How to Raise Your Regressor

"Even with Lecia, you!" Neia screamed.

Holy shiet.

"What about me?" Lecia frowned as her gaze alternated between us.

See? I knew these fuckers would somehow fuck things up.

And to think that Neia had to open her mouth right before I was going to wrap everything up and call it a day. This shows that as long as these wankers are around, I cannot relax even until the last moment.

It's impressive, in a sense. Wow.

Of course, one could argue that it was me who incited her into spouting this bullshit with my 'rude' words, but she's still the one to blame.

The amount of time we have spent together and the things we have been through together (that sounds strangely romantic but whatever) should have been enough to make her realise that I was just joking.

In fact, I was expecting her to go along with my joke, have some light-hearted banter for a cheap laugh or two, then go along her way, yet here we are.

The very fact that she didn't realise that I was just kidding shows how incompetent she is.

To think she had the audacity to try to convince me that she can be a better Guild Leader than Azell.

It's her fault that she took my words seriously and snapped at me. I'm the victim here, and I will avenge my broken heart.

End of story.

"Yeah, what about her?" I squinted my eyes and lowered the tone of my voice to portray that I was infuriated with her slip up.

Let's see how she'll react.

"…" Neia's eyes widened ever so slightly as they bore into mine.

Her eyes seemed to be asking, 'Why do you want to hide it? Why do you lie?'.

I mean, it's not like her eyes actually spoke or communicated with me telepathically because as organs, their only function is vision (exceptions exist, obviously).

No, I just assumed that's what Neia wanted to ask after analysing her expression, eyes et cetera.

And even then, I cannot be 100% sure if that's what she's really thinking because I'm not a wanker expert.

But at the very least, Neia doesn't seem to be in the mood to blast Lecia's face with the truth of what happened today, neither does she seem to want to challenge me in any way.

But like I said before, Neia is a wanker of the New Dawn Guild, so it's impossible for a mortal like me to predict what's going through her wanker mind.

"Do you want to say that I've been manipulating Lecia all along?" I asked before Neia could voice the thoughts of her eyes.

It's important to control the conversation if I want to- which I obviously do- avoid ruining my epic prank.

"Have you not?"

"Of course not," I shrugged. "You give me too much credit. Remember, I'm just a 12-year-old boi who has just begun to hit poverty."

"Puberty."

"Puberty is nothing more than the loss of one's childlike innocence; you could even say that puberty is when we become poor in innocence. That's why my usage of 'poverty' was correct."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Mr. Bullshitter," Neia rolled her eyes. "Don't try to change the subject."

Wut.

When did I try to change the subject? It was her choice to deviate from the topic of conversation by correcting me, and I merely defended myself.

Am I being falsely and baselessly accused?

Damn, being the victim of what I always do sure is pretty confronting.

"I didn't change the subject, I ended it. Like I said, you think too highly of me. I'm just a normal, wee little 12-year-old lad."

"Normal?" Neia sneered. "Right, you are the most normal boy I have ever seen."

"Right?"

"Indeed," she nodded. "In fact, you are the only normal one. It is us who are abnormal."

Wow.

"Glad that you can finally see the areas you are lacking in," I sniffed back a tear. "Hopefully, you will now strive to improve yourself."

"We will, we will," she nodded again. "After all, isn't it only normal that you one-shotted a Dragon? We should all be capable of it."

Oh my.

"A what?" Azell furrowed his brows.

"Oh, please, you exaggerate. Dragons are a proud race that sit at the very top of this world. That mindless beast can hardly be considered one of them," I smiled.

Neia flinched as her eyes widened to their very extreme, "What? How…"

Heh, did she really think I wouldn't notice the true identity of the Dragon who tried to kidnap her by taking me as a hostage?

After all is said and done, Neia still underestimates me.

Nice.

Of course, I exaggerated a bit because that Dragon definitely wasn't a mindless beast (Mindless Beast Rule No. 653: They are incapable of making independent, calculated decisions), but let's just roll with it.

"You really killed a Dragon?" Lecia asked, clearly taken aback.

"Obviously not," I shrugged overdramatically. "Neia's just exaggerating things to prove a point that otherwise makes no sense. Classic Neia."

"Wha?!" Neia exclaimed.

"Anyway, this tomfoolery aside," I changed the topic of conversation by ignoring Neia like she was Lecia in distress and turning to Azell. "Is the exchange student from the Old Blood Guild here yet?"

"Hm? Ah, yes, he arrived in the evening."

Oh wait, asking this question in front of Lecia might not have been the most tactical decision on my part because, you know, it might imply that I was out when the exchange member arrived at our Guild.

Well, if she suspects anything I'll just say I was enjoying a nice, relaxing sauna so I didn't know.

I could also say that I was somehow helping Azell save her by staying at the Guild, so I didn't have the time to pay attention to what was happening outside my room.

"Exchange student?" Lecia asked.

Well, of course, Lecia is too dumb to realise the inconsistency in my story.

Like, seriously if someone actually sat down to analyse my story, they'll find it has more plot holes than G*me of Th**nes' final season.

But that someone will definitely not be Lecia, because she's dumb.

Hmmm, I feel like I'm being too harsh on her because in reality, she's just a little girl who just hit puberty.

However, this is the New Dawn Guild, which is headed by a motherfucking Regressor and whose members include an Ancient Vampire, the Ultimate Weapon, a former assassin, a fucking Dragon, the motherfucking Shadowlord, and of course, little old me.

Lecia definitely needs to up her game.

"Right, you might not know, but we are conducting a Guild Member exchange programme to improve our relations with other Guilds. The Old Blood Guild is where we'll exchange our first member."

"Ah, I see," she nodded. "Then who's going from our side?"

"I am."

"You?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Yup. After all, unlike you, we all need to put in our hours if we don't want to sleep on an empty stomach."

Welcome to the real world.