How to Raise Your Regressor

From the other end of the darkness (all the chandeliers had been destroyed after all) came out the figure of a woman.

Garbed in regal robes, even the absence of a crown didn't make me think that the one in front of me was not a King.

Her hair, the silver of the night moon shining in night sky, fluttered as she made her way towards us.

Each of her steps held a majesty befitting a ruler, while her smile bore the confidence of a tyrant.

Her crimson eyes pierced through the darkness to behold our figures, and a gorgeous sword hung at her waist.

However, no matter how much of a human she looked, the two black horns adorning her silver hair were a testament that she was anything but that.

"Chaobris…" Azell muttered under his breath.

Now what? Another figure from his previous turn? What is this, a Regression Reunion?

"Oh? You know me? This should make it easier then." Chaobris stared at us. "Leave as quietly and quickly as possible. I'm sure I don't need to remind you of the consequences if you don't."

"Fine, we'll take the Shadowlord and-"

"Uh, uh, uh." She shook her index finger. "The Shadowlord stays behind."

"…With all due respect, we cannot leave without the Shadowlord." Azell remained courteous.

Which meant that he either respected this woman or didn't want to anger her at this point because she was much stronger.

"Oh my, that is a problem." Chaobris cupped her chin. "You see, I came here from a long way just for the Shadowlord. Going back without her would be a huge waste of my time. So why don't you give me some face and just leave?" She smiled sweetly.

"I'm sorry, but we cannot."

"Hmm… this is troublesome." She rubbed her chin for some moments and then suddenly released an aura full of bloodlust.

"Guh!" Noelle groaned.

The surging aura was full of her desire to kill, was creepy and seemed like it was directly affecting our souls.

For a moment, it seemed that she was the origin of the darkness surrounding us.

My vision swayed as the former throne room trembled due the sheer bloodlust that was gushing out of her.

"Well, how about now?" She smiled, but this time it didn't reach her manic eyes.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Okay, first of all, let me get this straight.

She dares to threaten me, the First Being?

A mere foetus has the audacity to stand against the one who made her very existence possible?

Does she think that just because my body is battered right now, I can't do anything?

This piece of shit motherfucker.

"Now look here- hmm?" But before I could give her a piece of my mind, our eyes met and I was forced to stop.

"Huh?"

So she felt it as well, huh.

"Who… are you?"

"I'd like to ask you the same, Ms. Chaobris."

She scowled in return, perhaps pondering over what we felt.

We detected a certain resonance between us. No, to be more precise, we felt a resonance between our very souls, as if they were… similar.

Which is impossible, because in this Universe, no one but me has the 'right' to be eternal.

But I did feel our souls resonate with each other, so there must be a connection between us, a connection I'm not aware of.

This is the first time this has happened.

"Aahhhh." Chaobris hit her palm with her fist and then smiled. "I see, I did hear about you."

The fuck is this woman talking about?

She heard about me? In what sense? And whom did she hear it from?

More importantly, she seems to know how we're related (just don't tell me that she's my illegitimate child or something).

"I see." I replied passively to show that I knew what she was talking about.

I have no fucking clue though.

"To think that I'd meet you here. The Universe really is small."

Ex-fucking-cuse me? The Universe is small?

She just insulted me in a way I never expected.

"Or maybe it was just fate."

Noelle and Azell remained quiet to avoid antagonising her but did give me looks of 'What the hell are you doing?'

"Fate, eh?" Her lips curled up into a smile. "Tell me. What do you plan to do with the Shadowlord?"

"I'm going to raise her."

"Hoh?" She raised her eyebrow. "Hehe, for what?"

"For some very, hehehehe, interesting stuff." I employed my superb acting skills to give her a menacing expression with a hint of madness hidden behind my eyes.

Surprisingly, it seemed to have worked.

"I see." She smirked. "I'll be leaving her in your care, then."

Hmm, so she knew that the Shadowlord is a female.

"Thank you."

"That aside, are you alright?"

She looked at my bleeding arms.

"I have been better."

"Would you like me to help you?"

"You will?"

"Nope."

And people say that I'm the asshole. Wow.

"Figured."

"Heh, you seem to know me well."

Well, I would have done the same. There is a reason people called me an asshole.

"It'd be hard to not know someone of your stature."

By which I mean I've never heard of the name Chaobris in my entire life.

Who the fuck names their child that, anyway? Like bruh, how much hatred do you need to have for your child to name her something like that?

"Fair enough." She giggled. "It's a shame, but I'll be taking my leave. Don't worry though; I'll pay you a visit sometime soon."

Please don't.

"I shall be looking forward to that."

Alright, time to find out how late is too late to abort a baby. Our experiment subject would be the one and only, Ms. Chaobris.

"You better be."

Wut?

She glanced at the expressionless Azell and shivering Noelle, and turned around. The next moment, her figure vanished.

"Haaaaaaahhhhh." I released the breath I had been holding- hmm?

Oh wow. Seems like my shit body was actually scared of her.

"Who was that, Samur?" Noelle asked.

"I have no idea." I shrugged.

"Eh? But weren't you two talking right now?"

"I used an advanced technique called 'lying'." I smiled. "Rather, it should be Azell who knows her."

He was the one who muttered her name after all.

"I do, but I'll tell you later." He put his sword back. "Treating you comes first."

"Oh, right."

I forgot that I was still riding a supersonic train heading towards my death.

It's so easy to forget about your injuries, especially when your will to live is lower than these two's standards for inviting a child into their Guild.

"Did you really forget?" Azell frowned.

"What? Pfft, no, not at all."

"…"

"Hey look, the clock is ticking. You want to save me, right?"

"We really need to have a serious discussion."

Hot damn, I thought my desire to live was already at rock bottom but this guy just took a shovel and dug even deeper. Wao.

I seriously hope I do not survive this.

"Get on my back. Noelle, strap him." Azell instructed after sitting down.

I did as I was told (hoping that I'd die of shame) and Noelle strapped me on his back.

"Wait, what about the Shadowlord?"

Are we really going to leave without her?

"I'll come back for her later. Saving your life is more important."

Wow, I'm touched.

"Is it really alright to just leave her like that?"

What if some dodgy wanker discovered and decided to use her for some not so wholesome purposes?

"No one can touch her without the medallion."

Ah, yes, that worked out perfectly before, didn't it? I've never seen such baseless confidence since the time a noob decided to challenge me on a game I'd spent 16000 hours on.

Azell stood up while handling my weight like a champion and dashed towards the entrance to this former throne room, with Noelle closely following behind us.

Our journey through the rest of the dungeon was once again uneventful.

However, the same could not be said for when we finally exited the dungeon.

"Put that monster down, and step back." Said the guy wearing plate armour and pointing his sword at us.

Well, well, well, if it isn't the guys who abandoned me in this forest.