How to Raise Your Regressor

A pleasant wind blew and rustled my hairs, calming my supercharged nerves and cooling my body.

Alas, there were no trees atop his cliff to rustle, so the ambience was not as nice as it could have been.

The wind was helping blow away the smell of blood, however.

I looked down and sure enough, it was a long way down. If I fall, I shouldn't survive.

Then I looked back and sure enough, all of those wankers were dead. None of them would suddenly wake up due to a bullshit plot armour and try to stop me.

These fuckers actually had the audacity to stop me from jumping down this cliff and ending my life. I tried to reason with them, but they didn't relent so I was left with no choice but to send them ahead of me.

That's what you get for getting in my way, idiots.

Anyway, with their deaths, there should be no one left to care for me. Nice.

Now then, let's end this-

⟦I care.⟧

Wut?

[I don't think this is the time for jokes, Memory System.]

I mean, the Memory System and care for me? They're literally on the opposite ends of the spectrum. And as opposite ends, they cannot meet.

Well, they could theoretically meet if the spectrum becomes a circle, but then the spectrum itself will change, so let's put that hypothetical case aside.

⟦I have always cared for you.⟧

[Right.]

Now then, should I go for a backflip? Or a frontflip? Or should I do one of those complicated-

⟦It's not a joke. I truly care for you.⟧

[…Have you started malfunctioning? You should still have a few millions of years before needing maintenance.]

⟦No, it's what I was created to do.⟧

[…What is that supposed to mean?]

⟦Because she could not stay by your side forever, she programmed me in such a way that I could replace her and care for you.⟧

What.

The.

Actual.

Fuck.

That's literally impossible- ah.

Now I see.

The moment I realised it, the world around me started to wiggle.

The next moment, I opened my eyes.

"Yup, thought so."

It was a dream. Phew.

I don't think I could handle the Memory System caring for me.

⟦Don't worry. I never would.⟧

[You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that.]

⟦Have you considered seeking professional help?⟧

[Yes.]

That aside, where the fuck am I?

The last thing I remember is my vision fading as I was staring at the beautiful night sky above me.

The thing above me right now, however, is white, so unless the sun of this world exploded in a supernova and created a black hole which sucked this world as a result of which I'm currently inside the singularity, I have changed locations.

If I were to make an educated guess, I'd say that someone brought me here.

I got up and looked around but there was no one in my room.

Oh well, whatever. At least I wasn't taken advantage of, so at the very least this mysterious helper is a decent person.

Anyway, let's move on to more productive things.

And by that I don't mean sleep (surprising, I know), but actual productive things.

I still have to create that Shadow Organisation, after all.

It's not that I don't want to sleep; it's just that I don't want to accidentally continue that nightmare.

Like bruh. I'd rather live this life in its entirety than let something like that happen.

Anyway, because it's important to maintain a work life balance, let's make coffee for myself. Only after that will I decide what I should do next.

And so, I got up, brushed my teeth and took a nice shower (personal hygiene is important after all) and prepared my coffee.

"Hello there, Mr. Cat," I greeted the black cat perched on my window.

"Meow."

"Ah, do you know who carried me here last night?"

It was with me the entire time; it might have an idea of who the perpetrator is.

"…" it quietly averted its gaze.

Why am I getting the feeling that this cat had something to do with me being here? Don't tell me that it was the one who carried me here.

If so, I can only wonder how many steroids the cat has abused to get this strong. I should probably consult him so that I can get stronger as well.

Or maybe the cat fetched someone to carry me to my room, but that's the boring and mature assumption.

Now then, time to seize the day.

After finishing my coffee, of course.

❄️❄️❄️

*Knock* *Knock*

"Come in."

I did as I was told and entered the office.

"Ah, the sleeping prince is awake," Azell smiled as he saw me.

"No one kissed me awake so I had to take matters into my own hands."

Wait, that makes it sound like I kissed myself to get up.

"Right," he chuckled. "Though next time, consider returning home rather than sleeping in a garden."

"Was it you who brought me here?"

"No, it was Noelle."

Huh, that's interesting. And here I thought that she would stab me to death the moment she found the opportunity to do so.

I wasn't ready to see this level of maturity from her.

Is she finally experiencing character development? Let's hope that she grows into the edgy teenager who is, you know, too edgy to show care for those around him.

That will give me some peace of mind.

Hmm, but now that I think about it, it's a bit late for her to turn into an edgy character. I might have to guide her a bit.

I should probably look into it.

Actually, let's treat it as a side quest; not compulsory to continue the story, but completing it would make my life easier.

"Thank you," I thanked the secretary.

"No problem," she smiled and went back to work.

"Anyway, did you need me for something?" Azell asked.

"Yes. I have something for you."

"Oh?"

"Actually, I have something for everyone."

"Everyone?" He raised his eyebrow in amusement.

"Yup. Consider them gifts for being my new family- pfft!" I couldn't help but snicker as I said this.

"…"

"…"

Damn, it's getting harder to suppress my grin.

"Anyway, I'm sure they will help you a lot."

"Is that so?" Azell grinned. "Noelle?"

"Yes, Guild Master?"

"Please summon everyone."

"Yes," she smiled.

Seems like she also looks forward to what I have in store.

As they rightfully should.

❄️❄️❄️

"These are for you," I said as I put a black case in front of everyone except Neia.

I wasn't discriminating against her (I'm not a racist); hers was just a big black box.

"Why is mine so big?" The Dragon in question asked.

"You'll see."

"…" She gulped and nodded, perhaps wondering what abomination I had created for her.

"Now then, please open it,".

Everyone aka the members of the New Dawn Guild's Core Team complied and opened the cases lining up the table in front of them.

"What's… this?" Arteria wondered out loud as she picked up the ring.

"Will you marry me, Arteria?"

"Yes," she smiled and pulled the ring closer to her chest.

"Damn, you're good."

"I learned from the best," she giggled. "Seriously now, what is this?"

"It's a communication device that lets you talk to anyone who has that same ring."

"Ah, like a phone!" Noelle exclaimed.

Yup, it's basically the best mobile phone that money could buy in 1975.

"A fone? What's that?"

Obviously, as a pleb aka native of this world, I should not know what a phone is.

"Ah, it's the same as this ring," Noelle replied. "It allows you to talk to anyone no matter where you are."

Not exactly, as some places don't have a signal, but she's got the basic gist right.

"Hmm, then you are right. This ring IS similar to a phone. It doesn't matter where you are; as long as you have this ring, you can talk to anyone in this room."

"Hooh," Clementine stared at the ring in her hand in admiration.

"It also transmits your location in real time so if you're ever in danger, just give someone a call. We'll instantly know where you are and come to your aid."

Assuming we're not sleeping by then because then you're on your own, chief.

"Damn," Antonio exclaimed and put on the ring. "It looks good."

"Every ring is custom made to make sure it goes well anything you wear."

It's usually function before fashion but I'm an out of the box thinker so I incorporated both of these qualities.

And as I thought, the sleek black rings looked good.

"Black is the only available colour right now as it usually looks good with everything, but I'm working on creating an entire set of rings to fulfil your fashion needs."

"Huh, thanks," Neia looked at the rings in amazement.

"And what about this?" Noelle asked as she pulled out the necklace.

"It's a protective amulet."

"An amulet?"

"Consider it your lucky charm. If you're ever in danger, just hold it in your hands and think of how you want to get out of that situation, and you wishes will be answered."

"Really?" Noelle smiled bemusedly.

"Yup. The teleportation magic circle engraved on it will activate and teleport you to safety."

"…"