Hellbound Heart

This bonus chapter is dedicated to @Ivette_M11! Thank you so much for the supergift!!! <3

___

Elle felt as though something inside her had crashed. His grip on her wrist felt ever too tight. It was not painful, but her throat was somehow aching. A little. Or so she told herself.

The moment she reached out to touch him, he reacted as though… as though her hand was some kind of deadly weapon that could kill him. She did not even manage to touch him. At all. Not to mention touch… she was not even near enough to feel the warmth radiating off his skin. Nor did she manage to say what she had so desperately wanted to say.

No matter how wild the blazing inferno between them was just a little while ago, to Elle, that one reaction was enough to douse the fire and turned it directly into ice. His reaction had hurt her damned little heart, more so when she saw how violent his reaction was. How could he tell her he wanted her so badly and yet not allow her to even touch him? She could not comprehend how his path of logic was. And she suddenly had the thought that she might never do.

Slowly, she shook her head at him when both of them finally seemed to snap out of that shocking trance they were caught in. Elle being shocked was a given as her move to get closer to him had been rejected without even being given a chance. But she did wonder why even Sebastian himself had been thrown into a trance as well. Was he not the one who had so violently rejected her advances?

His grip on her wrist then loosened and then he opened his lips to speak as his other hand reached out to touch her chin. "Izabelle –" he started but was forced to stop.

"No." Elle's clipped tone cut him off from continuing.

That one word had him immediately freezing in his tracks. His eyes widened with shock as his hand hung uselessly in mid-air.

Elle clenched her fists tightly by her sides. She hated how badly this was affecting her. She hated the way her heart was reacting to him. This should not have come as a surprise to her in fact. Sebastian had said it clearly to her before… he never wanted her to touch him. She had heard him and had kept this rule of his in her mind, never forgetting about it no matter what. But tonight, when he had earlier on said that he wanted her so so badly… and she too, had seen how much he had wanted her… she had thought that… Well, it was apparent that she had overestimated her worth to him and thought too much.

Why? How could he ask her to give herself to him again when he could not even… could not even let her do a simple thing like touch him? How could he? Or perhaps she was being unfair in jumping to conclusions and getting upset with him? After all, they do not know each other well at all.

"Is there… a reason why you don't like to be touched?" she asked in a weak voice. Something in her wanted him to explain to her. To say something about the reason why he was behaving this way. She needed him to tell her that there was a serious reason why and that her touch did not disgust him at all.

But his expression had only turned blank at her words. His eyes turned unfathomable. One look and Elle could already tell that he was not going to say anything. She could just feel it. Her gut was telling her.

At that moment, a new decision reigned firmly in her mind. She was going to tell him… she was going to have a bargain with him. She would be willing to have sex with him again. But only if he allowed her to touch him. She would be willing to give herself to him again, but in exchange, he must then give a piece of himself to her too. Even if it is just the privilege of her touching him. He needed to give something to her. Even if it were not all of him, it was at least something. If he can't even do that…

Braving herself as she tipped her chin up at him with a challenging look, Elle opened her lips to speak when suddenly, a voice echoed at the back of her head. It was Sebastian's voice and words from that night she had proposed him a marriage of convenience, that same night she had made a bargain with him. 'Because the moment you start to want more from me, I will divorce you.'

Those words echoed in her head like a voice that belonged to the devil in the pits of hell itself. It resounded over and over in her head until whatever courage she had mustered to speak up was immediately shattered into pieces.

Suddenly, fear crept through her. Saying those words only meant she wanted more of what he was willing to give. And wanting to touch him was obviously under the category of 'more'.

An urge to laugh bitterly came to her. Dear Lord… she had almost screwed up. It had not even been a week yet… and what was she even thinking? Risking herself to be divorced? What in the world was she thinking?! How could she have been this naïve to think she could ask anything of him just because he had said he wanted her? How could she have forgotten that it was only her body that he wanted?

"I'm… cold." She muttered as she hugged herself. "I want to go get dressed now." She waited for a moment. Not wanting to anger him.

When he did not move, Elle slowly turned around and trudged out of the bathroom.

As soon as the door quietly shut closed behind her, Sebastian's jaws clenched and worked. Then his palm slammed against the wall.