Heart of Darkness

Angelica leaned back on the bench having no energy to get up and talk to him today. She had no desire to do anything. There was just emptiness wherever she looked. But as she kept ignoring him, she suddenly thought about William and straightened herself. Did he know something? Did he do something to her brother? If he went to her home, he certainly knew she had a brother.

Standing up from her seat she went to hear what he had to say. When it came to her brother, she was his one and only protector. He had no one but her.

"Good afternoon, My Lady." He greeted.

"Good afternoon."

"You look exhausted," he pointed.

"Well, I have been a little ill."

He frowned. "So have you been thinking about my offer?"

"I really didn't understand your offer, My Lord. I don't know what you expect of me. Being a demon's wife, you have to understand that I don't trust you."

"You still think I want to hurt you because you are with a demon?"

"I have no reason to think otherwise."

"How about this," he began. "If I simply just wanted to hurt you I would be standing here with a dagger pointed at your brother's throat. All this time in a military camp, I could have gotten my hands on him easily. I still can. He is not really in a place I can't enter. Not to bring your husband into this. I could easily turn into a tiger and have him as a late lunch and once he was dead I would be able to enter this castle and get my hands on you."

Angelica froze and he held his hands up. "I don't mean to threaten and you don't need to lock your brother in this castle just the way you are locked in there. You are like a mother to him, you raised him. Now, will you just lock him in somewhere? And for how long? It seems like you don't understand how powerful I am? Even if your husband gathered all of his friends, I would destroy them. So many people who will get hurt to protect you."

Angelica just stared at him.

"Don't worry. I know touching your brother would make things really bad between us. I want an alliance. Not hostility. You can discuss this with your husband. I don't mind. But trust me, you would want to be on my side." This time he said it with urgency. Whoever he wanted to defeat wasn't an easy target.

"Who is your enemy?"

"I can assure you it is not someone you know or care about."

"My husband should be here anytime soon. Why don't you come by when he is here?"

"If that is what you wish. I was just avoiding any fights but now you know I have no ill-intentions."

"It is good to know. I'll let my husband know," she said.

They looked at each other for a long moment and then she remembered her mother's words. "Always trust your body's signals. It tells you what you don't know. It is your special gift."

She looked at Constantine and felt some strange way. She wasn't sure if it was good or bad but something told her that this wasn't what it seemed like.

"If you hurt my brother then…"

"I have no intention of hurting your brother," he said firmly. "Not even you. You are a smart lady and that is why I am speaking to you. Think about what kind of life you want to live. If you want to be locked or do you want to be free."

Angelica remained silent.

He smiled and then bowed. "It is a lot to think about. I understand. I'll leave you to think alone. I hope you agree and that we can work together for a long time. After all, if you mate with a demon, you will get to live an eternity."

Angelica frowned. He was clearly happy about her living for a long time. A never-ending supply of blood. Fangs. She shivered.

"It is a lot to think about. I'll take my leave. I'll see you again, Lady Rayven." He bowed and then vanished.

Angelica stood there with so many words swirling in her head, but she wasn't triggered this time. She was calmer than she should be. Maybe because she was understanding things more and more but also because she felt like she had an advantage. He needed her badly. Whoever he needed to fight was even stronger and he was eager to defeat them.

This time she didn't think much about what he said either. She felt somehow slow, unwilling to do anything and just waiting until she could get back to sleep. Her lack of trying frightened her. What was this heavy emptiness in her chest? This feeling of sickness in her stomach.

Angelica spent the afternoon struggling between trying to think and just feeling slow and tired. She didn't even realize when the evening came and Rayven was still not home. Did something happen to him? Was Constantine perhaps trying to prove a point?

Suddenly she woke up from the slowness and her thoughts went in a hundred different directions. She waited and waited and then she called, feeling stupid.

"Rayven!"

She tried three times and then shook her head. Of course, he had been joking. Just what was she trying to do?

She went outside to the garden and waited some more while pacing back and forth. What was she supposed to do? As she turned she found him coming through the gate. His clothes looked a little misplaced and she thought she saw blood on his shirt.

"Rayven?" She hurried to him. "Are you alright?" She began to examine him. Where was he bleeding?

"I am sorry I am late," he said.

"What happened?"

"Nothing serious. I just… I am sorry. I lost the sense of time and… you must have been very worried."

"Are you hurt anywhere?" She asked.

From the way he spoke, she couldn't help but keep worrying even though she couldn't see any injuries anywhere.

He grabbed her arms, looking sad.

"You were right. You have been protecting yourself and you keep doing so. I am useless and I can't even protect you."

"No, don't say that. It is not about one protecting the other. We will help each other to protect each other. We will work together. You don't have to do anything alone nor should you," she told him.

She hoped he wouldn't put this burden on himself because Constantine wouldn't be easy to defeat and she hoped he wouldn't ask her to do nothing. This wasn't only about her. It was about him too and her brother. She would never just sit down while her brother could possibly be in danger and now Constantine had let her know what could happen.

"Where did the blood come from?" She asked him.

"It's a long story and probably one you wouldn't want to hear."

She sighed. "Alright. Could you just please remember to let me know in some way if you are coming home late?"

She couldn't live with this worry and she really needed him today. But he was a man with his own struggles and even though he changed so much they still had a long way to go. Things wouldn't be the way they should be yet and she would just have to be patient with the process. Healing needed a lot of time.

He nodded and looked down as if ashamed. "I am sorry."

"It is alright."

She could definitely not live like this because the truth was she wasn't alright. She had been losing her mind worrying when she was already feeling unwell. She felt like she was slowly losing herself, not knowing what was right or wrong, a lie or a truth anymore.

"Would I know that you are safe if we… if we mate?"

He looked up, eyes wide with surprise and then he frowned. "Angelica, you… you are not thinking about it. Are you?"

"I am."

"Is this because I came late? I won't be anymore. I promise. Yes, I messed up and I am a stupid demon. There is… so much wrong I have done and I got lost in it today. But I am slowly realizing things. I know it is not the time and you need me and…"

"Rayven," she put her hands on his arms to stop him. He looked so stressed that if the situation wasn't so serious she would have chuckled. But facing your fears, this wasn't something she was just asking because she was angry. This was very serious for her and she was scared to death. But as scared as she was, she knew fangs would touch her skin one day. How long could she avoid Constantine? So she would rather let Rayven bite her first than anyone else.

She would faint at most, maybe have more nightmares, maybe discover more horrible things but since it was inevitable she just wanted to get it over with so she could finally breathe.

"It is not because of that.. I just want to do it," she said.