Guild Wars
749 Floor Skipping
<strong>Author's Note</strong>: Truly, I Kotario am the kindest author on the site. After hearing pleas to skip floors, I dedicated 1 chapter to skipping a whole 10. Sigh, no need to thank me, I do this because you all begged me on your knees and I couldn't resist after seeing your snot and tears.
............................
"Bitch dog Draco, what is the meaning of this? Why did you summon us here? Why is this place filled with Magical Girls?!" Clarent asked these prudent questions rapid-fire, taking a step back for each line.
"Oh hehe, my dear buddy Clarent, it's just the latest set of floors and I require your help clearing them. Not to mention that these Magical Girls clearly insulted me just now, so I needed some backup." Draco explained as he apported beside the Dragon and patted him on the back.
Clarent began to shiver like he had a severe chill, his teeth clattering. "B-Brother Draco… P-Please spare me…"
"Hm, what makes you think I want to harm you?" Draco asked as he tilted his head in confusion.
"You would never explain yourself if things were legit! If you didn't have any vile plans you would just clobber us and tell us to follow in line!" Clarent pointed out, which made Draco freeze.
Ah shit, his villain instincts had kicked in, making him put on an act to convince his victim/target to lower their guard. Naturally, this vastly different from his typical 'best friend' mode where he was more direct and honest in case he actually needed these two louts for something shameless.
"What are you waiting for, they are ready!" Draco roared to Sophias who was still sweating from the weight of the earlier accusations. Seeing that the topic had shifted, she quickly jumped on it.
"A pledge to do good, an honor of womanhood, magicalizing beam, GOOOO!!" Sophias roared as she pointed a pink wand with a cute heart head with a ruby in the center at the two louts.
Immediately, Qiong Qi was enveloped by a golden light, while Clarent was enveloped by a fiery red light. They froze as the animation of the transformation took over their body functions.
"Chosen heroes, Transform!" Sophias shouted, as the light intensified on Clarent and Qiong Qi.
They also made a pose and shouted back: "Transform!"
Suddenly, Qiong Qi and Clarent found themselves in the middle of a glittery and sparkly universe, their bodies obscured by some strange bright light that only left their faces uncovered. Qiong Qi's was golden, while Clarent's was bright red.
They rotated on the spot while revolving around the camera, their arms outstretched. There was a sudden bright shot of light emerging from their forearms where two elbow-length gloves appeared; one gold for Qiong Qi, one red for Clarent.
Another occurred on their feet, where two knee-length cowgirl boots appeared, with the same color scheme. Finally, there were their chests, where lovely gold leotards formed for Qiong Qi while a lovely red leotard formed for Clarent, both of which were covered by a blouse sporting their color.
To top it off were two short, frilly skirts that appeared on both their bodies, Qiong Qi's dark gold, and Clarent's dark red. A white choker appeared on their necks which had a glowing heart-shaped crystal in it, and their hair immediately grew longer, tied into twin tails.
At the end of it all, each one took on a lovely pose, the duo looking like they might be an idol group.
"Magical Girl Qiong Qi, reporting for duty!" Qiong Qi introduced himself happily.
"Magical Girl Clarent, reporting for duty!" Clarent followed up with a little shake of his bum.
When the two were released from the animation - which they couldn't resist like Draco since they had no mental-esque powers - they lowered their heads as their faces became obscured.
They just stood there while the various magical boys and girls cheered at the new additions, while Eva was rolling on the floor laughing. As for Draco, he had a hard expression since he had made sure to record all of it.
(Author's Note: In case I haven't mentioned it before, but a hard expression is basically a JoJo face, the Young Dio one.)
"Brothers, I do this not for us, but for my own personal pride, dignity, and satisfaction. One day, you will come to understand." Draco stated heroically as Eva's laughter reached a new peak.
"Since we have two new Magical Girls, let's go on with the training!" Sophias exclaimed with excitement.
Queue floor 42 training montage. (Author's note: Yeah, I only introduced this Magical Girl stuff for this one joke, I don't know enough about the genre to write 10 floors of it, nor do I wish to change that time. Many of you have asked for it, so here you have it, SKIPPING TIME!!!)
「Congratulations on completing: Tower of Babylon Forty-Second Floor
Time elapsed: ???
Objectives complete: All
Assessment: EX+
Reward:
46,000 Score Points
1 Treasure Selection Reward - Peak Gold Grade」
Next!
「The Forty-Third Floor – Divine Quest
Description: Welcome to the heart of Japan, Tokyo! This bustling city is as normal as possible on a daily basis, except for when otherworld beasts called the Kaiju attack cities and destroy property (more than human life for some reason). However, a group of special underage and overly cutesy yet sexualized girls have pledged to fight these beats on your behalf! Just another normal day in Tokyo!
After truly learning what it means to be a Magical Girl, you must now evolve your secret identity! Transform!
Limitation 1: There is no Worldly Energy or Mana in this mundane world, only technology, and depression.
Limitation 2: You may retreat from the floor at any time, but upon re-entry, you would have to resume from the exact situation you were in at the time.
Limitation 3: You cannot use any class-based skills or abilities, as well as your equipment.
Limitation 4: You can only use the power of the Magical Girl while in this world.
Provision 1: This world is a world of kindness and justice, with cartoonish elements. The death rate is low and you will be given significant plot armor as long as you act the part.
Provision 2: You may freely use any healing items and consumables in your Inventory.
Provision 3: You can use any and all of your Tradeskills at will.
Provision 4: You have a team of allies and an advantage over enemy forces in this world. Use your resources well!
Rewards: Score Points, 1 Gold-Tier Reward Selection.」
FLOOR, SKIPP!!
「Congratulations on completing: Tower of Babylon Forty-Third Floor
Time elapsed: ???
Objectives complete: All
Assessment: EX+
Reward:
47,000 Score Points
1 Treasure Selection Reward - Peak Gold Grade」
Next!
「The Forty-Fourth Floor – Divine Quest
Description: Welcome to the heart of Japan, Tokyo! This bustling city is as normal as possible on a daily basis, except for when otherworld beasts called the Kaiju attack cities and destroy property (more than human life for some reason). However, a group of special underage and overly cutesy yet sexualized girls have pledged to fight these beats on your behalf! Just another normal day in Tokyo!
Now that you have a secret identity, go to school as normal and experience being bullied and misunderstood!
Limitation 1: There is no Worldly Energy or Mana in this mundane world, only technology, and depression.
Limitation 2: You may retreat from the floor at any time, but upon re-entry, you would have to resume from the exact situation you were in at the time.
Limitation 3: You cannot use any class-based skills or abilities, as well as your equipment.
Limitation 4: You can only use the power of the Magical Girl while in this world.
Provision 1: This world is a world of kindness and justice, with cartoonish elements. The death rate is low and you will be given significant plot armor as long as you act the part.
Provision 2: You may freely use any healing items and consumables in your Inventory.
Provision 3: You can use any and all of your Tradeskills at will.
Provision 4: You have a team of allies and an advantage over enemy forces in this world. Use your resources well!
Rewards: Score Points, 1 Gold-Tier Reward Selection.」
Watch the Magical Adventures of Magical Girl Darleene by using your Virtua Helmet!
「Congratulations on completing: Tower of Babylon Forty-Fourth Floor
Time elapsed: ???
Objectives complete: All
Assessment: EX+
Reward:
48,000 Score Points
1 Treasure Selection Reward - Peak Gold Grade」
Next!
「The Forty-Fifth Floor – Divine Quest
Description: Welcome to the heart of Japan, Tokyo! This bustling city is as normal as possible on a daily basis… etc!
Oh no, a sudden attack on the school! Defend the innocent - even that shitty bully Jenny - all the while keeping your identity secret! Magical Girl, Transform!
Limitation 1: There is no Worldly Energy or Mana… etc!
Limitation 2: You may retreat from the floor at any time… etc!
Limitation 3: You cannot use any class-based… etc!
Limitation 4: You can only use the power of… etc!
Provision 1: This world is a world of kindness and justice… etc!
Provision 2: You may freely use any healing items… etc!
Provision 3: You can use any and all… etc!
Provision 4: You have a team of allies and… etc!
Rewards: Score Points, 1 Gold-Tier Reward Selection.」
*Insert Slice of Life montage...*
「Congratulations on completing: Tower of Babylon Forty-Fifth Floor
Time elapsed: ???
Objectives complete: All
Assessment: EX+
Reward:
49,000 Score Points
1 Treasure Selection Reward - Peak Gold Grade」
Captured footage from the Morningstar World:
Qiong Qi and Clarent stood side by side at the edge of the void, their eyes dull and full of indifference to everything. They had already reached the final stage of nihilism, not even caring about entropy itself.
Behind them, Chrona and Sheera were watching the videos of the duo transforming with uproarious laughter, which struck the souls of the two retards, but their barrier of indifference kept them from bursting into tears.
They had already cried enough to fill entire lakes. Now, there were no more tears remaining. Their hearts were empty, and their souls were filled with bleakness.
"Hahaha, Mommy, look at Daddy wearing a dress! He looks so funny!" The innocent and boisterous laughter of Qiong Qi's second daughter Nemea resounded as she jumped about laughing at the video.
"Hm, uncle Clarent totally looks lame and like a loser with that dress on. I'd hesitate to call him my uncle in public henceforth." Sphea, the firstborn and more calm, intelligent daughter stated with a push of her glasses.
Blood trickled down the side of the lips of Qiong Qi and Clarent's mouths, their eyes becoming even more lifeless. Immediately, they grew white hair and tilted their heads to the sky, pain on their faces which was obscured by that hair.
*Cue Tokyo Ghoul theme music.*
「The Forty-Sixth Floor – Divine Quest
Description: Welcome to the heart of Japan, Tokyo! This bustling city is as normal as possible on a daily basis… etc!
After saving the school, you found that Jenny was kidnapped and turned into a false Kaiju! Now, you must save her and turn her back using the power of talk-no-jutsu- *cough* love and friendship!
Limitation 1: There is no Worldly Energy or Mana… etc!
Limitation 2: You may retreat from the floor at any time… etc!
Limitation 3: You cannot use any class-based… etc!
Limitation 4: You can only use the power of… etc!
Provision 1: This world is a world of kindness and justice… etc!
Provision 2: You may freely use any healing items… etc!
Provision 3: You can use any and all… etc!
Provision 4: You have a team of allies and… etc!
Rewards: Score Points, 1 Gold-Tier Reward Selection.」
ERROR 404; No Virtua Helmet found!
「Congratulations on completing: Tower of Babylon Forty-Sixth Floor
Time elapsed: ???
Objectives complete: All
Assessment: EX+
Reward:
50,000 Score Points
1 Treasure Selection Reward - Peak Gold Grade」
Next!
「The Forty-Seventh Floor – Divine Quest
Description: Welcome to the heart of Japan, Tokyo! This bustling city is as normal as possible on a daily basis… etc!
You managed to save Jenny and became best friends! Yay! Now, you must thwart the plan of the Kaiju faction as they prepare to lead an army to invade Tokyo and cause irreparable property damage for their accountants and builders to get jobs! Transform!
Limitation 1: There is no Worldly Energy or Mana… etc!
Limitation 2: You may retreat from the floor at any time… etc!
Limitation 3: You cannot use any class-based… etc!
Limitation 4: You can only use the power of… etc!
Provision 1: This world is a world of kindness and justice… etc!
Provision 2: You may freely use any healing items… etc!
Provision 3: You can use any and all… etc!
Provision 4: You have a team of allies and… etc!
Rewards: Score Points, 1 Gold-Tier Reward Selection.」
Soon in the local Blockbuster near you!!!
「Congratulations on completing: Tower of Babylon Forty-Seventh Floor
Time elapsed: ???
Objectives complete: All
Assessment: EX+
Reward:
51,000 Score Points
1 Treasure Selection Reward - Peak Gold Grade」
Next!
「The Forty-Eighth Floor – Divine Quest
Description: Welcome to the heart of Japan, Tokyo! This bustling city is as normal as possible on a daily basis… etc!
Oh no, one of your teammates, Kenny the Magical Boy was captured by the Kaiju while scouting their operations! You must rush to save him before they execute him!
Limitation 1: There is no Worldly Energy or Mana… etc!
Limitation 2: You may retreat from the floor at any time… etc!
Limitation 3: You cannot use any class-based… etc!
Limitation 4: You can only use the power of… etc!
Provision 1: This world is a world of kindness and justice… etc!
Provision 2: You may freely use any healing items… etc!
Provision 3: You can use any and all… etc!
Provision 4: You have a team of allies and… etc!
Rewards: Score Points, 1 Gold-Tier Reward Selection.」
Unfortunately, due to budget reasons, this fight had to be shortened.
「Congratulations on completing: Tower of Babylon Forty-Eighth Floor
Time elapsed: ???
Objectives complete: All
Assessment: EX+
Reward:
52,000 Score Points
1 Treasure Selection Reward - Peak Gold Grade」
Captured footage from the Morningstar World:
"Come on you two, if I have to suffer, you do too." Draco huffed as he struggled to pull the two recalcitrant fellows along.
"NO, LET GO OF ME, VILE VERMIN!" Clarent roared with all his might, placing his claws firmly in the earth, dragging a line as he was pulled back.
"NO, MOMMY PLEASE! PLEASE SAVE ME!" Qiong Qi screeched like a banshee, also digging his claws into the ground with all his might.
"Che, you two are overreacting. It's not that bad, you just have to twerk your bum a bit and wear a dress." Draco tried to calm them down casually.
"I'M NOT WILLING! I'M NOT WILLING!!!" Clarent screamed as he was pulled halfway through the portal.
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO! PLEASE, I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!" Qiong Qi roared in despair as he felt half of his body enter the portal to the next floor.
"Why are you two acting like you care about your dignity anyway? You shameless bastards even dare to bully babies, yet you don't dare to wear a dress?" Draco chastised them as he huffed.
He was even using his Horned Demon True Body, yet he was struggling to pull these two. Their unwillingness to go gave them herculean strength.
Suddenly the Dragon Ancestor ran over and kicked their claws, twerking his bum mockingly and laughing cruelly.
"Bratty cat and retarded lizard, how dare you resist my disciple? Quickly scram into hell- *cough* heaven and come back."
Qiong Qi and Clarent lost their hold and were now free to be dragged by Draco.
Draco's eyes lit up, and he gave the Dragon Ancestor a thumbs up.
"Old man, you really are truly the best!"
"Hahaha, my beloved disciple, why don't you call me over? I can easily handle this kind of thing as well!" The Dragon Ancestor excitedly offered.
Draco paled and rejected. "NO! *cough*... Esteemed master, how could this lowly disciple dare to ask for your help. If I don't manage with the help of those two dog-like fellows, I don't deserve your tutelage!"
Meanwhile, Qiong Qi and Clarent glared at the Dragon Ancestor with hatred and anger, wishing they could refine his blood and devour his flesh.
"OLD MAN, YOU AND I CANNOT EXIST IN THIS WORLD TOGETHER!" Qiong Qi roared as he was pulled through the portal.
"FUCK! MY REVENGE WILL BE ETERNAL AND SWIFT, OLD BASTARD!" Clarent squealed as he was pulled in as well, his hate seething through his eyes.
The Dragon Ancestor lazily picked his ear. "This Ancestor shall stand right here. Do your worst."
「The Forty-Ninth Floor – Divine Quest
Description: Welcome to the heart of Japan, Tokyo! This bustling city is as normal as possible on a daily basis… etc!
NO! Those bastards killed Kenny the Magical Boy at the last minute right before your eyes, causing you to enter rage mode and unlock the power of the Magical Girl heart! Now, defeat all the enemies and get revenge for Kenny! Transform!
Limitation 1: There is no Worldly Energy or Mana… etc!
Limitation 2: You may retreat from the floor at any time… etc!
Limitation 3: You cannot use any class-based… etc!
Limitation 4: You can only use the power of… etc!
Provision 1: This world is a world of kindness and justice… etc!
Provision 2: You may freely use any healing items… etc!
Provision 3: You can use any and all… etc!
Provision 4: You have a team of allies and… etc!
Rewards: Score Points, 1 Gold-Tier Reward Selection.」
To avoid a cease and desist from Southpark, unfortunately, this part had to be skipped as well. Sigh.
「Congratulations on completing: Tower of Babylon Forty-Ninth Floor
Time elapsed: ???
Objectives complete: All
Assessment: EX+
Reward:
53,000 Score Points
1 Treasure Selection Reward - Peak Gold Grade」
Next, and hopefully, the last!
「The Fiftieth Floor – Divine Quest
Description: Welcome to the heart of Japan, Tokyo! This bustling city is as normal as possible on a daily basis… etc!
After beating everyone, you decided not to kill them and rather embrace them as friends with the talk-no-jutsu. Convinced by some means beyond logical comprehension, the Kaiju have suddenly decided to stop being evil and be good, and everyone is happy! Transform!
Limitation 1: There is no Worldly Energy or Mana… etc!
Limitation 2: You may retreat from the floor at any time… etc!
Limitation 3: You cannot use any class-based… etc!
Limitation 4: You can only use the power of… etc!
Provision 1: This world is a world of kindness and justice… etc!
Provision 2: You may freely use any healing items… etc!
Provision 3: You can use any and all… etc!
Provision 4: You have a team of allies and… etc!
Rewards: Score Points, 1 Gold-Tier Reward Selection.」
Draco: Animators, quickly draw an epic scene which is us having a party like in One Piece. Here is the payment; Bill to Sublime Notion, Lolitician Supreme.
Eva: ...What do you mean it will need to be split into one season with three parts over the course of multiple years...?!
「Congratulations on completing: Tower of Babylon Forty-Ninth Floor
Time elapsed: ???
Objectives complete: All
Assessment: EX+
Reward:
53,000 Score Points
1 Treasure Selection Reward - Peak Gold Grade」
Magical Girl floors… done!
Eva's review: What a fucking waste of everyone's time and money.
Draco's review: Eva, pls delete those videos with me in it.
Clarent and Qiong Qi's review: …
Dragon Ancestor's review: I wanted to do the transformation too… sigh.
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