Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

Lu Wenhao still brought up the matter of Jing Huan blocking him the next day.

They had arranged to meet at the back gate. Jing Huan went downstairs early, stood by the door, and played with his cellphone for a while until his headphones were suddenly yanked off.

"Jerk? You there?" asked Lu Wenhao.

"Didn't I apologize to you yesterday…" Jing Huan couldn't help laughing, "Why are you still mentioning it?"

"If apologies could solve all problems, what are the police for?!" Lu Wenhao shrunk his neck into his clothes. "Fuck, chatting so nicely and then suddenly getting a notification that we aren't friends anymore."

"I said I hit the wrong key," Jing Huan curled his elbow and placed it on his shoulder. "You eat well tonight, I'll pay the bill. Whatever you want to order, go ahead and order. Is my apology still not enough?"

Gao Zixiang laughed and said, "You don't know, last night, he howled so much I thought he had been blocked by his wife… Why did you come so early?"

Jing Huan casually said, "Got the time wrong."

In fact, he had been worried that Xiang Huaizhi would arrive early like he had done on Christmas night, and would wait alone all by himself.

But obviously he had overthought it.

"I'll ask Lu Ge when they'll arrive," Lu Wenhao picked up his cellphone. "If there's still some time left, we should go to the hotpot shop and wait for them there bei, it's really cold."

As soon as Lu Wenhao finished talking, they both arrived.

Jing Huan immediately saw Xiang Huaizhi. The boy was wearing a black coat and looked languid, seeming as if he had just woke up.

Xiang Huaizhi really had just woken up. After he took some cold medicine, he felt sleepy, adding on to the fact that his eyes have been pinned to his textbooks these past few days, his eyes grew tired and he slept until dinner time.

Lu Hang looked at his watch. "I thought I came late… Your dorm has such good habits ah, on time."

"Lu Ge," Jing Huan greeted him, then turned his gaze to Xiang Huaizhi and called out, "Gege."

Jing Huan's voice wasn't loud, and the people around him couldn't really hear him, but Xiang Huaizhi heard him clearly.

He raised his eyes, the drowsiness having dissipated a bit. "En."

The rest of them didn't pay attention to their simple interaction. Gao Zixiang looked at his cellphone and said, "There's just two tables ahead of us on the hot pot waiting list, when we get there, it should be just in time."

Gao Zixiang and Lu Hang walked in front, side by side. Jing Huan peeked at Xiang Huaizhi and intentionally slowed down to walk beside him.

Since he had even already confessed his feelings, there was nothing to be shy about. Xiang Huaizhi was willing to eat with him, which meant that the other party at least regarded him as a friend.

If only there wasn't an extra Lu Wenhao around, everything would be perfect.

"Huanhuan, what are your plans for winter vacation ah?" Lu Wenhao asked him indifferently.

Jing Huan breathed out white mist. "Spend Spring Festival at home."

"So boring?" Lu Wenhao said, "How about we go abroad to play a bit? It's too cold in China, Laozi can't stand it."

Jing Huan shook his head. "Not going."

In the end, Jing Huan didn't get to speak to Xiang Huaizhi until they reached the hot pot restaurant.

Gao Zixiang had reserved a table in the center with six chairs. As soon as Jing Huan arrived at the restaurant, he went to the bathroom. When he came back, there was only one seat left, which was between Gao Zixiang and Lu Wenhao, and also opposite of Lu Hang.

Xiang Huaizhi was sitting beside Lu Hang, slowly removing the plastic wrapping around the tableware.

The dishes had already been ordered along the way, and within 5 minutes of arriving at the table, the pot was already boiling.

The people at the table chatted about topics ranging from school to basketball until finally landing on games.

Lu Hang had kept the matter of being killed by them before close to his heart this whole time, but after thinking about it, he still didn't mention it. He swallowed the tripe he was eating. "By the way, have you guys recently heard about the situation with the female anchor? During her livestream half of her beauty disappeared, the bosses on her list went silent and now they're all making a fuss over getting their accounts refunded."

"Of course I know, it's been a hot topic for two or three days already," said Gao Zixiang. "It's okay. At least it's a woman."

Lu Hang listened and laughed, "What, it sounds like there's a story there?"

“I have no story,” The corner of Gao Zixiang’s mouth lifted, and he pointed to Lu Wenhao with his glass. “He has one.”

Lu Wenhao was angry to the point of amusement, and used his hand to point a middle finger at him.

Since they were all in one server, Lu Hang naturally knew that Lu Wenhao had a wife. He couldn’t help asking, “Is your wife a man??”

"Former wife," Lu Wenhao had been stabbed too many times and was already numb to this topic. "Rest assured, this time I verified with video. She is indeed a girl, cute, likes to pester people, and likes to tie her hair in pigtails."

Gao Zixiang snorted. "What if, during your winter vacation meetup, she lifts up her skirt, and she turns out to be bigger than you…"

"Then, we'll all perish together," Lu Wenhao looked at him with a sneer. "I'll grab you along the way."

Lu Hang wasn't done having fun and unconsciously poked at the person next to him. "Xiangxiang, what if Jing… Your wife turned out to be bigger than you, what would you do?"

Jing Huan's chewing motion became sluggish as he nearly choked.

He hurriedly swallowed what was in his mouth, took a big swig of boiled water, and then raised his eyes to look at the person being asked this question.

Jing Huan's movements were all seen by Xiang Huaizhi from the corner of his eyes. Xiang Huaizhi looked away tracelessly when the boy put the water glass down and looked up.

"Not possible." Xiang Huaizhi said.

Lu Hang asked, "How would you know it's not possible? Or, did you two have a video call?"

Xiang Huaizhi picked up a shrimp with very natural movements. "I meant, can't be bigger than me."

"Cough, cough—" Jing Huan couldn't keep his face straight and coughed until his face was red..

Fuck.

Xiang Huaizhi could even make dirty jokes…

The other people at the table were also stunned. At last, Lu Wenhao came back to his senses, gave a thumbs up and sincerely said, "Awesome, Xiang Ge. Confident men are the best. But, didn't you stop playing games? Where did this wife appear from?"

Xiang Huaizhi replied, "Just bought an account, went back to enjoy a retirement there."

Lu Wenhao let out an "oh" and smiled, "Then, why didn't you say so earlier ah, come to our server and have fun with us ah. I'll cover you!"

Jing Huan thought that Lu Wenhao should stop making a fool of himself by showing off in front of an expert.

He cleared his throat. "Let's get something to drink ba?"

His original intention was to order some sour plum juice, but Gao Zixiang raised his hand and called for some alcohol.

Jing Huan wanted to interrupt their conversation, but the table was full of veteran NCH players. Talking about it was like talking about family matters; once it started, it was hard to stop.

"Xiang Ge unexpectedly also has an online relationship," Gao Zixiang was surprised. "I thought only Hao'er would do something like that…"

"Fuck you," Lu Wenhao cursed him, then picked up a glass of iced beer and put it in front of Jing Huan.

"It's his first time, I can only blame that little Meimei for being too charming." Lu Hang joked, "You guys don't know what Xiangxiang has become like after being charmed by her…"

Jing Huan ate without being able to taste much. He glanced at Xiang Huaizhi again. The other party lowered his head to eat, but actually didn't look like he wanted to stop this topic of conversation.

Lu Wenhao asked, "What's he like ah?"

"Helping her vent by killing people, taking her to do dailies and fight in the arena, and giving her a bunch of small gifts. Anyway, anything you can think of, he's done it." Lu Hang drank two mouthfuls of alcohol, and his speech became more slurred. "It's so tiresome to the point that… I even suspect that they've already arranged to meet face-to-face in private."

Xiang Huaizhi also didn't understand why he had let Lu Hang continue talking.

He looked like he didn't care, but in fact, he had been watching the reaction of the person opposite him this entire time. Jing Huan's face kept going from red to white, and Xiang Huaizhi didn't know what he was thinking.

"No such plans." After a while, Xiang Huaizhi said, "If you want to eat, then eat. Don't talk about me."

Hearing this, Jing Huan's constant rapid heartbeat once again slowed down..

The topic finally ended, and the people at the table talked about NCH's newest patch that was launching next week..

Jing Huan held his chopsticks and suddenly felt exhausted.

He licked his lips, grabbed the iced beer in front of him, and suddenly gulped it down.

Later, whatever the people talked about at the table, Jing Huan didn't listen to it.

He wasn't sure of how many cups he drank, but Xiang Huaizhi finally looked at him. "Don't drink anymore."

"Don't worry," he said, not raising his head. "Didn't drink that much."

Everyone chatted so much that they didn't notice until the end of the meeting, that Jing Huan was sitting with his hands in his pockets, his face red from drinks with his eyes almost closed.

Gao Zixiang rattled his shoulder a few times, and seeing him in this dazed state, looked up and said, "What did you give him so much alcohol for, don't you know that he's a lightweight ah?"

"I neglected it while chatting. He asked me for drinks so I gave it to him…" Lu Wenhao asked, "Huanhuan? Can you stand up?"

Jing Huan opened his eyes, looked at them, and then looked at the table. "Finished eating?"

He was really drunk.

"En," Lu Wenhao helped him up. "I'll take you back. What's your apartment's keycode?"

The group of people exited the hot pot shop. The cold blowing wind dried up some of the beer's warmth.

"Can you carry him by yourself?" Lu Hang asked, "Do you want help?"

Lu Wenhao said with a smile, "Are you joking, I'm also a man who weighs nearly 200 jin…"

Before he finished speaking, the person next to him suddenly moved.

Jing Huan stood up straight and moved two steps forward—in front of Xiang Huaizhi.

Then, he moved his hand to ruffle his hair a bit before raising his head to ask, "Gege, can you send me back?"

-

At first, Xiang Huaizhi thought that Jing Huan was pretending to be drunk.

But clearly, he was overthinking things. People with poor alcohol tolerance didn't have the skill to pretend to be drunk. After Jing Huan asked that, he leaned forward, propped against Xiang Huaizhi's shoulder and closed his eyes.

When they finally got to the apartment, Xiang Huaizhi used a bit of strength and managed to get the other person into the elevator.

The elevator door closed, and their figures were reflected in the door.

As he thought of Jing Huan calling him Gege just before, Xiang Huaizhi's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. He raised his hand to press the button for the floor.

Jing Huan was as quiet as before he was drunk. In fact, he hadn't fallen asleep, he just didn't speak. When they got to his apartment door, he could accurately tell the keycode to Xiang Huaizhi.

After putting the person on the sofa, Xiang Huaizhi poured a glass of warm water for him.

"Didn't I say to not drink anymore?" He asked.

Jing Huan held the water and didn't answer.

Xiang Huaizhi didn't plan to lecture the drunk either. He helped Jing Huan untie his scarf and put it on the sofa. He turned around and was about to leave when his coat was gently pulled.

"Are you short of boosters?" Jing Huan suddenly asked.

Xiang Huaizhi lowered his eyes. "What?"

"It's just that I haven't played in a long time. In fact, I'm really good at farming experience points. I can also help you farm cultivation points and summoning beasts… Anything a booster can do, I can also do." Jing Huan's voice was a bit hoarse. "So, can we not divorce? The couple title can be considered the booster fee."

Xiang Huaizhi was a little startled.

Without waiting for his reaction, Jing Huan murmured, "What will it take for you to not be mad anymore ah…?"

Xiang Huaizhi quietly looked at him.

Jing Huan seemed to be talking to him, but also talking to himself. He didn't make a sound after asking this question.

After a long time, Xiang Huaizhi pried his hand off and went to the bathroom to soak a towel in hot water.

Jing Huan's whisper from a moment ago kept going through his mind. He looked down and thought, was he still angry?

This wasn't the first time he had been cheated in the game.

Several years ago, his sworn brother had cheated people out of a lot of money using his name. At that time, he wasn't very angry, but he had just thought that these relationships weren't worth it.

The game was good, and the people were fine, but none of them were worth spending his effort.

But this time it was different.

Xiang Huaizhi had only ever cared about PKing in game; he hadn't placed much importance on the rest.

But after they had separated, he had hidden their couple title, turned off the coordinate display, and changed his personal data.

He had changed his profile's personal data to "Just be happy" because he had cared.

And he had also removed that from his personal data because he had cared.

The sound of a cellphone falling to the ground outside interrupted Xiang Huaizhi's thoughts. He wrung the towel and went back to the living room.

"Look up. I'm going to wipe your face," He said this as he went to Jing Huan's side.

Jing Huan obediently looked up.

Afraid of hurting him, Xiang Huaizhi's movements were very light, and he gently pressed one hand against his head to make it easier.

"Gege," Jing Huan's voice came out through the towel, a little muffled, "I returned the money to you for the equipment."

"En," Xiang Huaizhi responded.

"Then, when are you going to pay back what you owe me?"

"What do I owe you?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Jing Huan slowly raised his hand and spread out his fingers. "You kissed me twice."

Xiang Huaizhi's movements paused. "…"

"And both without my consent," Jing Huan looked up at him.

Xiang Huaizhi was silent, flipping the towel around. "En, how to return that? Return with money or with equipment…"

Before he had finished speaking, his wrist was caught.

Jing Huan's eyes were moist, and he had an inexplicably stubborn look in them.

Jing Huan was drunk and couldn't steadily stand, so he pulled Xiang Huaizhi's wrist to forcefully get up, and then kissed Xiang Huaizhi's chin.

Xiang Huaizhi only felt the heat on his chin. The boy's tongue was warm and blazing, gently and cautiously licking his chin.

Jing Huan fell back down on the sofa and said, "There's still one left."

—

Due to meeting another ko-fi goal, we have released another chapter early!

Juurensha: Ohhhh Huanhuan you minx, get it.

Divi: LMAO. Should've just asked for more than a chin kiss Huanhuan… !

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