Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

As soon as Jing Huan sent out these two messages, he kind of regretted it.

After all, it was just a kid in a game. Him sending several messages like this in succession… Wasn't this making a mountain out of a molehill?

He had just wanted to send another picture, but the system reminded him that his child was about to be born and told him to immediately go home and wait.

The meaning was that, besides his house, he couldn't go anywhere else right now.

Jing Huan had never been exposed to the parenting system before. During this period of time, he had checked the parenting guides for children back and forth, but never studied how the children were actually born.

When he got home, the servant and housekeeper stood by the door, motionless.

Thinking of the funny special effects of the marital bed, Jing Huan raised his eyebrows and hoped that this stupid game wouldn't once again play some meaningless animations…

After waiting for a while, there was no movement. He afked at the entrance of the house, picked up his cellphone, and looked at it. The other party still hadn't replied.

Oh, Xiang Huaizhi seemed to have class all day today.

Jing Huan hesitated and pressed his other message, but it had already been two minutes, so he couldn't recall it anymore.

Xiao Jing ya: I just wanted to tell you.

Xiao Jing ya: You stay in class ba.

A few minutes later, there was still no reply.

Jing Huan looked down at his cellphone for the seventh time, and finally, he couldn't help clicking his tongue.

Even if it was a small thing, you should still give me some reply, good or bad.

At this time, his friends' notifications flashed.

[Friend] Qiufeng: Xiao Jingjing. [call me]

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: No time.

[Friend] Qiufeng: ….

[Friend] Qiufeng: I see that you're at home ah. It's nothing more than just wanting to ask you to do a two-star instance.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Really no time, busy giving birth.

[Friend] Qiufeng: Ohhh, can I come around and see?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: ??? Have you become abnormal?

[Friend] Qiufeng: Pfft, it's not like it's a real childbirth. I'm just a bit curious.

Jing Huan paused.

That was true, no matter how idiotic NCH was, they couldn't actually put out a childbirth animation. Why was he taking this so seriously?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Up to you.

At the end of this sentence, he manipulated the little fox fairy to the middle of the small house. Her fox tail wrapped around her, and she enchantingly sat down.

[Your husband Yearning For has entered the game. ]

?

Jing Huan's finger shook, and he saw the little fox fairy stand up from the ground, brush off her tail, and walk to the area he had accidentally pressed.

Within 20 seconds, the man in black robes appeared at the door of his home with a dark sword.

Xiang Huaizhi's voice was cool and there was a slight breathiness in it.

"I just went to class," he said, "And you went and brought another man home?"

???

Before Jing Huan could understand what was going on, his friends' notification flashed.

[Friend] Qiufeng: Fuck ah, as soon as I got to your house, I collided with God Xiang!!! He killed me without saying a word!!!! I'm going first ah, Xiao Jingjing, good luck giving birth!!

"…"

Good luck my ass.

Was this a matter where luck could help Laozi???

Jing Huan asked, "Don't you have a class?"

"Skipping." Xiang Huaizhi said concisely, "Where's the child?"

Near the end of the term, everyone wanted to leave a favorable impression with the professors, but Xiang Huaizhi skipped class because of an in-game child?

While Jing Huan was speechless, he also wanted to laugh.

He said, "I don't know, maybe it's still in my stomach."

Xiang Huaizhi was silent for a while and then said, "Oh."

"Qiufeng said that he hadn't seen what childbirth in NCH was like, so I wanted to give him a new experience."

Jing Huan finished talking but then suddenly felt that what he said was wrong.

He was a man, Qiufeng was also a man, what was there to explain….?

"Then, if he said that he'd never been married in NCH before," Xiang Huaizhi asked, "Would you also help him experience it?"

Jing Huan was stunned for a while, and only managed to respond after a while, "Are you… jealous?"

The microphone next to Yearning For's name lit up for a while, but he didn't speak.

It was only when Jing Huan thought he wouldn't get an answer, that Xiang Huaizhi suddenly said, "A little bit."

A little bit what?

A little bit jealous?

Jing Huan pursed his lips, and the corners of his mouth rose uncontrollably. “Oh&#k2026; Then I’ll have less contact with him in the future.”

“No need,” Xiang Huaizhi said. “I can just kill him.”

Jing Huan had nothing to say to that. “That’s you behaving like a server bully.”

"En." Xiang Huaizhi said frankly, "I've experienced it just now, it doesn't feel too bad."

Jing Huan: "…"

He had still wanted to say something when a dialog box popped up——

[Servant: Congratulations, madam! You have given birth to a healthy baby! ]

Jing Huan was stunned and said, "Gave birth."

"Where is it?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

"I don't know…"

The two of them searched the whole house, but they still couldn't find the child.

Jing Huan also asked the game assistant, but his question didn't seem to trigger any keywords, and the game assistant couldn't give an answer.

"Broken game…" Jing Huan couldn't help but curse, "I'll go to Baidu."

[Megaphone] Yearning For: Where do newly born babies go?

Jing Huan: "???"

Others reacted the same way as Jing Huan.

[World] Fallen Leaves: ?

[World] Melon Eating Lover Girl: I was just eating melons in the WeChat group, and then when I looked again, Xiao Tianjing was actually giving birth to a baby. Wishing the mother can depend on her child for riches and return to normal soon. [covers mouth and laughs]

[World] Qiufeng: Should be on Jingjing's side, remember to get her to click on the child and talk to it. You can get two red eggs!

[World] Xiao Tianjing: Why do you clearly know all of this??? Didn't you say you'd never seen anyone give birth before??

[World] Qiufeng: Not the original person.

Jing Huan rolled his eyes. After searching his entire interface, he found the baby under the summoning beast interface.

The little girl had a big head and a small body, two long pigtails on top of her red hair, her eyes narrowed into a slit with a small flame in her hand.

Sure enough, she was of the demon race.

"I found it," Jing Huan paused. "It's ugly."

Xiang Huaizhi said, "Summon her and let's see."

Jing Huan summoned the child.

[Little demon: Ouch—what kind of condition have you dared to birth me into! [little devil] Watch me burn up this little broken house with one fireball!]

Jing Huan: "?"

Who wrote such a bad line? Stand up, I promise I won't hit your face.

Feeling that his small house had been denigrated once again, Jing Huan forced himself to smile. "Maybe we should just toss her ba."

"Don't toss her." Xiang Huaizhi moved his fingers and bought his new daughter a 300 silver dollar apparel—a pink dudou.

Jing Huan was struck dumb with astonishment. "This is unnecessary ba, very ugly."

"Don't you think," Xiang Huaizhi asked, "she looks a little like you?"

"?" Jing Huan angrily laughed, "Ge… Are you taking the opportunity to curse me out?"

Xiang Huaizhi also laughed. He moved his fingers and bought all the different kinds of dudou.

The facial features were different, but the two pigtails looked like the two clumps of hair that had been sticking up on Jing Huan's head the other day.

"What should we name her?" After a while, Xiang Huaizhi asked.

"Xiao Xiangjing ah." Jing Huan said, "Wasn't it written on the plan?"

Xiang Huaizhi slowly came to a halt. "I just randomly scribbled that. You can come up with something else if you want."

Jing Huan said, "Why come up with something else? This is very good, simple and rough. One look, and you know she's our daughter."

After coming up with the name, and putting new clothes on her, the two novice dads took Xiao Xiangjing to the Fairy Fox Cave to pay her respects to her shifu.

Then the question came up.

The child could only follow one person.

"Have her follow me ba." Xiang Huaizhi said.

Jing Huan was stunned. The core skill of a Fairy Fox Cave child was to heal. He had originally intended to let Xiang Huaizhi take her along, but he hadn't expected the other party to take the initiative to speak.

On that day, many players in Illusion server discovered that the God Xiang who didn't even like using his super rare mount, led his squinting daughter all day long to visit nearly all the maps in NCH.

-

During the weekend, Jing Huan and Lu Wenhao went to the library.

"Ugh, this is the perfect weather to sleep in," Lu Wenhao said. "If I wasn't afraid of failing, I would just lie in bed for three days and nights."

Jing Huan yawned and silently bowed his head to read his textbook, ignoring him.

His cellphone vibrated, and he took it out to take a look.

Xiang: Where are you sitting?

Xiao Jing ya: What?

Xiang: [initiated location sharing]

Jing Huan subconsciously opened it and looked at it closely. He found that the distance between him and Xiang Huaizhi was—infinitesimal.

He was just about to take a closer look when the other person's profile picture vanished from the interface.

Jing Huan held his cellphone and started texting. Before one sentence could be finished, another book appeared beside him.

Then, the back of his head was lightly teased.

Xiang Huaizhi's action was very natural, so natural to the point that it made people feel that it was simply just a physical touch between friends.

Lu Wenhao was also stunned. He looked up and asked, "Lu Ge, Xiang Ge… Why did you two come to the library?"

Lu Hang sat beside Lu Wenhao and pointed to the person opposite him. "Being in the dorms by myself is boring, so I came out with him."

When Xiang Huaizhi sat down, Jing Huan heard a slight scraping noise—Xiang Huaizhi had moved his chair closer to him without the slightest change in expression.

Smelling the scent of Xiang Huaizhi's laundry detergent, Jing Huan's sleepiness instantly disappeared.

"Studying?" Xiang Huaizhi's eyes became half-lidded, sweeping a glance over the book in Jing Huan's hand.

Jing Huan snapped out of it and muttered, "En, it's so hard to memorize."

It looked like he was tortured to the point of needing to swear.

But nothing can be done, university exams were just like that. You just need to desperately study and memorize all the professors' indicated key points.

Xiang Huaizhi let out an "en" sound, "Study well, don't fail."

Jing Huan thought, with you this close, how am I supposed to study well?

At first, Jing Huan thought that Xiang Huaizhi had come to the library just to find him.

Soon, he knew that he had been being too self-centered.

He didn't know how many times he had turned his head to look at the person next to him.

Xiang Huaizhi was wearing earphones and reading with his head slightly down. Looking from the side, the line of the boy's jaw was tight and smooth, and his long pale neck was even more outstanding.

He was really handsome.

It was just that he looked cold and uncaring to others.

Jing Huan looked away and felt that he himself was also awfully troublesome. He had been afraid the last few times, fearing that Xiang Huaizhi would mess around and expose him in front of their roommates. However, when Xiang Huaizhi really ignored him, his heart itched.

He held his book up and was lost in speculation, not managing to read anything at all.

Suddenly, his knee was lightly bumped.

Jing Huan was stunned. Before he could react, his thigh was pressed against the person next to him.

They were both wearing jeans, so it was a bit hard to touch, and he didn't feel anything other than the fabric. Yet, Jing Huan's heart settled down at this moment.

The four of them stayed in the library until dinner time, and naturally began discussing getting a meal together.

After a day of studying, Jing Huan was exhausted. As soon as the dishes were served, he lowered his head and just focused on replenishing his energy. Xiang Huaizhi also didn't say much, but Lu Wenhao and Lu Hang had a good chat.

After eating, Jing Huan leaned back, lazily leaning on the stone wall of the restaurant and listened to them chat, laughing occasionally.

They were just talking about this year's winter vacation plans, when his cellphone suddenly vibrated.

Jiejie: Huanhuan, when are you done with exams?

Jing Huan's eyes brightened, and he sat up straight and replied.

Xiao Jing ya: Not until January!! [pounds on table]

Jiejie: [snickering]

Jiejie: Why are you chatting so cutely recently? Do you have a girlfriend now?

Jing Huan's heart jumped, and because he was afraid of being found out, his texts just flew out.

Xiao Jing ya: No, how is that possible?

Jiejie: Since the exams are so late, don't you have to spend Christmas and New Year's day at school?

Xiao Jing ya: Yeah. Why does it matter? Are you coming back to China?

Jiejie: En, coming back to spend New Year's in China. [shy]

Xiao Jing ya: [scattering flowers] Then I'll see you then.

Jiejie: What do you want for Christmas?

Jiejie: I'll gift you it then~~

Xiao Jing ya: I'm not a kid anymore, why would I still want Christmas presents ah.

The two cousins hadn't talked for a while, so once they started, they couldn't stop. After dinner and all the way until they got to the back gate of the school, Jing Huan was still chatting with Liang Ran on his cellphone.

"Then I'll head back first. Huanhuan, will you still be mired in the library tomorrow?" Lu Wenhao asked, "Who were you chatting with, it's been nearly half a day."

"My Jie." said Jing Huan, "No, I have something to do tomorrow. You can go there by yourself."

Hearing his answer, Xiang Huaizhi's eyebrows unfurrowed a bit.

Lu Hang said, "Then, Xiangxiang and I will also go…"

"Go back on your own," Xiang Huaizhi said. "I have to go buy some stuff."

Jing Huan heard him, and his eyelids lightly twitched. After replying to the last message, he placed his cellphone back into his pocket.

After the two people left, he asked, "What are you going to buy? I'll accompany you."

Xiang Huaizhi glanced at him lightly, but didn't answer the question. "Hold hands for a bit?"

With just this short sentence, Jing Huan's heart sped up.

It hadn't snowed today, but the snow from before was still there. Pedestrians were only looking at the road under their feet in order to avoid falling. They didn't care about the other people around them at all.

The two boys walked on the road side by side, under the heavy coat sleeves their ten fingers were intertwined.

This was the first time that Jing Huan had been led by someone other than his parents.

And it was being led around this way…

He buried his face in the scarf, only to feel the heat around him surging. It was too easy to let this "liking someone" get to his head.

Unfortunately, it was only a two minute walk from the back gate to the apartment. Jing Huan felt like he hadn't even warmed up Xiang Huaizhi's hand yet before they had arrived.

"Go up ba." Xiang Huaizhi took his hand back and put it in his coat pocket.

Jing Huan had stood still as he said, "Oh."

After a while, he said, "In fact, I'm not very sleepy yet. I'll keep you company while you shop ba."

Xiang Huaizhi looked at him for a long time before letting out a very deep laugh, "I don't need to buy anything."

Oh.

Then he had purely just wanted to send him home.

Jing Huan swallowed and suddenly wanted to invite Xiang Huaizhi up to sit for a little while.

But when the words reached his lips, he pushed them back down.

Before, when he hadn't figured things out, he didn't really think too much when inviting Xiang Huaizhi upstairs. It was just like inviting some friends up for fun.

But now it was different. He and Xiang Huaizhi had kissed twice. In this case, being alone together in the same room…

Just thinking about it for a bit made Jing Huan's mouth feel dry.

"What are you thinking about?" Xiang Huaizhi said, "Your ears are red."

"Nothing… I was just wondering what to do if I fail my exams." Jing Huan said, "My mother is very fierce."

Xiang Huaizhi laughed a little, "Can't tell."

Jing Huan said, "That's because she hides it well. When I was in high school, she was like a shrew. No playing on the computer, no smoking or fighting, no dating…"

"You go to college now." Xiang Huaizhi suddenly interrupted him.

Jing Huan was stunned. "Ah?"

"Does auntie still care about you dating?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Jing Huan blinked his eyelashes and looked at Xiang Huaizhi for a moment. Then he whispered, "Probably… not ba."

Xiang Huaizhi's eyes went half-lidded, and his eyes seemed to carry the hint of a smile.

Jing Huan's expression was natural, but in fact, his heart seemed to have leaped up into his throat, and it kept going pitter-patter.

He felt that Xiang Huaizhi was going to kiss him again.

Jing Huan secretly congratulated himself for chewing some gum after dinner.

After a long time, Xiang Huaizhi reached out—and rubbed his hair. "Go up ba, I'm heading back."

"…" Jing Huan stared down at the tip of his nose.

"Go to bed early," Xiang Huaizhi said.

Jing Huan suddenly recollected himself. He stared at the person in front of him for a long time, then squeezed out a sentence, "You too."

Back home, Jing Huan stood at the entrance and didn't move for a long time.

Somehow, he felt like he was suspended in mid-air at the moment yet wasn't falling, it was a bit uncomfortable.

He thought about it again and again, but the only thing he could come up with, was that the atmosphere had been just right for a kiss, it just hadn't been the right time.

For a moment, he had even wanted to draw close to Xiang Huaizhi's face and take a bite—but he had held back.

Right now, he didn't seem to be in any position to go kiss Xiang Huaizhi.

There were no promises between them, no confessions, and the stuff in-game couldn't be counted. In the end, even if they had carelessly kissed several times, things still weren't clear.

After some time, Jing Huan finally started to move.

He turned on his cellphone and typed a line——

Xiao Jing ya: Gege, can we meet during Christmas?

—

Juurensha: Xiao Xiangjing is hilariously a brat, and good on Jing Huan for wanting to clear things up as soon as he figured out his own feelings! Very mature!

Divi: Jing Huan, you guys are going to be in a world of hurt after you clear things up—but it has to be done! Always clear up misunderstandings yourself. Rooting for you!

Fanart of Xiao Xiangjing by Asami!

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