Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus and Rega

By the time Jing Huan got home, it was already afternoon.

He put away the carbonated drinks and fruit he had bought along the way into the refrigerator and turned on his computer.

He had been with Lu Wenhao and them for several days now, so nearly none of this week's instances had been done. He opened his friend list and looked at it. Neither Yearning For nor Long Road Ahead were online, so instead of just idling around like a laggard, he should just find a pug group to run the missing instances with.

He clicked on the instance interface, applied to several teams randomly, and after just a few seconds, a system prompt popped up. A team had accepted him.

He ran to the entrance of the dungeon and waited for his teammates.

[Qiufeng invites you to join his team. Yes, No. ]

Jing Huan instinctively pressed no. However, after the dialogue box disappeared, he found that Qiufeng was now standing beside him.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: [Question]

[Current] Qiufeng: Let's do the instance ya.

Jing Huan was stunned and opened the quest list. Indeed, Qiufeng was already in the instance.

He really hadn't looked carefully at all the details of the instance just now. Then, he realized that all the people participating in this instance were from their guild. Even the instance originator was Don't Ask When I'll Return.

Qiufeng sent him another invitation to join the team. Jing Huan slowly agreed and finally joined Qiufeng's team.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Didn't you do this instance yesterday? 0.0

"You didn't come, so I didn't do it." Qiufeng asked, "Can you talk right now?"

He could, but Jing Huan was too lazy to wear earphones at the moment. During this period, he had worn headphones for several hours every day, and his ears hurt.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: No ah, there's people around, and it's not convenient.

Qiufeng understood. "It's okay, you can just type then."

Qiufeng's voice was actually very pleasant. It was deep and magnetic in a way that girls liked.

Unfortunately, Jing Huan was a man. Not only was it not to his taste, he even found Qiufeng noisy and mercilessly turned down the volume of his computer.

Chaos in Heaven was a low level instance. It was simple and easy to pass, and it didn't give much experience. Jing Huan planned to afk as soon as he entered the palace, and it would probably only take about half an hour.

However, Qiufeng obviously had different plans. As soon as they entered the instance, Qiufeng had been constantly talking to him.

"Xiao Jingjing, what are you going to do after clearing this instance?"

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: …Afk.

"You spent tens of thousands of yuan to buy this account just to afk?" Qiufeng laughed. "After clearing this, I'll take you out to play."

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Play what?

"Admiring scenery, doing quests, doing instances, whatever you want to do is fine," Qiufeng said, "or I could take you to open some Opportunity Stones?"

The Opportunity Stone, a special item of NCH, was similar to a lottery.

It cost 20 yuan for one, and there were a variety of things in them, good and bad, but most of them bad. In their excitement, many players directly bought hundreds of them, became addicted, and then lost a lot of money.

Jing Huan had already once played this game and had vowed to never touch an Opportunity Stone again in this life.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: [shakes head] No!

"Why?" Qiufeng said, "I'll pay for you to play, and after 100 of them, you'll definitely be addicted to it."

[Team] Don't Ask When I'll Return: [thumbs up]

[Team] Peachy Fate: [thumbs up] Atmospheric.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: > . < Really, let's not. I don't like playing with the Opportunity Stones. It's just like handing over money to the GM.

Qiufeng: "That…"

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Ah! Some stuff just suddenly came up, can I just afk now?

[Team] Don't Ask When I'll Return: It's okay, you go ba…

Don’t Ask When I’ll Return had just typed this sentence, when three more letters hung over Xiao Tianjing’s head&#k2014; “AFK”.

Qiufeng: “&#k2026;”

“&#k2026;”

*

After returning to the dormitory, Xiang Huaizhi slept for a full six hours.

When he woke up, it was dark. He picked up his cellphone and checked the time and also happened to see a WeChat notification.

Xiao Jing ya: Senior, let's pick a time to meet up and play basketball.

Xiang Huaizhi was stunned at first and then remembered that he had logged into a side account and changed it so that it had the same personal data as his main account.

His main account was stolen before, and it took him a long time to get it back. This side account was created during that time, and he only used it to contact his tutor and family. After he got his main account back, it was no longer used.

Xiang Huaizhi replied with an "okay," before switching back to his main account.

His cellphone lightly vibrated, and the same WeChat avatar appeared at the top of his screen

Xiao Jing ya: Gege! You're under arrest!

That was from four hours ago.

Xiang: ?

"Typing" showed up at the top of his screen..

Xiao Jing ya: The charge is heart~stealing~criminal~thief~

Xiao Jing ya: o（///v///）o

Xiang: …

Xiao Jing ya: Gege replied to me so late T.T

Xiao Jing ya: Gege really did find a new meimei in the mountains 🙁

Xiang: Just woke up.

Xiao Jing ya: [pig head] So lazy!

…And whose fault was that.

Thinking of his miserable sleep last night, Xiang Huaizhi couldn't help rubbing his temples.

If it wasn't for all the evidence, he still wouldn't believe that all these words were typed by Jing Huan.

Although this underclassman's personality was not bad, besides when he was drunk, he really couldn't be called "soft and cute".

Xiao Jing ya: Is Gege playing in the arena today, or do you want to keep sleeping? [sways ankle]

Xiang: Do you want to go fight?

Xiao Jing ya: I'm fine either ways… If Gege doesn't come, I'll do a few 1v1 matches.

Xiang: I see. Wait for me.

Xiang Huaizhi got out of bed to wash up. Lu Hang turned around to look at him and tapped the keyboard by his hands. "Awake? You can really sleep. If I didn't know better, I would think you were up all night last night. "

"…" Xiang Huaizhi glanced at his computer screen and asked, "Have you started the God of War quest?"

The process of creating a divine artifact was to collect materials—do the God of War Quest—then challenge the God of War.

The God of War quest had 99 levels in total, all of which must be completed within one week. Its difficulty was no joke.

"Yes, a big merchant just came by. He sold me a lot of materials, and I finally got everything together." Lu Hang said excitedly, "Hurry up, how do we arrange the team? What sects do we need? Tell me, and I'll go find someone."

"The four of us." Xiang Huaizhi casually said, "Then call a warlock or a mage."

Lu Hang nodded. "Okay, I won't be doing instances with you guys for the next few days. First, I will concentrate on running quests."

After he finished washing up,, Xiang Huaizhi turned on his computer and saw the small fox fairy standing beside him, as always, and this time she was dancing.

Xiang Huaizhi set up a team, tentatively invited him, and a few seconds later, the small fox fairy jumped into the team.

"Gege," said the familiar voice in his earphones, greeting him gently and cleverly, "Good evening~"

Xiang Huaizhi was really curious. How did he make his voice sound like that? Did NCH actually also have a voice changer?

No, Jing Huan had even left him a voice message in WeChat.

Xiang Huaizhi logged into his WeChat, dug out the voice message, clicked on it, and listened to it again.

"Gege, I just went to soak in the hot spring. You have to remember to have dinner on time, m~~ua~~"

The voice was exactly the same as the one he heard on the computer, but Xiang Huaizhi instantly felt it sounded a little more meng.

Lu Hang had gotten up and gone to the wardrobe to get his clothes, walking in on this scene.

His eyes narrowed, and his expression was complicated. "…Xiangxiang, I didn't expect you to be such a person. Is kissing nice to listen to? "

Xiang Huaizhi, wearing only one earphone, exited WeChat. "It's not what you think."

"Oh, I know, I understand everything." Lu Hang said, "I wouldn't be able to stand it either if someone around me acts so coquettish to me every day. We're all men, I get you."

Xiang Huaizhi gave up on communicating with him. "Scram."

Jing Huan hadn't gotten a response. After confirming that his microphone wasn't having any issues, he called out again, "Gege?"

[Team] Yearning For: Here.

Jing Huan asked, "Gege can't talk?"

[Team] Yearning For: En, my roommate is here.

"Okay." Jing Huan's little fox fairy twirled around him. "The arena won't open for another two hours. Have you done all your dailies, Gege?"

After sleeping for a whole day, Xiang Huaizhi naturally hadn't done them.

"Then you can take me to do them ba," Jing Huan said, "Okay?"

Xiang Huaizhi didn't respond and just directly led him to do the tasks.

On the way to the NPC, he couldn't help looking at the little fox fairy behind him.

After carefully observing for awhile, he confirmed two things.

First, the underclassman had no idea he was Yearning For.

Second, the underclassman liked men.

Xiang Huaizhi wasn't gay, but he respected other people's sexuality. Maybe Jing Huan didn't want to disclose his own situation to other people in reality, so he settled his feelings on a game character in line with his fantasy.

Unfortunately, the game character was him.

Xiang Huaizhi hesitated for a moment, then began typing.

[Team] Yearning For: Xiao Tianjing.

Jing Huan was playing a round of Boxing King. He had just knocked the muscle man to the ground and was about to KO him when he saw the dialogue box and went back to NCH.

"What's the matter, Gege?"

[Team] Yearning For: What do you like about me?

The question basically came out of nowhere, and Jing Huan couldn't even respond at first.

Shit, the next few words from this man couldn't be, "I'll change those" ba?!

Jing Huan thought about it for a long time, and Yearning For was also very patient and didn't pressure him for an answer.

"Like," Jing Huan said haltingly, "I like the way you talk, I like listening to your voice, I like your character, I like the way you fight, I like…"

Did he miss anything?

Jing Huan licked his lips. "Everything about Gege, I really like it all!"

Perfect!

□ □ Seamless!

Xiang Huaizhi choked. He really shouldn't have asked.

Seeing Yearning For not respond, Jing Huan thought he was still not satisfied. "Every word that Gege has typed…"

[Team] Yearning For: …

[Team] Yearning For: I get it, don't say anymore.

Jing Huan sighed.

It's so hard. It's too hard chasing people, and I even ran into a narcissist, and I have to list out all his good points for him.

After finishing the dailies, there was still an hour left before the arena opened.

Xiang Huaizhi, in the end, called up Love is For You To Eat to go do an instance first.

Love is For You To Eat couldn't help chatting with Xiao Tianjing as soon as she entered the team.

[Team] Love is For You To Eat: Jingjing, were the hot springs really niiice!

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: So niiiiice~ [rubs belly]

[Team] Love is For You To Eat: Who did you go with ah? Did you have an affair?

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Some friends and seniors.

[Team] Love is For You To Eat: !! Senior!

[Team]Love is For You To Eat: Handsome?!

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Handsome!

[Team] Love is For You To Eat: Shit, so was there any progress? Did you get their WeChat? Did you wear a bikini?

[Team] Xiao Tianjing:…

Xiang Huaizhi, seeing this series of ellipsis, thought of the boy's embarrassed expression, and the corner of his mouth unconsciously quirked up.

Where'd the bikini come from?

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: No, no, no!

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Really, they're not that handsome. Compared to Gege, they're just the mud on the ground!!

Xiang Huaizhi: "…"

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Besides, how can I add the WeChat of other men?! I'm very single-minded, okay? I already have someone I like! Right here →→→!!

Standing on his right side, Senior Xiang, who had added him on WeChat just a few days ago: "…"

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: A bikini is completely out of the question! I'm not that open of a person! My legs are only for Gege to look at!! >.<

"…"

Fine, in a sense, this sentence counted as true, Xiang Huaizhi thought expressionlessly.

—

Juurensha: Hahaha, at some point, XHZ is definitely quoting back that line about Huanhuan's legs.

Divi: How many pits did Huanhuan dig? So many??