Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Panda Novel

Sixth Elder was grinning from ear to ear.

He had achieved a major victory in spite of his failure to kill Chen Jingzhou, and had even gained some understanding towards ‘blade will’. Moreover, Pain Star’s successful assault over Lingzhou City would be a tremendous feat.

Beside him, Brave Star, one of the thirty-six Decans had whipped out a satellite phone, and had found Pain Star’s number from his booklet, and dialed it hopefully.

Even before the call got through, he put it on loudspeaker, holding it up with both hands in front of Sixth Elder.

[Sorry, the number you have dialed cannot be reached at the moment.]

[Sorry, …]

Brave Star’s expression changed, but he forced a smile, saying, “Patience, Sixth Elder, perhaps Pain Star might be busy at the moment. I’ll call Earthen Majesty and the others instead.”

With that, he dialed the number of the Earthen Majesty Heavenly General.

[Sorry, …]

Brave Star’s smile stiffened when he heard the machine voice once again, and that continued even after he dialed Earthen Diction and Earthen Savage’s numbers.

Meanwhile, there was now a dark look on Sixth Elder’s face. Clenching his teeth, he growled, “Call the other groups. Right now.”

They were unaware that the Pain Star and her escort’s satellite phones were crushed by Jiang He when he had found them on their bodies.

There was no point in keeping those toys anyway.

The Martial Arts Department (MAD) would not find out anything with the encryption and self-destructive sequence installed into the phone, and it would be better to just destroy them straightaway.

***

Jinyintan Village.

On the east side of the village, Cheng Dongfeng was drawing deep breaths and had finally calmed down.

Still, he was very curious and could not help asking, “Jiang He, you’ve killed three more Fiends and another Decan? As a rank-five… I mean, a rank-six, how did you do that?”

“How?”

Jiang He mused to himself for seconds to organize his thoughts, before saying, “Pain Star is merely an Awakened. Sure, her power was special and she could control dead bodies so that they fought for her, but there I was, in my farm, planting my potatoes when I remembered that the Sky Demon Cult would attack me. That’s why I attacked first…”

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“And the rest is history, Grandmaster Cheng.”

Jiang He said, pointing at the carnage of the explosions. “I’ve blown up most of the zombies that Pain Star was controlling, frightening her off and the three Fiends with her, and they weren’t slowpokes. It took me great effort to catch up and cut them all down.”

Even as he spoke, he seemed to remember something else and asked, “By the way, have you guys found Killer Star’s corpse?”

“I vaguely saw him being used as a zombie and blown sky-high, although I didn’t know if he was blown into pieces…”

Hence, Jiang He started a search, with a group of soldiers helping him.

Eventually, they did find Killer Star five minutes later—or the half of his body that was left, three hundred meters away from the left side of the explosion, at a cornfield destroyed by the shockwave from the explosion.

Jiang He hence went home, got a piece of white cloth and wrapped it around Killer Star’s mangled corpse, and said with a yawn, “I hadn’t been sleeping well recently because of the Sky Demon Cult. Grandmaster Cheng, you could just hand off the Fiend Decrees and the Decan Decree to Old Duan, and have him record the merit points under my name.

“And help me contact Mu Wanqiu about the horned boar corpse, see if she’s interested.

“Okay, now I’ll go home and sleep.”

Hence, Jiang He picked up Killer Star’s dead body and walked home carefully, leaving behind a gaping Cheng Dongfeng…

Bro.

Is there something wrong with you?

How could you sleep after you caused such a scene?

And, even if you could fall asleep, there is no telling how many people would not be sleeping because of you!

Nonetheless, Cheng Dongfeng instructed the many soldiers to clean up the battlefield, and only then did he remember he forgot to ask where the corpses of Pain Star and her Fiends were.

Whipping out his phone, he dialed Duan Tianhe’s number.

Duan Tianhe was himself sitting in his office at the MAD with a somber look on his face. He promptly answered Cheng Donfeng’s call when he saw his caller ID, asking, “Old Cheng, what’s the situation? There were explosions just now…”

Cheng Dongfeng reported the outcome of the battle to him.

Thud!

Duan Tianhe’s phone fell straight to the floor. With a frozen look on his face, he sat down stiffly and only recovered after a long time, yelling, “Someone prepare a car. I’m going to Jinyintan Village!”

With Pain Star and the Heavenly Generals Earthen Savage, Earthen Majesty Earthen Diction all killed, no small fry was going to invade Lingzhou City.

Nonetheless, after Duan Tianhe had gotten ready and stepped out of the MAD, his MPV had driven for just around twenty meters when there was a loud bang—a figure had streaked towards the vehicle, landing directly on the hood of the MPV.

That tremendous force kicked the entire vehicle into the air, reducing the hood and the front half of the car to scrap metals.

Bang!

The MPV landed then.

Duan Tianhe promptly leaned aside and rolled outside, sending one car door flying in the process.

But he had barely left the car when he felt his body become light, because his entire body had been lifted by a large hand. More horrifyingly, Duan Tianhe could feel an abundant wave of True Qi was directly restraining himself.

“Duan Tianhe, did you bloody spread military disinformation?”

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A voice with a Xibei accent spoke beside his ear.

Duan Tianhe realized what was happening then, and when he clearly saw who it was, he quickly exclaimed, “Commander Chen…”

The man was indeed Chen Jingzhou, in his military uniform and having his alloy longsword slung over his back.

Still, he was left very ragged at the moment after the serious battle he just fought. His uniformed was almost in pieces no thanks to slices by Sword Qi, and his face had dirt all over it since one of his opponents was an earth-type Awakened who could match a rank-eight martial artist.

Moreover, he had dashed all the way here afterwards, covering a 200-mile distance to reach Lingzhou City…

He did not once stop through his wild dash and had almost drained all of his True Qi in his fear that Lingzhou City had fallen with countless casualties.

But when he reached it, he found that there was nothing wrong with the city.

When he dialed Duan Tianhe’s number, he found that Duan Tianhe was on a joyride to who-knows where, twiddling his thumbs.

And now, Chen Jingzhou glared at the man himself, pelting him with a bellow, “Duan Tianhe, did you know that your misinformation almost got me cut down by the Sixth Elder and three Decans of the Sky Demon Cult?!”

“Do you know that you would be court-martialed for your misinformation?!”

Duan Tianhe rose to his feet, between laughter and tears. “Commander Chen, I really wasn’t spreading disinformation…”

Utterly irritated, Chen Jiangzhou kicked Duan Tianhe down to the ground, pointed a finger at his nose and barked, “You’re still being stubborn even now?!

“Didn’t you tell us that Lingzhou City is facing a dire threat, that Sky Demon Cult elites might be invading?

“Where are those elites?

“Tell me, where are the Sky Demon Cult elites?!”

“To tell the truth, Commander Chen,” Duan Tianhe replied, “The Sky Demon Cult had deployed two rank-eight Grands and three Heavenly Generals, although they’re all dead now.”

Hah!

Chen Jingzhou snorted.

Two rank-eight Grands?

Three Heavenly Generals?

All dead?

And what, did you kill them all, Duan Tianhe?

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