Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Panda Novel

“Kill him, Earthen Majesty, Earthen Diction!”

Pain Star cried out shrilly when she saw Jiang He approaching, Dragon-Slaying Saber in hand. “Do you believe a mere rank-six martial artist like him is really that powerful?”

Still, she did not really have to speak—the Earthen Majesty Heavenly General and the Earthen Diction Heavenly General were already combining to intercept Jiang He.

They were not being careless with the precedents in the Tranquil Heavenly General, the Earth Demon Heavenly General, and Killer Star. They went all out in their first strike, unleashing True Qi as dark mist surrounded their bodies. As one brandished an alloy staff that concealed a thin, long war blade and one swung his alloy sword, radiant blade and sword shadow intertwining and shrouding Jiang He.

In response, Jiang He energized his Indestructible Diamond. As his Nine Yang True Qi burst out, he unleashed two slashes of Ninefold Thunderblade the instant he raised his hand.

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Boom-crack!

The thunder slash exploded, breaking through the radiant blade and sword shadow, cutting towards the two rank-seven pinnacle martial artists and forcing them to retreat.

Still, Jiang He’s face twitched at that.

He noticed his shortcoming in their very first exchange.

“My skills have too little variety…”

The Ninefold Thunderblade he had cultivated cuts straight ahead and was rather rigid, to the point that the Earthen Majesty Heavenly General and the Earthen Diction Heavenly General easily parried or evaded the slashes that could have maimed them.

“But I have my advantage too!”

“I might be rank-six, but my True Qi is more abundant compared to theirs. They could block one slash, but can they block ten?”

Jiang He slashed out again, and both the Earthen Majesty Heavenly General and the Earthen Diction Heavenly General appeared excited when they parried another thunder-slash from Jiang He. “His moves might be powerful but there’s no variety! He can’t keep busting out the same moves like this!”

“Die!”

When Pain Star saw Jiang He’s shortcoming as well, she leaped down from the horned boar which rushed at Jiang He like a tank.

The pressure mounted on Jiang He at once.

He hence swung his saber for a vertical slash, repelling both the Earthen Majesty Heavenly General and the Earthen Diction Heavenly General. After that, he turned into a blur with Blind Princess’s Eight Practices, evading the horned boar’s charge.

Still, he looked solemn.

“That pig is rank-eight!”

“Too bad it’s been dead for a long time and its flesh is all rotten. Its meat would have lasted me a year otherwise!”

Then, seeing that both the Earthen Majesty Heavenly General and the Earthen Diction Heavenly General were charging at him again, Jiang He breathed a long sigh and quietly muttered, “Looks like I have to go all-out!”

Boom!

His aura increased by several notches while the silhouette of two great suns rose behind him. It was a sign that he had cultivated up to tier two in Strengthened Nine Yang Technique. Aside from the suns, there was deafening dragon roars and elephant trumpeting, and in just a few moments, silhouettes of a divine dragon and a divine elephant appeared, and began running in circles around the suns.

Hence, Jiang He attacked once more!

Boom-crack!

His ten-meter thunder-slash burst out, cutting towards Earthen Majesty Heavenly General, who was closest to him.

What the hell!

Earthen Majesty Heavenly General was fighting at full power, but his face fell when he saw the thunder-slash. Holding up his sword to parry it, a loud clang echoed before he was sent flying.

Even up in the air, he was vomiting blood violently.

Seizing the moment, Jiang He took out a pepper and stuffed it down his throat, even as he brought his blade to bear against the horned boor.

Once the pepper was in his mouth, his aura overflowed by several notches.

???

Pain Star, who was standing in the distance look utterly bewildered. Still, despite being unsure what was going on with Jiang He, she kept crying out, “Kill him! He only used some trick—it won’t last!”

After that…

Blargh!

She then saw that the Earthen Diction Heavenly General sent flying whilst puking blood as well.

Jiang He, laughing, cut down at him again, and Earthen Diction had to hold up his sword to parry again!

Clang!

As metals clashed, the S-grade alloy longsword Earthen Diction had been wielding was knocked out of his hands—Jiang He had cut into his hand between his thumb and his forefinger, and most importantly, the thunder element had paralyzed his body, making every strand of hair stand upright!

“No!”

Even as Earthen Diction cried out in despair, Jiang He’s third slash had arrived, cutting him in two.

Rumble!

In that instant, the horned boar had already reached Jiang He’s back.

Jiang He swung his sword with a backhand swing, but a vein of dark air shot out of its jet-black horn of the boar, breaking Jiang He’s slash, just as its body that was the size of a bus slammed heavily into Jiang He.

Crap!

Jiang He cursed inwardly. Though he was still an initiate in Indestructible Diamond and being knocked like that would not be a problem, he still felt it. Nonetheless, he could not help looking pleased when he realized that he was sent flying in the Earthen Majesty Heavenly General’s direction.

Even as horror and despair showed on Earthen Majesty’s face, Jiang He turned and smiled, asking, “Were you surprised?”

“Was this unexpected?”

Stab!

Running his blade through the Earthen Majesty Heavenly General and killing him, Jiang He landed and started to brawl with the horned boar.

“Damn it!”

“This thing’s skin is too thick and too tough. And since it’s a corpse in the first place, normal injuries wouldn’t work at all.”

He was unable to cut the horned boar down despite several consecutive slashes, and perhaps because of the pepper’s side effects, Jiang He couldn’t help becoming a little frustrated.

What was worse…

He actually found the horned boar attractive.

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Meanwhile, Pain Star, who had been scared out of her wits, promptly turned and fled.

However, she was already suffering from recoil, and being an Awakened with a worse physique than a rank-five martial artist, how could she be any quicker?

Hence, even before she could run over 500 meters, she suddenly turned to find Jiang He giving chase like a phantom, saber in hand. He was more than twice quicker than she was, and so Pain Star had to grit her teeth, use her powers and steer the horned boar to pursue Jiang He.

Nonetheless, the horned boar was quite slow for a rank-eight feral.

It remained far behind Jiang He, who widened the gap between them even as he closed in on Pain Star.

Knowing that she was not getting away, Pain Star resolved herself and stopped.

But as she abruptly turned around, she tore off her spandex with a single move and called out in her coquettish loli voice, “Mercy, young hero. If you spare me, I’m willing to be your slave… gak…”

She felt a pain in her belly even before she finished—Jiang He had cut his saber through her body.

As Pain Star looked down at the blade that pierced her body with much difficulty, and then looked up.

Why wasn’t this person playing his cards like a normal person?

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Under these circumstances, shouldn’t you stop, say something ruthless before you do this?

Her horned boar would have caught up in that brief window, and she would make it self-destruct with her control over it, maiming Jiang He even if she could not kill him.

Now, her lifeforce was rapidly fading.

A venomous look appeared on Pain Star’s face then, and she cried, “You’ll never kill me, Jiang He! One day, the Saint would revive me from the River of Time!”

“You talk a lot!”

Jiang He pulled out his sword and stabbed Pain Star again, directly killing her.

Only then did he breathe a long sigh and mutter, “Looks like I would have to eat the pepper only when the time is right. Otherwise, I’ll be looking at everyone through rose-tinted glasses, like how I almost got seduced by this old bag!”

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Jiang He patted his chest, appearing relieved.

Thankfully, he was decisive enough to stab her to death, and did not give her the chance to flirt.

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