Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Panda Novel

Mu Wanqiu lifted a brow and asked, "What deal?"

Jiang He did not answer, simply smiling instead. "Are you acquainted with Wang Siyu, Miss Mu?"

"Wang Siyu? Isn't she one of Old Duan's subordinates—the girl who can read minds?" Mu Wanqiu was left very confused and pressed, "What does your deal with me have to do with Wang Siyu?"

"Patience, Miss Mu. You'll find out soon enough," said Jiang He. Turning around, he called out, "Wang Siyu, come over here for a minute!"

Wang Siyu ran up to them. "What is it?"

Jiang He smiled. "Show Miss Mu the effects of the corn."

"But…" Blushing, Wang Siyu looked around and whispered, "Here? This isn't the right place, is it? Can't we go to your house instead?"

Jiang He did a double take, unable to decide if he wanted to laugh or cry. "What are you thinking? You don't have to take off your clothes. Just straighten yourself."

After all, Wang Siyu's clothes were rather baggy and didn't accentuate her size. However, when she stood upright in front of Mu Wanqiu—

Pop!

The button in front of her chest popped out.

1

"You!"

Seething, Mu Wanqiu wheeled around and stormed off, slamming her foot on the throttle and zooming away as soon as she got into her SUV.

1

Wang Siyu quickly fastened her buttons while whispering, "What happened to Miss Mu, Jiang He?"

Jiang He was staring at her… and only sighed after half a beat. "Maybe she's just jealous. Let's go. Could you come home with me? There's something I need your help with."

1

After parting ways with Duan Tianhe, Jiang He and Wang Siyu walked together beneath the moonlight back to the village. However, they had only walked over four hundred meters when the SUV that had just sped out of sight returned to them.

Winding down the car window, Mu Wanqiu said exasperatedly, "Jiang He, weren't you supposed to make a deal with me?"

"I thought you were not interested, Miss Mu," replied Jiang He flatly. Nonetheless, he opened the SUV door on his own and got into the vehicle with Wang Siyu. "Drive. We'll talk at my place."

"You…"

Mu Wanqiu was left fuming again. Do you take me for a chauffeur? Who do you think I am…? Still, her rage seemed to calm down after a glance at Wang Siyu's chest.

She smiled as she drove her SUV towards the village. "Miss Wang, you have such a nice body."

"Not really," said Wang Siyu humbly. "Your figure is more enviable, Miss Mu."

Mu Wanqiu's face darkened visibly.

Jiang He slapped a hand over his mouth, but was eventually unable to stifle a giggle. It was rather impolite—one should not be laughing at a person just because said person's chest was smaller. But even as he held back his laughter, Jiang He gave Wang Siyu a look, who caught on and smiled.

"Miss Mu, you might not know this, but I was a 33C just a few days ago."

Mu Wanqiu's face darkened further.

This time, Jiang He could not hold back and burst into laughter. "Are you perhaps smaller than a 33C, Miss Mu? You don't seem that flat though... Well, I have some natural green products that'll help. It's completely organic, yellow, and pollution-free. I guarantee you'll be a 36D after you have one!"

2

Granted, he was talking about corn… calling it green when it's golden-yellow was indeed a little outrageous. Nonetheless, Jiang He had quickly made his point because he saw a small flame appear over Mu Wanqiu's head.

After taking a few interested glances at it, he exclaimed in awe, "How curious. That fire over your head doesn't graze your hair."

Whoosh.

The flame dispersed, while Mu Wanqiu was left a little speechless.

"I'm a fire-type Awakened. Why would I be burned by my own flame?"

"Then, are you afraid of fires set by others?"

"Depends on the situation."

Mu Wanqiu slowed down her vehicle as they reached the junction outside the village, only putting her foot on the pedal after Jiang He pointed out directions.

"Normal fires won't work against fire-type Awakened," she added, "but I can still get hurt if my opponent is another fire-type and they attack with their power."

"I see," said Jiang He, nodding and pointing the way for Mu Wanqui.

Soon, they arrived at his home. Dumbo and Trumbo had returned ahead of them and were hanging out at the farmyard. They did not come out, although they glanced at Mu Wanqiu when she entered, seemingly sensing something.

"My house was just attacked by the Sky Demon Sect. I haven't had time to clean up." Jiang He smiled as he opened the door that did not crumble. "Welcome, Miss Mu."

After entering, Mu Wanqiu studied her surroundings and grinned. "Jiang He, I've heard that you've declined the Special Case Bureau's offer. Well, do you have any interest in joining the National Superpower Research Department?"

1

"We offer better benefits than the bureau, and if you're interested, you would get a basic monthly salary, additional merit points, and medicinal pellets. Of course, any gains from missions you take part in will be counted separately. Incidentally, I have a few housings in Lingzhou. I could give one to you."

However, Jiang He waved her off. "Sorry, Miss Mu. We will only be discussing a business deal today and nothing else."

He went inside the adjacent crumbled house for a bit, and found the piece of paper that Wang Siyu had written her 'data' on.

"Please take a look, Miss Mu," said Jiang He, passing it to her.

Scanning through the paper, Mu Wanqiu found that there was nothing but a few numbers scribbled on it: 33C, 34C, 36C, 36D, and so forth. Getting the idea, she instinctively turned to Wang Siyu, who in turn promptly straightened herself.

"Jiang He, these numbers…"

"Oh. That's the growth curve table observed from a certain part of Wang Siyu's body after she used my product."

What…?

Mu Wanqiu's mouth twitched. How is that a growth curve table?! It was just a piece of A4 paper with a few numbers scribbled on it. Why are you acting all high and mighty?

Even so, Mu Wanqiu's chest was heating up! After all, Wang Siyu was very well-endowed now! If she could become like her, she would shine so bright that she would blind those doggone eyes of her besties.

After all, which woman wouldn't want a perfect figure?

5

Lowering the piece of paper and straightening herself elegantly on Jiang He's little wooden stool, she asked, "Consider my interest piqued. Jiang He, what is this product of yours?"

Musing to himself for a moment, Jiang He replied, "It's a farm product."

"What?"

Mu Wanqiu did not hear him clearly at first, but she saw Jiang He turning and leaving through the door, returning soon after with three corns in his hand.

Mu Wanqiu's lips parted slightly in surprise. "So large, so thick!" She rose, taking one of the corns. "This corn… could it have evolved as well?"

6

"What do you think about my product, Miss Mu?"

Jiang He suddenly remembered that you have to show your products when you are making a sales pitch. He promptly peeled one of the corns and held it up in his hand.

"Look. My corn is as thick as it is large and abundant. The complete golden hue alone offers it a fine appearance, and it extends a faint sweet corn scent even if not cooked, not to mention that it tastes even better when cooked. Of course, its greatest effect is to promote a second puberty in women, giving you a body that you can have absolute confidence in!"