Eternal Melody



Philophobia is the abnormal, persistent, and unwarranted fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love in the past but also can be chronic phobia. This affects the quality of life and pushes a person away from commitment. The worst aspect of fear of being in love and falling in love is that it keeps a person in solitude. It can also evolve out of religious and cultural beliefs that prohibit love.

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Atushi shakes his head and then shows him several images on his phone. "I already intercepted these pictures and had Yoru deal with the reporter."

Yuhi raised his eyebrow. "You did it without my permission-" He paused, seeing Atushi's images. 

His gaze darkened, and black flames surrounded his body. The pictures show Nagawa leading Sumire to a hotel, his arms around her waist. His hand was dangerously close to her butt. Another picture of Nagawa kissing her cheek. Another of the two going to the hotel room, and Nagawa pushed Sumire against the door. Kissing her neck, his hands parting her thighs.

He felt his blood boiling. What is this? How come he didn't know about this? Nagawa Sano. He should have done something about him a long time ago. It was a mistake to leave him be.

"Calm down, Yuhi. Do you want to burn this place down?"

Yuhi growled. "You should have just mentioned this."

"If I did, you would have lost control."

"I am losing control now." Yuhi snapped. "This is not okay. I thought it was something simple, like the rumors before. But this?"

How stupid of him focusing on his wants and needs. He should have talked to her properly and asked her what was going on and if there was anything she wanted to discuss. Damn it.

How frightened is she? How much mental damage has this done to her? Yuhi recalled Sumire's state when he first learned about her past relationship with Nagawa and the damage it did to her. 

"I know, and that's why I'm heading back. Narasaki clearly can't handle this." Atushi placed the plastic bag on the table and pulled out some bottles. "Care for a drink?"

Yuhi nodded. 

In the past, all he had to do was get wasted to forget all his worries and troubles and to calm his anger down. 

After a few drinks, Yuhi found himself rambling.

"Honestly, I had no idea he was doing any of that, now that you've given me the details. I am half tempted to go back to Japan just to beat him to a pulp." Yuhi said angrily.

Atushi's sweat fell. "Did you really trust him to behave?"

"No, but I trusted Sumire to keep him in line. I guess it's hard for her since she is self-sacrificing like Mamoru. She probably thinks because Nagawa has done so much for her, at the very least, she can do this for him." Yuhi sighed.

His girlfriend can be so clever and yet stupid at times. He also thought that Nagawa was changing and that he genuinely cared for Sumire and wouldn't do anything to hurt her. 

'I don't understand how someone as good as Hino made friends with something like that.' 

Yuhi shakes his head. He doesn't want to be judgemental. 

"When I asked her about it, she said those exact words. 'This is no good. I'm starting to behave like Ru.'"

Yuhi sighed. "I really wish she would treasure herself more."

"I think she does, a bit more than before, anyway. But, the process is still ongoing."

"Hah, if it's really that bad, though. I'll have to tell Hino to, no, if you're going back, take over."

"You don't trust Narasaki to handle this?"

"It's more like I understand Hino is in a difficult position. I don't want to make it worse for him."

Atushi poured him another cup of wine. "Maybe you should stop thinking about others and think about yourself."

"When I think about myself, I end up doing stupid shit that makes Sumire cry."

"I've never seen you make her cry before."

"Either way, my actions since I came here will definitely hurt her," Yuhi mumbled.

"Even if you do stupid stuff and hurt her. Something tells me Sumire will forgive and love you the same regardless."

He can't even dismiss those words, knowing it's exactly like what Atushi is saying.

"Sometimes I wonder what is going on in that pretty head of hers."

Atushi laughed. "She definitely has you wrapped around her finger. I didn't think she would be the one wearing the pants in this relationship."

"So, you're saying she is in control?"

At those words, his friend nodded a bit too eagerly. "It's not easy to control you, so this is amusing."

"Sumire is very cute. Sometimes she is bold and confident but has a shy side too. All sides of her are so adorable." Yuhi trailed off. "I always thought I was holding her back and that I didn't give her a proper choice when we first dated. I thought I manipulated her into dating me."

"That's definitely wrong."

"I know that. At least I think I do," Yuhi mumbled. "This isn't easy for me. Falling in love this deeply."

For so long, he was afraid.

There was a time when he was truly afraid to love.

Even though he has loved Sumire ever since they were younger, a part of him was afraid to truly commit to her. Otherwise, he would have confessed to her a long time ago. There were many other chances, especially when he regained his memories of her.

"Truthfully, the thing with Hino scares me. When I realized that Hino also liked Sumire, I was afraid. It reminded me of the past too much. I wanted to forget it, forget what happened in our childhood. Sumire doesn't remember how badly Hino and I argued about her in the facility. She doesn't know how we fought for her. If she ever remembers-" Yuhi shakes his head. "It scares me."