Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

"So...what's this about?"

I was currently at the Ragiu mansion, after Erhtaph had requested my presence. He said it wasn't a mission though. I was pretty curious as to what this was about.

"Ah, well...do you remember the young girl you rescued from Depol Lieh's hidden basement torture chamber?"

"Hm? Oh, right. What about her?"

"Well, you see, shortly after you left her in my care, I admitted her to the nearby hospital, and began searching for her family. I found them soon enough, they live here in the west side of the country as well, and the family reunited. The girl has made a full recovery physically, and has nearly recovered mentally as well."

"Oh, uh...that's good to hear, I guess. Actually, it's kinda impressive...recovering from something like that is...not easy, and that's the understatement of the year," I replied before adding curiously, "So...what does that have to do with me being here?"

"The girl and her family wish to meet you...in order to show you their gratitude."

Oh, no...absolutely not.

"I'm gonna have to pass...I really don't do well in situations like that, and, uh...I'm not good with kids."

I don't know if that was true or not...I had never met a single person around my age or younger than me in my old life. Sure, I had passed by some on the street every now and then, but I've never actually spoken to one, not till I reincarnated here.

But if I had to guess..I'm probably not good with kids.

"Unfortunately...they are in the living room downstairs, I have already told them that you are here. I never imagined you would be against the idea...my apologies."

Wow, that was one convincing apology...yes, I'm being sarcastic. Damn it, he must have figured that I'd be likely to refuse. This sneaky old bastard...

"Wait, weren't my missions supposed to be top secret or whatever...should you really be telling some regular old civilians-?"

"Sometimes, you can make exceptions. The family is extremely grateful to you, so it is highly unlikely that they would do anything to compromise you."

Crap, he had really thought this through. But why put in so much effort...he must have an ulterior motive.

"In that case...it shouldn't be a problem if I tell someone I trust about my missions, right?"

Alright, this was my last shot...if he refused, it'd be hypocritical, so-.

"Hm...very well, I suppose that is fair."

Looks like I'm not talking my way out of this one.

"Fine...I'll talk to them for like five minutes, and then I'm out," I sighed in defeat.

He led me downstairs and into the living room, where a family of three was seated. I barely recognized the girl, she looked much healthier and had life in her eyes. Wait a sec, her father looks extremely familiar too...where have I seen him before...?

"Kuro, allow me to introduce the Eucrest family."

As he said the name, it finally clicked and I recognized who the man was.

"Hey, aren't you my landlord?" I blurted out.

He looked surprised for a moment, before a look of recognition appeared in his eyes.

"Oh, you moved into my apartment building a few months ago...yes, you're the one with the kitten, aren't you?"

"Yeah, that's me."

Pretty small world, huh- oh, wait...this literally is a small world, especially compared to my old one.

"Oh, quite the coincidence," Erhtaph said in surprise...but I had a feeling that he already knew.

...

After a bit of small talk, as the girl's parents thanked me and I awkwardly responded...

"Go ahead, dear...you have something to say to him, right," The girl's mother urged her gently.

She was looking a lot better than she had when I discovered her in that torture chamber, her skin was no longer clinging to her bones, she was still a bit on the skinny side, but looked in much better health. Her dark brown eyes had a sparkle of life in them now, and her neck-length, straight light brown hair had more of a shine to it too.

The little girl walked over to me nervously, fidgeting. Huh, considering my literal dark sense of fashion, I probably looked a bit intimidating to a kid. I squatted down so I wasn't looking down at her, her nervous expression easing a bit.

"U-um, hi...my name is Mika Eucrest."

"Oh, uh...hi, Mika. I'm Kuro," I replied, giving her a friendly smile.

Okay, this is a little awkward, but it's not as uncomfortable as I thought. Guess I'm not that bad with kids after all.

"I, um...I just wanted to say thank you for saving me, Mr Kuro!"

"You're welcome, Mika. I'm glad to see you're doing better."

I couldn't help but feel sympathetic towards this kid, given that she was a fellow torture victim.

She began to reply, when a loud noise suddenly sounded right outside.

That sounded like...a lightning blast.

Before I could think any further, the front door broke and burst inwards as a person slammed into it.

What the-!?

"Wait...Misen?"

Yeah, it was definitely him. His chest and abdomen was fairly badly electrocuted, a streak of blood running down the corner his mouth.

A man with a furious expression walked in through the now doorless front entrance, lightning crackling all around him.

He was tall and well-built, appeared to be in his late-twenties, with spiky blue hair, a pointy goatee, a heavily tattooed right arm, and bright purple eyes.

Wait, if I'm not mistaken, he was...the number one S-Ranked Adventurer in the Rustlands, he had Lightning Magic and a scorpion Retractable Anima, he could apparently retract and un-retract a large scorpion stinger from his lower back. I had seen him around the Guild a few times but had never spoken to him.

Apparently, he was the type who was easily ticked off and had a ton of pride. His name was, uh...what was it again?

"Lapunder, what is the meaning of this!?" Erhtaph demanded furiously, as the Eucrest family cautiously moved to the back of the living room.

Oh, that's right...Neo Lapunder.

"Ah, Ragiu...your son here disrespected me, so I brought him here...I can't let a green rookie Adventurer get away with disrespecting me, the number one Adventurer of this nation!"

...wow, and I thought Elolina had a big ego.

"Humble, aren't you?" I blurted out before I coyld stop myself.

He instantly shifted his attention and directed his fury at me, an enraged glare on his face. I just can't help it, antagonizing people like him was like an instinctive thing I couldn't resist.

"Huh, you wanna die, kid!? Get on your knees and apologize, I just might forgive you."

Misen opened his eyes and sat up with a groan.

"What do you mean, I 'disrespected' you, you bumped into me, and I just glared at you...the next thing I knew, you were attacking me-!"

"Shut up or I'll destroy you!" He shouted angrily, charging up a lightning blast in his hand as he grew even more furious.

Uh-oh, not good...his bloodlust told me that he was seriously planning on firing that.

I quickly extracted fifteen percent Karma, activated my recently mastered x2.8 Lightning Boost, and began rapidly charging black lightning around my clenched right fist. I can use this much Karma for ten seconds.

I charged my fist for five seconds and then, before he could fire the lightning in his palm, I shot forward as fast as I could, my overall speed boost at x4.9.

"What the-!?" He exclaimed, as I reached him in an instant and slammed my fist into his abdomen as hard as I could, sending him flying out the door and crashing onto the wall outside, large cracks spreading out from the impact point.

"You really shouldn't enter someone's home without permission, let alone vandalize it," I remarked with a shrug.

He collapsed onto his knees, and coughed out a puddle of blood. His abdomen was badly burnt, I might have actually punched through his stomach if it wasn't for his armor.

Nevertheless, that felt pretty good. I quickly transferred the Karma back into the Mana Orb...crap, I didn't think this through. I can't use Karma anymore, and he was still conscious...if he could bear the pain and still fight, I doubt I could defeat him with Lightning Boost alone, plus that had totally been a sucker punch.

"Y-you damned brat, I'll f-fucking kill you- aghh!" He cried out in agony, struggling to get up, before collapsing onto his haunches, coughing up more blood.

...okay, it looks like he's in too much pain to stand up. Crisis averted for now.

I didn't really have a choice though, he had definitely been about to fire that lightning bolt at Misen, and if that was all he was going to hit, I wouldn't have interferred, but at the rate he was charging up the blast, he'd destroy the living room too, and probably seriously injure everyone in it.

...wait, I could have just used Store and Extract instead of punching him...oh, well, what's done is done.

Erhtaph took out a scroll and walked over to Neo, pointing it at him and activating it as he got within five meters of him. Looks like the paralysis spell Elolina had hit me with before using the Rewind spell.

"I will be taking him to the Guild now. Do not worry, Kuro, I shall explain that this was in self-defense, he will not be allowed to attack you again. I will be back soon," He stated, dragging Neo away with an outraged expression.

"Um...is everyone okay?" I awkwardly asked.

The Eucrests nodded, as they sat back down on a couch, while Misen stood up with a groan.

"Our personal differences aside, I have to say...that punch was quite satisfying to watch," He remarked, wincing with pain as he clutched his scorched abdomen.

He then headed upstairs, presumably to use a healing spell on himself.

...now what?

This is awkward...I probably shouldn't just leave, but I have no idea what to do or say right now.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence passed by...

"U-um, Mr Kuro?" Mika walked up to me.

"Hm, what is it?" I asked with a friendly smile.

"You're so strong...I want to be strong too...can you teach me?"

Huh? Where'd that come from?

"O-oh, uh...," I stuttered, trying to think of a nice way to say no, "I don't think that's..."

"Please? I...I don't want to go through...something like that again. I-I know it's rude of me to ask a favor after you've already saved my life, but...I don't want to ever be weak and helpless again!"

Not good...her words were resonating with me, I knew exactly what she meant by 'weak and helpless'...I knew it all too well, I had been there too.

"I understand how you feel, but in that case, it doesn't have to be me...I'm sure there's plenty of people who could train y-," I began in a soft voice.

"But I want it to be you, I want to be strong like you!"

"E-even so...it would be pointless unless we both have the same Elemental-."

"I have lightning too!" She interrupted, forming a ball of lightning between her palms.

Damn it, that was my most logical excuse, but it was made redundant...on another note, her Lightning Magic was impressive, she had formed a ball of lightning about the size of a tennis ball in a few seconds.

Usually, I'd be starting to get annoyed if anyone pestered me like this...but knowing what she went through, I was a bit thrown off right now and having a hard time just outright saying 'no'.

"That's enough, Mika darling...I apologize, Mr Kuro, she has been thinking about this ever since you rescued her. We do understand if you cannot accept, but we would greatly appreciate it if you do...I think it would be a great thing if our daughter could learn to defend herself, and your display against the number one Adventurer just now proves that you would be ideal to teach her how to use her magic."

"I-I don't know..."

"I believe it is a fine idea, why not consider it?" Erhtaph chimed in, as he walked through the doorless entrance.

Oh, he's back.

"W-well, I-."

"Adventurers often take on apprentices, you know...I do not see how it could be a problem."

At least let me finish what I'm saying.

"M-maybe so, but I'm still a Student Adventurer, so-."

"A trivial detail, it is nothing to be concerned about out."

Okay, why is he pushing for this so much? He wouldn't be unless he saw some kind of benefit to it. Was this the ulterior motive for which he had taken the trouble to set this up for?

Mika was staring up at me with an expectant look in her eyes...damn it me, stop sympathizing with this kid just because she happened to go through something similar to what I went through! Just say no-!

"I-I'll think about it," I responded reluctantly, regretting it almost immediately.

"Excellent! Someone of your skills taking on an apprentice would be quite beneficial to the Rustlands in the future!" Exclaimed Erhtaph enthusiastically.

Hey, I said I'll think about it, not that I'll do it...and he finally revealed the real reason why he was so invested in this idea...he had looked at it from a long-term perspective.

"I hope you will choose to accept, Mr Black...I believe you paid one year's worth of rent in advance, correct...perhaps that amount would be sufficient for two years if this works out," Added Mr Eucrest with a smile.

Wait, what...if I understood him right, he was saying that after the year for which I paid rent in advance is up...the entire next year would be completely rent-free!? Woah, that was...a great deal. But wait, wasn't that technically a bribe...and Erhtaph was super against corruption and whatnot, right...I glanced at him, but he gave me an approving look...huh, guess he's fine with corruption if it's for a cause that'll benefit the country.

"I'll...I'll let you know what I've decided by tomorrow," I sighed in defeat.

Yeah, I can't drag this out...I'll try to think of a good way to refuse by tomorrow.

Man, this really isn't like me...I'm usually direct and blunt, but I felt a sort of kinship with Mika...it didn't help that I completely understood where she was coming from, her desire to get stronger to avoid a repeat of what she went through...I knew what that was like better than anyone.

"Well, then...Kuro, why don't you escort the Eucrests home?" Suggested Erhtaph.

Shrewd old bastard, he was making it as difficult as he possibly could for me to say no.

And so, I found myself leading the family to...

"Um, where is your house located?" I asked, as we left the Ragiu mansion.

"Oh, it is in the ground floor of the same building you are staying at."

Crap, they live in the same apartment as me!? It was getting harder and harder to get out of this situation...I wanted to blame someone, but it wasn't actually anyone's fault! Fuck it, I'll just blame not-God...fuck you, not-God!

'Do not use me to take out your frustrations on.'

That floaty, monotone voice echoed into my head, startling me. Seriously, that's all it took to trigger divine intervention? Huh, wonder if I can somehow use this in a fight...

"Excuse me, Mr Kuro?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Um...what should I call you?"

Huh, I guess 'Mr Kuro' did feel a bit weird, but I didn't really care that much.

"Oh, uh...whatever you want, I don't mind."

"In that case...I've always wanted an older sibling, so is it okay if I call you big brother?"

Okay, I definitely can't let her call me that...my old world had absolutely ruined terms like 'big brother' or 'daddy' for me, so...

"Uh, you can just call me Bro or something," I suggested.

"Bro?" She inquired with a confused look.

"Oh, uh...it's like a shortened way of saying brother, I guess..."

"Okay...I'll call you Bro then!" She smiled happily.

Huh, I always thought kids would be super annoying to deal with...but this kid seems fine, I don't feel annoyed and I'm not having all that much difficulty in dealing with her.

"I hope her enthusiasm isn't bothering you...she has come to idolize you ever since you rescued," Her mother smiled, stroking her head.

"Of course...if it wasn't for Bro, I might...I might still be...," She trailed off, as her expression darkened.

Damn it, stop making this harder...how the hell am I supposed to say no in this situation!?

We arrived at the apartment shortly after, they headed in through a door on the ground floor, as I headed up to the second floor where my room was.

I opened the door, which was already unlocked, and walked in. Persia was inside.

"Hey, I'm back, Kitty Cat."

"Welcome back, Kuro. Is everything alright, you look like you've got something on your mind?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Well, it's like this..."

I explained everything that had happened, also finally telling her about the missions I had been taking on.

"So, uh...how am I supposed to break it to them that I don't want to take on an apprentice?"

"Kuro...you took out that serial killer that rumors were floating around about? And you punched the number one Adventurer in the country? That's so cool!"

"O-oh, uh...w-well, it was nothing really- no, wait, I'm getting off topic! Forget about those for now...what am I supposed to do about this, huh?"

She mulled it over for a second.

"Why not give it a try?"

"Not you too, Persia," I sighed, "I'm not even sure I'd be good at training someone-."

"What are you talking about? You're literally the one who's been training me, and the rest of Group D too."

...fair point.

"Okay, but...uh...," I trailed off, as I ran out of excuses.

"Try looking at it from this angle...what do you think of the idea of passing down your skills? How would you feel about someone inheriting your abilities and getting stronger because of you? Um, maybe if you try visualizing that, it'll be easier to figure out what you want to do? You always tell me to visualize stuff during training, so..."

Guess it couldn't hurt.

I closed my eyes and thought about it...you know what...I didn't...I didn't hate the idea. And I can't lie...it was pretty satisfying for me whenever I help the others train and they show tangible improvements after taking my suggestions.

"I suppose that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world..."

"Wait a second...um, how old is this girl, by the way?" She suddenly inquired, staring at me intently.

"Ten or eleven, I think?"

"Oh, then it's fine."

"...what, were you jealous?"

"N-no, of course not!"

Aww...

An idea then hit me as I recalled what happened earlier...

"Hey, Persia."

"Y-yeah, what?"

"Could you try...calling me 'big brother'?" I requested with an intrigued smirk.

"H-huh, wh-why? I m-mean, I guess I could try, b-but...it's kinda embarrassing."

"...," I didn't say anything, simply staring at her expectantly.

Heh, she usually found it hard to refuse something if I just did this.

"F-fine, um...b-big...big b-brother?" She muttered bashfully, before her face turned red with embarrassment and she covered it with her hands, "Wh-why was that so embarrassing!?"

"Okay, that was incredibly cute, but...being called that didn't really do anything for me...guess I'm not into that, huh," I replied, after mulling it over for a moment.

"Wh-what was that about anyw-?"

"Alright, now...try calling me 'daddy'," I suggested with another expectant look.

It'll probably be as ineffective as the previous one, but her reactions were just too adorable to resist, so I might as well try it out. Her face turned even redder, as she began fidgeting.

"Th-this is r-really weird, but, u-um...d-daddy?"

"..."

"...s-say something!"

"...that was...kinda hot. Mind saying it again?"

"Wait, wh-what is this about anyway? I-I don't know why that was so embarrassing, but...e-explain!"

I sheepishly explained to her how anime and porn had given the terms 'daddy' and 'big brother' some rather...sexual double meanings.

"...your old world was weird, Kuro."

"Yeah, I know."

Oops, I've gotten really sidetracked...back to the topic at hand.

"So...what should I do?"

"Hm? About what?"

"...this whole apprentice thing."

"Ohh, I totally forgot we were talking about that. Um...I don't know, just...do whatever you want to, I guess."

"Real helpful, Cat Girl."

I mulled it over one last time in my head...and came to a conclusion.

Alright, I've made my decision.

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.

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Anyway, that's how I found myself taking on an apprentice.

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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism! Also, check out my Instagram account @aimdaqs for posts relating to this book.