Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

The exams were over, and I had passed all of them.

Barely.

I had gotten perfect scores on the combat and Elemental Magic exams, but it was honestly a miracle that I passed the General Magic exam. The exam was to fill out an empty scroll so that it would create a barrier in the shape of a round shield in front of me, I was given three tries. The first two attempts failed, and I had mentally given up at that point, but I lucked out with my half-hearted third attempt, when, to my surprise, it actually worked.

As for the written exam, I had managed to pass, but had literally been just two points away from failing.

The group exam didn't go perfectly, but we managed to do decently enough to pass with an average score.

If someone had failed either one or two exams, they'd be able to attempt the failed exams again in one months' time. If someone had failed three or more exams, they'd have to start the first year over from the beginning.

And as for how the rest of Group D did...everyone had managed to pass everything except for Rai. He had failed the written exam by a single point, and would have to resit for it and try again in a month.

If he failed it again, he'd have to start over, which would also mean that he'd be forced to leave our group and form a new one with the new first years that he'd be starting over with.

Which, actually, wouldn't be the worst thing to happen...

Anyway, that was his problem.

I, on the other hand, was finally free of the burden of the exams, and I'd finally be able to freely go on Quests!

Adventurers were given cards as proof of their status, it was similar to the Identification Card, it would state the Adventurer's name, rank, and country. It also had a light up strip like the Identification Card did, it would light up when the owner runs their Mana through it. Adventurers could come and go through the walls as they pleased, unlike regular citizens who would need a valid reason that was approved by a government agency if they wanted to exit.

An Adventurer's rank was not just for show, it dictated what level of missions they were allowed to accept. D-Ranked Adventurers can only accept D-Ranked Quests, while C-Ranked Adventurers could accept Quests that were C-ranked or lower.

B-Ranked Adventurers can accept upto A-Ranked Quests, while A-Ranked Adventurers could take on upto S-Ranked Quests so long as they were with a group, and S-Ranked Adventurers were allowed to take on S-Ranked quests solo. Academy students would be given D-Ranked Student Adventurer Cards after the first half of their first year, and then those would be promoted to C-Ranked Student Adventurer Cards halfway through the second year, though there wouldn't be any further promotions till after they become an official Adventurer after graduating, in other words, Academy students including third years were generally not allowed to take on any quests that were ranked higher than C.

Though, there were exceptions.

That's right, I'm talking about the top performers of the Brawl of Glory.

Ekai and Misen would be getting A-Ranked Student Adventurer Cards, and they'll maintain those ranks when they graduate and become official Adventurers.

The difference between the two is that Ekai was given full A-Rank clearance, meaning he was allowed to take on S-Ranked Quests so long as he was with a group of Adventurers, while Misen was limited to an upper limit of A-Ranked Quests.

As for the semi-finalists, myself and Fuo Wesroh, we would be getting B-Ranked Student Adventurer Cards, giving us access upto A-Ranked quests.

Of course, these cards we received as students were more like temporary loans that'd be replaced with the genuine article if and after we become full-fledged Adventurers, if a student failed to graduate, they'd have to give up their card immediately.

I'd be receiving my card tomorrow, they had announced the exam results today morning.

And so, right now I was working my final shift at my part-time jobs. In a few hours, I would no longer have to work multiple low paying jobs to barely support myself, I would finally be able to take on Quests at my own leisure!

It also meant that I'd now be able to leave the country walls as I pleased instead of having to sneak out at night, plus I'll gain access to the teleportation points in the country too.

I had to say, having to work part-time for all these months had been a strange experience. Since surviving without money would be tough, I had to swallow my pride and hold my tongue instead of bluntly rattling off whatever I wanted to say.

That had probably played a big part in the fact that I was able to filter what I say a lot better in this world that I could in my old world. I guess it also helped that my employers were just normal people.

When you're an assassin, your clients are rarely ever just normal, everyday people. Regardless though, I was still pretty glad that I wouldn't have to do this anymore.

Oh, in case you're wondering, my final part-time shift was a job as a waiter at a bar. I'd been working here for a month, and it's been...interesting, serving drunk people is really quite an experience.

Oh, and the minimum drinking age in this world was fifteen, so a lot of the customers were pretty young. I'd tried drinking out of curiosity since I'd never tried alcohol in my old world, but I had to actively suppress my Healing Factor or I'd sober up in seconds.

But as it turned out, I didn't really like the taste of alcohol, so I stopped almost as soon as I'd started. Interesting though, if my Healing Factor had reacted to alcohol, then I might be immune to poisons.

I had assumed that it only covered physical injuries, but this changes things. I guess I could try pricking myself with one of my poisoned needles to see if my Healing Factor can eradicate the poison, but that was way too risky.

"Hey, kid! Quit daydreaming, I'm assigning you to tables seven and ten for tonight, they've each been reserved for 10 PM, which is just a few minutes away. Don't think I'll let you get away with slacking just because it's your last day!"

"Oh, uh, got it. Seven and ten," I replied affirmatively.

This bar was split into two sections, the bar front or general drinking area, and the private drinking area. The former was filled with barstools, rickety tables with plenty of chairs, and was where the regular customers would drink.

The private area was filled with closed rooms that would have to be booked in advance, those were generally only used by the richer customers or customers who were celebrating something.

I was usually just assigned to wait on one room per night, but tonight was especially busy so the workload was greater. Whatever, it's my last day anyway, so a little extra work should be fine. I got ready and stepped into the private area.

Looks like the lights were on in room seven, the group that had reserved it must have arrived. Room ten was still dark.

Oh, and by lights, I obviously don't mean electricity since that isn't a thing in this world.

Oil lamps and lanterns were commonly used for light, and there was also a type of crystal known as a Light Crystal, you run some Mana through it and it stays lit for about an hour to three hours, depending on the quality. Those things were about as bright as fluorescent bulbs, and about the size of a fist.

And in place of air conditioners, this world had mechanical fans that you had to wind up by hand. They would then spin for an hour or so, and then you'd have to wind them up all over again. There were also these things called Cooling Crystals, but they were pretty expensive so I wasn't sure how they worked yet.

Okay, I'm getting a bit off-topic.

Back to the present.

I knocked on the room seven door and cleared my throat.

"Um, excuse me? Are you ready to order?"

"Yes, please come in!" Replied someone from inside.

Huh, that voice had sounded slightly familiar. I opened the door and entered.

There were three people inside. Three of the Elemental Magic instructors. Paark Trocuelo, Falm Burays, and Lidui Uensh.

"Hmm, you look familiar, boy. Have we met before?" Inquired Instructor Uensh, blinking slowly and raising an eyebrow seductively.

...what.

Was this the same person who always had that sour, irritated look on her face? And the tone of her voice...she was clearly hitting on me.

"Uh...maybe," I replied uncertainly, not sure at all how to respond.

This was...really awkward.

"Ooh, playing hard to get, are we? Mm, this is why I love younger men," She smirked with a wink.

If I'm being honest, I'm not that into older women. Probably shouldn't say that out loud though.

Okay, based on the horrified reactions of the other two, they definitely recognized who I was. Well no surprise there, one of them was in charge of the Lightning Magic type students and not to boast or anything, but I was arguably the most proficient first year student at Lightning Magic.

"U-uh, Lidui...please stop!" Instructor Burays implored in a loud whisper.

"Huh!? Don't tell me what to do, we're not at the Academy, I'll do whatever the hell I want with whoever the hell I want in my own free time!"

Seriously, was this really the same person!?

"Instructor Uensh, that's...one of our first year students," Sighed Instructor Trocuelo in embarrassed exasperation.

An awkward silence filled the room as he said that. Why do I have to put up with this today? Come on, this was my last day, give me a break!

"U-uh, would you l-like to order?" I stuttered awkwardly.

God, that felt forced! You could cut the tension in here with a knife.

Thankfully, they gave me their orders, and I silently left the room, shutting the door behind me and letting out a quiet sigh of relief. I'd have to go back in there soon, but for now it just felt good to be out. I let the kitchen and bar know what their order was, and then headed for room ten while they were getting the order ready.

"Are you ready to order?" I called, as I knocked on the door.

"Yeah, come on in!"

I froze as I opened the door. This can't be real.

"Well, would you look who it is?" Greeted a familiar face with black and white striped hair and an unpleasant smirk.

"Oh! Hey, Kuro! Fancy seeing you here!" Exclaimed an enthusiastic kangaroo-eared girl with her brown hair tied back in a ponytail.

In addition to those two, three others were in the room. A strongly built guy with hair the color of a lion's mane and sharp teeth, a girl with a stern face, blonde hair and blue eyes, and a nervous looking guy with white hair, gray eyes and white fur on the back of his hands. It was The Big Five.

"Ah, you're the first year who made it to the semi-final against Ragiu, aren't you?" Observed Fuo, recognizing me.

"Oh, uh...yeah. That's me," I replied.

"It's been a while! How've you been?" Asked Vi, grinning.

"Uh, I'm fine, but...didn't we see other last week?" I recalled.

She always came over and said hi whenever I'd run into her at the Academy.

"Yeah, so? A week's still a while."

"Uh-huh, sure...anyway, I had no idea that The Big Five hung out like this, I just assumed that you didn't much associate with each other outside of the Academy rankings, none of you seemed that close during the tournament," I remarked curiously.

"Oh, you'd be right. Like I'd actually hang out with someone who defeated me," Replied Misen, gesturing towards Ekai, "Heck, I'd even rather hang out with you instead of this overpowered freak of nature."

"Just the thought of hanging out with you made me throw up in my mouth a bit," I grimaced in disgust.

"The Headmaster booked this for us as a reward for passing our mid-year exams. It would have been rude to refuse," Explained Ekai, in a monotone voice.

Oh, right. The exam results.

Duh, that's why it was so crowded today, people were celebrating passing the exam. That also explained the instructors being here. And come to think of it, the bar area and general drinking section had also been filled with customers close to my age, they had probably been other Academy students.

"I-I'm sorry, this is probably all my fault. I bet my presence is making this worse for everyone. I would be better off dead," Muttered Siert, fidgeting nervously.

This guy's existence bums me out. He'd probably literally off himself if I said that out loud though.

"A-anyway, can I take your orders?"

Four of them gave me their orders without any further fuss, but...

"Heh, if you want my order, you'll have to ask more nicely. Let's see...say 'may I humbly ask what you would like to order, sir?'. No wait, say 'may I humbly ask what you would like to order, my lord?'. Refuse and I'll be making a little customer complaint-," Misen ordered with a smirk.

It's my last day, I'm not going to deal with this...

"I refuse, so do whatever you want."

"H-hey, wait! I was j-just kiddin-!" He backtracked, as I ignored him and left the room, closing the door behind me.

What?

Like I said, it was my last day...so even if he complained, what's the worst that they could do to me? Fire me?

Hah!

...

...

I groaned and sighed in exasperation. This was going to be a long night, wasn't it?

I went back and forth from both rooms to the kitchen and bar multiple times throughout the rest of the night, and while it started off manageable, it soon began to get harder and harder with each round.

It started with the third round of drinks that I brought to room seven. Instructor Uensh was already full-on drunk by then.

"Ayy, the water's back! No, wait...I mean waiter...haha!" She giggled, letting out a hiccup at the end.

"Uh, y-yeah. Can I get you anything else?"

"Are you on the men- *hic* -u? Hehe, that rhymed!" She snorted with laughter.

Uh, I guess that sort of did, but it certainly wasn't the best rhyme.

"J-just another round of beers and some of those fried wings, please!" Requested Instructor Burays with a slight slur, desperately trying to calm her colleague down.

I quickly wrote down the order and left. This was literally the first time I was having customers who happened to be people I know. And it fucking sucked.

Well, whatever.

I headed to room ten, where thankfully everyone still seemed to have their wits about them.

I took their third round of orders, before pausing in front of Misen. I hadn't taken his order during the previous two rounds for their table.

"So, uh, you gonna take my order this time?" He inquired, his pupils slightly dilated.

Hmm, for someone who had been denied twice, he sure didn't look all that sober.

"Huh, well that's weird. You look a bit tipsy, care to explain?"

"Er, I must have gotten slightly inebriated by the smell from the others' drinks-."

"Actually, he just coerced Siert into giving his drink to him," Interrupted Vi, sticking her tongue out at him and giggling.

"O-oh, please don't mind me. I-I don't even deserve to be here, so I don't really need to d-drink anyway, um...," Stuttered Siert.

Seriously. How was this guy among the Academy's top five?

"Well, I don't like being lied to, but I guess there's no need to be childish. Alright, Ragiu. I'll take your order if you say please while down on your hands and knees," I replied, imitating his smirk.

His eyebrow twitched in annoyance, but after contemplating it for a few seconds...he actually did it.

...huh, that...had been a lot easier that I'd have ever expected it to be.

Wow, guess he must not have felt too good about being left out of the first two rounds of drinks. Even if he had been a bit drunk...that had been way too easy to even feel satisfying.

Well, then...back to room seven.

Thankfully, it went relatively smoothly this time around. As I was about to leave, Instructor Trocuelo stopped me and whispered.

"Uh, Kuro...I would really appreciate it if you would keep this side of Instructor Uensh's...er, personality to yourself, it wouldn't be a good look for the Academy if-."

"Oh, don't worry about that. Telling people that an instructor tried to hit on me would be way too embarrassing," I assured him, before leaving the room.

The next round to room ten went smoothly, though they were starting to get pretty drunk.

As I returned to room seven, I began to feel a sense of paranoia. The last few rounds had gone surprisingly smoothly, and I was getting some serious 'calm before the storm' vibes. Okay, just take it easy. It's all in your head, just go in, and-.

I immediately regretted opening the door.

Instructor Uensh grabbed me and pulled me in, while giggling and letting out hiccups.

"Hehe, you won't get away this time!"

Why didn't I just quit without working this last shift!?

"You shouldn't...do that, Lidui," Mumbled Instructor Burays, resting her head on the table, her eyes completely glossy and half-closed.

Great, she was drunk too.

"Oh, shut up, Falm! You suck!" She chuckled in reply.

She had an iron grip around my arm, and no matter how much I struggled, I couldn't break free.

"Don't do a-anything you'll regret...flirting with shtudents is, uh, bad. Yeah," Slurred Instructor Trocuelo, finishing his drink.

Real helpful, man!

"You can't fool me, Paark! I saw...you. Yeah! I saw you whispering to the waiter when he was here before...you just want him for yourself! *hic* I didn't know you swung that way!"

He didn't reply, instead staring at a scratch on the wall with great interest and intrigue. Instructor Uensh then grabbed my face tightly with her free hand and brought it close to hers. She reeked of alcohol so strongly that I could barely even breathe.

"Hey, I know you...you're the kid who asked a question during my lecture like a month ago! How dare you!?" She growled, her expression changing from a seductive one to one filled with drunken rage.

Okay, well this is taking a turn. Had she been holding a grudge over that question? I don't even remember what I asked!

Something about ice or steam?

Her grip on my arm grew tighter and tighter to the point where I was pretty sure that the bone in my forearm was cracking.

"Y-you sure seem different than you are at the Academy, huh, Instructor Uensh?" I chuckled nervously, desperately trying to free my arm from her deathly grip.

"Hmm...you aren't that bad looking, so I guess I'll forgive you for asking a question and making my lecture longer. Pfft, and just call me Lidui, I hate being reminded of my job! Don't even get me started on-!"

She's not listening to a word I'm saying, is she? Well, I didn't have to get her started on it, because she started ranting anyway.

Most of what she said was pretty incoherent, though I learnt a few interesting things from what I could decipher.

As it turns out, she was the daughter of the Academy Headmaster, Raedal Yiserir. She had been an A-Ranked Adventurer before, and had an arranged marriage a few years ago, that's why her last name was different to the Headmaster. But her husband, who had also been an Adventurer, was killed on a quest, just a couple of days after they got married.

According to her, she had never wanted to be an Adventurer, but before she knew it, she had somehow ended up as one by...going with the flow.

Her words, not mine.

And she had never wanted to get married, especially because of her thing for younger men, but apparently it was too much trouble to convince her father to call off the engagement, so she went through with it. After he died, she used that as an excuse to act heartbroken and retired from Adventuring.

She then became a shut-in, and according to her, it was the happiest time of her life. But eventually, her father got fed up of her slacking off and gave her a choice to either get back to being an Adventurer, or become an instructor at the Adventurer Academy to mold the next generation. She had picked the latter in the end, but wasn't exactly happy about it.

So basically...she was an overgrown brat.

Anyway, after a good twenty minutes of ranting and complaining, she finally passed out, her grip on my arm loosening. The last words she uttered before she lost consciousness were...

"It's, like, a curse...you know? *hic* being born so talented...is a...curse..."

I was finally free! Damn it, how long had I been stuck listening to her backstory!?

The other two instructors had fallen asleep too. I quickly left the room, rushed over to the bar to let the manager know that everyone in room seven had passed out, and then headed for room ten.

Okay...I just had to power through this night a little bit longer.

I took a deep breath and entered the room. I just didn't feel like knocking anymore at this point.

"H-hey, you guys still want to order?" I inquired, poking my head in.

Vi was swirling the alcohol in her glass and giggling, Siert was huddled in the corner by himself, while Misen was bickering with Fuo. Ekai was the only one who noticed me, and after a quick glance as his peers, turned to me and said.

"I think we've had enough to drink. We'll just take some fries, wings and cheese bites," He answered.

"Huh!? Look at Mr Number One, taking it upon himself to speak for all of us! Are you kidding me!? I'm just getting started here!" Declared Misen.

No surprise, he was even more annoying when he was drunk.

Well, if there's one takeaway from this night, it's that I'll probably avoid drinking...I'd prefer not to lose control of myself like everyone today seemed to be doing.

"Kuro! Join us!" Called out Vi, reaching out to pull me by my arm, but missing completely. She stared at her hand in confusion.

The drinks they had ordered had been pretty strong, but I still wasn't expecting them to get this drunk after just four rounds.

Then again, the type of customers I usually encountered in one of these private rooms were adults who were used to drinking and had higher tolerance levels. I doubted that these five drank that often. I guess the instructors weren't frequent drinkers either, since they had gotten drunk even faster than this group had.

Or maybe they all just naturally weak tolerance levels.

"I'm just saying...do you have to look all pissy every minute of every single day? I've literally never seen your face make any other expression," Stated Misen, staring at Fuo's annoyed face.

Her expression got more and more annoyed with every word he spoke.

"Yeah? Well, no one likes you!" She retorted, her words slurring.

"I must apologize for this embarrassing display," Said Ekai, bowing to me apologetically as they began arguing back and forth.

"O-oh, uh...don't worry about it. So, uh...just the fries, wings and cheese bites?" I replied, looking for an excuse to get out of the room.

"Heyyy, are you ignoring me, Kuro?" Moaned Vi, tugging on my sleeve, her expression making it clear that she didn't have a shred of sobriety left in her right now.

"Oh, he wasn't ignoring you," Said Misen, before his trademark smirk appeared, "He was just saying that if you can sing non-stop for half an hour, he'll bring us everything on the menu for free!"

A few seconds later, Vi began singing in an off-key, incoherent and loud tone, with no one able to stop her.

"Dick move," I growled at Misen.

"Hah! That's what you get for not taking my orders!"

"This is exactly why no one likes you," Chimed in Fuo, frowning in irritation at Vi's awful singing.

I needed to get her to stop ASAP, no doubt people would start complaining soon. It was unlikely that I'd be able to stop her using force. In that case...yeah, that might work. I leaned in close and whispered into her ear.

"Hey, Vi...remember that one thing that happened in the infirmary after our fight? The truth is...I didn't forget."

That shut her up.

"H-huh, wha-!? Wh-what did you say?"

"Hmm? I didn't say a thing. You must be hearing things."

Her dazed expression was a mix of confusion and concern. Eh whatever, I doubt she'll remember any of this.

"Tch, you win. Guess I underestimated you again. What exactly did you say to her, anyway?" Inquired Misen curiously, letting out a hiccup.

I ignored him, quickly re-confirmed their order with Ekai, and then hurriedly exited the room.

My busy night ended not long after I brought the food they'd ordered, as they finally left. Not sure what had happened to the instructors, but room seven was empty, so they must have woken up and left at some point. I headed to the staff room and collapsed onto a chair, letting out an exhausted sigh of relief.

This had been a mistake. I should have just quit without working a last shift. After changing back into my normal clothes and collecting my final pay, I headed back to the inn. I wanna sleep. I wanna sleep so bad right now.

I sighed as I entered the inn, petting the cat inside that was usually asleep by the front desk. As I began to approach the stairs, I ran into the manager, who greeted me.

"Ah, Mr Kuro, back from work? You look quite worn out."

"Oh, yeah. It was a long night. Sure feels good to be home."

"Haha, I sure never expected to have a customer who stays here long enough to call it home. Not that I'm complaining, especially since it means that I have a guaranteed stream of income, not to mention that you always pay on time, but wouldn't you be more comfortable in one of those apartment buildings or a small house?"

"Nah, I don't really need that much space, my room here is more than adequate, plus I don't have that many possessions. Besides, those places are too expensive," I shrugged, beginning to head up the stairs.

"Well, feel free to stay here as long as you want! Though, not literally free, of course!"

I reached the top of the stairs and headed for my room, unlocking the door, before entering and shutting it behind me. With my last drop of energy, I kicked off my shoes and plopped down onto the bed face first, burying my head in the pillow, as I began to drift off almost instantly.

With that, my final day of working part-time jobs...came to an end.

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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism! Also, check out my Instagram account @aimdaqs for posts relating to this book.

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