Don't Concern Yourself With That Book

Chapter 342

Translator: yun

As the white light engulfed Castor, he was reminded of the emotions he thought he had long forgotten. He recalled what it was like to feel despair. To think this was despair. He might have been mad but he could do anything he wanted. That was the man he was.

So why?

Why?

Why couldn’t he have Ashley Rosé? This burning passion he had for her had set him ablaze. He had gone thirsty as though he would die if he couldn’t have her.

He needed someone to understand him. He needed someone to save his soul that had gone mad after going insane for he had regressed thousands of times.

The white space he found himself in was enormous. No matter how he struggled or how much divinity he used, the white continued to swallow him whole like a swamp.

He was forced to move across space and time motionlessly. The wind that carried the smell of sand. Looking back at it again, this didn’t look too familiar to him. Castor stared at the ground he was stepping on under his feet. Where was he?

Instead of the god who had abandoned him, he believed that he had found that god in her. He had been confident. He had been confident that everything would go his way.

he believed it would, the moment he first saw her.

“She is exactly like me.”

The moment they first met. The moment their eyes of different colours crossed, he could see that she would make choices different from his in the future.

he had realised at that moment. That if she were to awaken, she would save him. And that if he were to leave her as she was, she would end up as a mere sacrifice to the crystal.

That was the reason. From his point of view, killing Ashley Rosé was the best way he could think of to save her.

If she had a problem with dying, wouldn’t she just get used to it after dying a couple more times? Just like he did.

Instead of treating the broken wings of the bird that was meant to fly, he had chosen to lock the bird in a huge cage.

He never thought what he was doing was wrong. If he had made the wrong choice, he could just get rid of her. Like the pesky pests that would chirp at his sides so long ago.

The world could be divided into two types of people, those who could understand him and those who didn’t. Castor removed all the weeds. Out of everyone, the only one who fell into the latter was her. She was the only one who could save him.

To become a powerful templar like himself and to gain the power to see the future. How nice would it have been if she could save him?

Alas. A flower would have never bloomed in hell and the bird eventually flew away. He wanted to have the girl who could never blossom by his side.

“That’s right, this is not the end…”

Castor murmured slowly as he stood in the middle of a vast wasteland. To him, it was obviously unfamiliar. He could at least tell that he was not in the Empire.

But so what?

He just needed to find her. He just needed to find her and convince her otherwise again.

I needed to be the one next to you. No one else could but me! But it was at that moment.

‘I can’t… see?’

Astonished, he realised that he was blind. As soon as he decided to search for Ashley, his vision blackened as though the light in his eyes had turned off.

Even the sounds of the wind he could hear just earlier was nowhere to be found.

“The moment you think of me, you won’t be able to see.”

It was only then did he realise.

“The moment you think of me, you won’t be able to call for me. Or will you be able to hear.”

She had made it so that he would never be able to find her.

In an unknown timeline and an unknown location, Castor howled viciously.

But there was no one around him.

***

When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the Imperial Palace again.

Without a ray of light, it was a silent night where the pale day sky was nowhere to be found. Nothing felt any different from before. But I could sense it.

I could feel the wind blowing. I could see the clouds moving. I noticed the pebbles rolling by and the trees dancing in the wind.

Time was passing by.

I parted my lips before closing them again. I wanted to say something.

‘But what was I going to say?’

There would be no point in expressing my happiness and joy in this empty space since there was no one here to listen.

It was strange. I finally won but why…

Why was only emptiness left in my chest?

I didn’t plan on erasing my memories at first. Because I had been running the entire time in my past life, erasing my memories of him would be like erasing a part of my life.

A life without my memories was not a happy one. I was already aware of how empty it was to lose my memories so I had no plans on feeling that again.

But Castor would believe I had forgotten him. And that was enough.

“… And the fairytale princess lived happily ever after…”

The fairytale princess was supposed to be happy after scaling the thorny vines with her warrior to defeat the dragon.

However, there was nothing for the princess who crossed the vines and defeated the villain with her bare hands without her warrior by her side.

She had saved the world and prevented its destruction but she had long lost what had been precious to her so long ago.

Tears welled in her eyes.

She could hear a bell chime in the distance. The sound of the bell signalled that it was dawn in the space of time that continued to flow.

This feeling of happiness that was as pathetic as a tattered flag was smeared on my lips.

A dazzlingly beautiful night sky, a sky under which I had no one to share this mellow excitement with.

Tears that I could not wipe flowed down my cheek like tributaries.

I had won.

‘Should I fix it now?’

I seemed to have stared at the sky blankly for a long time now. How long had it been? I blinked my eyes.

Funnily enough, the moment my brain turned back on and my rationality returned, my first thought was to repair the Imperial Palace.

Perhaps even more people had been hurt and killed during Castor’s attack on the palace. Wouldn’t it be my responsibility to fix it?

Now that I was completely free of my enemies, fixing the palace would be blessing the citizens still living on the land. Even if no one would know it was a blessing.

I turned my head around slowly. The garden looked hideous with rocky debris scattered everywhere and trees snapped in half.

I spotted something familiar a distance away. I slowly approached before squatting in front of it. It was the diary. I brushed against her slowly. There was no need to rush anything right now.

She did not respond despite being touched. Was it because there was a hole in the middle of her?

I brushed against the ends of the hole as I stared at it. No tears fell. I had no reason to be sad. Because I was sinking in grief so deep, sorrow was overflowing my heart.

‘If I open her up, prophecies might write themselves without warning.’

I was afraid another prophetic diary entry would appear. For a long time, I stared at the diary before flipping open its pages.

I could feel something rustle behind me. The person behind me did not put in any effort to hide their presence but I continued to stare at the diary for a long time.

‘I don’t feel like doing anything.’

Like someone who was experiencing burnout, my exhaustion and this emptiness was preventing me from lifting my fingertips.

But slowly, I turned my head.

“Who are you?”

There was no one else in the midst but there was an unfamiliar man standing in front of me.

His black hair that made a stark contrast against the dawn sky was flying in the wind. I was a little wary at first, thinking that it was Castor but the misunderstanding was quickly cleared. The hair belonged to a completely different face.

The eyes that were staring back at me were purple in colour. A very different colour from gold. I realised that asking who he was was useless.

“I don’t know why you are here.”

I placed the diary in my hand down before getting up.

“The God of Death.”

As hard as it was to believe, this man was the God of Death. he looked exactly like he did in the vision I had containing Kaltanias.

Moreover, the skin of my body which had now become sensitive to divinity, continued to tingle. As though my body was forcing me to worship the man in front of me.

“Am I, dreaming?”

As I watched the god, I wondered why I was so calm. How could I have reacted if he had met me a long time ago? Would I have been shocked or afraid? However, now I could not feel anything as though I had more important things to do.

“No, you are not.”

His heavy yet pristine voice denied gracefully.

“The place you are in is real and the present you’re standing in is right so don’t doubt yourself.”

He was stiff but he sounded friendly. I raised my head in wonder. Was it just me or did it seem like he favoured me?

“Why are you here?”

Honestly, I was not pleased with his appearance.

“Have you been dying because of how useless you’ve been?”

I reacted sharply.

‘If he had really existed this whole time…’

Why didn’t he show up to help while I trembled under the weight of my misfortune or while I was fighting for my life with Castor just moments ago? Ah, was involving an almighty god cheating?

I wondered if my expression revealed all my thoughts.

“I was only just able to appear before you now.”

The God of Death answered me as though he could read my thoughts.

“I had been sealed in the crystal and I couldn’t leave until the sealed divinity completely dissipated.”

“That meant…”

“The Power of the Lord that had sealed me has vanished.”

What did he mean when he said the Power of the Lord had vanished? I continued staring at the god as I thought about the crystal he was sealed in. Did something big happen in the Imperial Palace while I was fighting Castor?

“Castor Dje Kaltanias was a human whose existence was close to a god’s. Using the last of his Power of the Lord, he had created a space of tangled time. In the process, the power that had sealed the crystal dissipated.”

So that was why he had been released after being sealed for thousands of years and was why I could witness a god walking around the Imperial Palace. I titled my head at the strange situation I found myself in.

“I see. Then are you in the middle of a walk?”

I knew he couldn’t have been but I asked without caring.

“No. I came to see you.”

I could tell clearly that he was very partial towards me. His expression remained unchanged but he still spoke sweetly.

I thought it was strange. I recalled seeing him shed genuine tears as he sat next to Kaltanias. I would have never imagined seeing him like this after witnessing that sight.

“You were the one who gathered the energy of the Lord–who had already disappeared from these lands–to stop Castor Dje Kaltanias from becoming a new god. The one who protected the land from destruction. Ashley Rosé Kaltanias. On behalf of the gods, I would like to reward you.”

The absurdity of what he just said left my mouth agape. I was just bewildered.

“A reward?”

As I wondered how I should approach this situation, the god nodded.

“Ha. Hahaha…”

Anger flared through my emptiness.

“I don’t need it.”

How could I describe this feeling–it was like a parent that had abandoned and left me alone this whole time came to resuscitate this relationship? Why now, after I had lost everything and barely won!

“I understand how you feel, but I advise you to hear me out.”

Even as I lashed out at him furiously, the god remained calm.

“I am the god who rules the underworld. It is a reward I can grant you with my authority. As a reward, I will grant you permission to travel up the river.”

The river that flowed through the underworld was the River of Styx and what flowed into the river would never return. Which was why an oath sworn on this river could never be broken. As it was irrevocable.

“… What?”

Hence, what the god was offering me was a chance to undo the irreversible. But all I could think of at that moment was one thing.

“What, what does that mean…”

“You are right.”

The god replied firmly.

“You can return to the moment it all started.”