Don't Concern Yourself With That Book

Chapter 267

Translator: yun

My hand that was intertwined with his was forcibly lifted to the sky and before I could protest, I found myself leaning against the sofa and staring at Dane. A deep blue night sky could be seen behind Dane.

“Why won’t you look at me?”

The night sky was slowly blocked out by his face and before I noticed, Dane had taken up my entire line of sight. As he placed his forehead on mine and stared at me, the lips he slowly parted brushed against my nose. The edge of his eyebrows curled up like eaves before shuddering gently.

“Look at me.”

His kind voice lowered gently. The eyes that were hanging above me like the moon were red. And in this darkness, they were staring right at me without losing its lustre.

“The first time I met you, it was at the end of summer”

I could feel his breath right below my nose.

“And after we first met, I’ve only looked towards you for the next 10 years.”

His lips crashed onto mine like a wave. Even my moans were swallowed up by his lips and it was so sudden, I couldn’t manage to stop him. His fingers dug into mine, tightening his grip on our interlocked hands. I could feel the ends of my hair standing due to the static generated from being buried into the sofa. As I was forced further back into the sofa, I could feel his lips swooping from above.

“Umph…”

It was clear from how his tongue wrapped around my own. As our spit was exchanged and our lips parted and closed, the kiss went on for a while.

“Ha… Why…”

Finally, his lips parted from mine before Dane mumbled.

“I’m not avoiding you though?”

I gave a faint smile at the vague sensation at the end of my nose. I already knew. The fact that nothing had changed. Dane would never force me to do something I hadn’t agreed with. Even now, his hand that was holding mine was soft and his gaze remained heartbreakingly sweet. I didn’t want to see this beautiful person saddened because of me.

“Ha… I’m sorry. Dane, I don’t remember whatever you had told me.”

“I know.”

Dane had mentioned that he knew a lot about how I was as a child. He had met the 30 year old ‘Ahn’ who was residing in the 6 year old Ashley’s body. But I still did not know what my real name was. Nor did I have any memories of that day and any idea what he was talking about. The memories of those days were kept away from me before ruefully crumbling away.

“I know there’s no use saying anything.”

Dane flashed a sweet smile.

“But, you know, Ashley. You can give me a chance.”

He pleaded with me to give him some time. At the fact that I couldn’t imagine how he spent all this time with the memories of the day only he had, I closed my eyes.

“Just look at me for one day. No… Just one hour.”

Dane knew me. Perhaps he knew me more than I knew myself. Before I said anything, he already had an inkling about my deaths. He was an incredibly intelligent man who managed to capture the emperor’s attention for his abilities.

“Why not me?”

That was why he must know. Nothing was going to change like this. Emotions could not be controlled at will.

“You told me that you wouldn’t be able to remember me. You told me it’d be better to just forget about you.”

I was the one who couldn’t remember him. He was in love with someone who no longer existed in this world.

“I was planning on doing that. I was going to act like I had forgotten. I promised myself I would never tell you this. But, but Ashley… it hurts so much.”

HIs hand, that was clenching my shoulders, couldn’t bring itself to exert more force. Even at this moment, he was worrying about hurting me. Ah… I contorted my face as if I was about to cry. My heart was aching as if it had been sliced into several thin pieces.

“You don’t love me.”

As he leaned against my shoulders, he spoke as though he was squeezing the words out of him.

“It’s too much.”

To the point the man who lived for me was finding it difficult to breathe.

“It hurts too much.”

He was running out of breath.

“I knew that you would never love me. I knew. But I couldn’t stop or bring myself to stop.”

I could feel my fingers trembling.

“I love you, Ashley.”

Even with his face contorted, Dane smiled. A murky image–like that of a multitude of colours being painted upon a sketchbook–was splayed out in front of me. He was now like a painting of which its colour could not be determined.

“Hello, I am your brother.”

Tears smudged his expression. Silence befell us like curtains in the room without a single gust of wind. As if I had been sent back in time, I had found myself standing in the midst of a spring day yet again. And on that day, young Dane and young me were standing facing each other. That was our first meeting in my memories.

“Brother?”

“Mhm. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.”

Having just returned from the western territories, I was someone bound by her listlessness as I was struggling to come to grips with my reincarnation into this reality.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ashley.”

“I want to be someone precious to you.”

I thought he had merely said all those in passing. Since I didn’t understand what he was saying back then, I had just brushed him off as someone strange. I had remained indifferent to his approaches. The feelings he had grew over time and gradually changed.

“If you want me to be, I can be a night that will never pass.”

Whenever I was with him, I felt cosy as if I had been wrapped in his arms.

“I like everything about you. Ashley.”

The kindness he had shown me due to his memories of a day I could not recall wrapped around me like a string of feathers. There were moments when I wanted to get drunk on the comfort he provided for a while. He was someone precious to me. The one who always smiled towards me. The one who shone down on me like the sun. The sun that warmed my icy exterior.

Perhaps things could have been different between us.

Unfortunately, though we were close, we didn’t know enough about each other. The fact that I had forgotten that he had met me before once. Time had passed and now we had struck a wall. When I opened my eyes, I found Dane looking down at me.

“I’ve been hoping for something my whole life. Just for this one day. Could you hear me out?”

He knew how this love would end. I could never understand or accept his love for me because I couldn’t remember that day.

“Just once. Let me call you by your Amasia.”

Even though I was aware of how abrupt this would end, I could not bring myself to shake him off. Just as I thought, love was something too difficult and too mysterious to understand. Even after dumping all that was weighing on my heart to Amor, I was still staring at my misfortunes right in the eye. So, I could not understand his desire for merely one day from me after waiting for 10 years.

“Alright.”

Unable to deprive him of what he had been wishing for for so long, I nodded slowly.

“Ro… sé.”

HIs lips could be seen trembling slightly.

“Rosé.”

“… Yes.”

His moist lips slowly lowered towards me. He swooped down as gently as a bird’s peck. He gently bit my lower lip before letting go of it which prompted me to pat my lips on my own. With his lips slowly digging into mine, he massaged my trembling fingers as if to comfort me. His grip on me was so loose, I could shake him off at any time.

I slowly grabbed his hand.

Way back in the past, the past of which I could not remember, did I like him? I couldn’t think of an answer so this was the best I could do for him. He was a shadow. He was the emperor’s shadow and the shadow that protected me as I fought my battles in the darkness. His smile that reminded me of the passing seasons punched a hole in my heart. The fact that I couldn’t return his love made my tears flow.

“Ashley, even if you never love me back–”

Dane said slowly as he wiped my tears away.

“I will always support you.”

***

The arrival of morning was a fair punishment. It would come whether or not you wish for tomorrow.

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Dane was acting the same as ever but I averted my gaze because I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. He seemed to know how I was feeling but he was acting oblivious. This was going to take time. Would we be able to remain together even as time passed us by? A small thorn that was stuck in a corner of my heart was whispering to me that we wouldn’t. I closed my eyes.

After we finished our meal, I headed to Abel’s office. The person that was meant to escort me was already waiting in front of the door. The woman, who had introduced herself as one of the Templars of Chaos, was wearing a maid’s costume. I was momentarily bemused by how deep the Templars of Chaos had rooted themselves into this place.

“Are you here?”

After opening the door and entering the room, Pontus, who had been sitting, slowly got up.

“I’ve been waiting.”

Next to him was Abel. For reasons unknown, he looked displeased.

“Why are you both here and not in class?”

Pontus closed his eyes. A gentle smile that suited his image spread on the boy’s face.

“Since Abel has no classes today, I find no reason to attend.”

“Look here, Head Templar. Whether or not I’m there, you still skip classes.”

Abel, the 3rd Prince, had been missing for more than 10 years. If Abel had chosen to settle here all this time, that meant he had been here for at least 10 years now. He must have stayed here long enough for the Templars of Snow and the Sea to cooperate with him this much. Come to think of it, the Kingdom of Leaf was not too far from the west of the Empire where the City of Snow and the Sea was located.

“Alright. You mentioned you had something to say. What is it?”

At the chair Pontus pulled out for me, I spoke without reservation. Abel let out a sound of admiration. As I met his dark green eyes, I comfortably leaned back against the seat and crossed my legs. Understanding my intentions to get straight to the point without beating around the bush, Pontus spoke.

“Would you please take a look at this?”

Pontus held out a small brooch.

“This is the Emblem of Death.”

The brooch was shaped strangely like a horn. As I followed the wave pattern drawn on it closely, I spotted the jewel decorating its ends. Within the purple jewel jutting out of the brooch was a key.

“Horns, keys, daffodils and amethyst. These are all symbols of the God of Death.”

Touching the brooch, I felt for the bumps and curves under my fingertips. Pontus had held this out to me as if it was something precious but it looked crude and ordinary.

“My name has been engraved on it. I’m not a Templar of Death but I had received it as a gift from Auresia many years ago.”

I turned the brooch around before looking up.

“Now, barely a few of these can be found but originally, every Templar of Death carries one. That’s why this can also serve as evidence of collusion between the Templars of Snow and the Sea and the Temple of Death.”

Immediately, panic paralysed me. Unable to hide my feelings, I flinched.

“This is also my weakness. If it was made known that you had obtained this from a Templar of Snow and the Sea, I will be branded as a traitor.”

“… Why are you giving this to me?”

T/N:

help i realised i forgot to post on monday so this is the double update you were all supposed to get!!