Deranged Writer's Afterword

I'm trying to keep a straight face.

It hurts a lot.

I look down at my knee which was bleeding and then look at Nurse Mariam, who was patching up my knee.

Nurse Mariam was a kind and beautiful lady. Ever since I've come to this orphanage she's been, my only friend. The others were my friends too, but they stopped talking to me as soon as I said that my mommy would be back for me. Everyone's all gloomy here, except for Nurse Mariam. She's always fun and happy.

After she's done patching me up, she looks up at me and gives me a kind smile.

'' You're gonna get healed very soon, John.''

I nod my head enthusiastically, seeing my response, she lets out a little chuckle and stands up, she sits in the chair inside her office and tucks her brown hair back before saying,

'' How was your day ?''

'' It was good, miss.''

She stares at me for a moment before asking,

'' How did you scrape your knee, John ?''

'' I fell, miss.''

She stays silent for a minute before repeating her question,

'' How did you scrape your knee, John?''

I avoid her eyes and try to lie again but, she warns me,

'' Don't lie to me, John.''

'' They pushed me and I fell.''

Sighing, she asks in a serious voice.

'' Why did they push you ?''

I could see the concern in her eyes, my mother had the same look sometimes. But the day she left she didn't have that look. She looked relieved when she left me there.

I wondered if Nurse Mariam would ever look at me like that, relieved to be away from me. I push aside these thoughts and answer her question,

'' They said that I deserved it because I was so bad to my mother, she had to abandon me.''

Nurse Mariam gets up and walks toward me and sits beside me on the bed at the nurse's office.

She hugs me, her warmth feels nice. As she embraced me, she whispers into my ears.

'' Your mommy didn't leave you because you were bad, John. I... don't know why you're mother left you. But what I do know is that you are one of the most brightest and talented children I have ever met and never let anyone take that away from you.''

Hearing her words, my eyes tear up and I start wailing. She stops hugging me and pats my head with a smile on her face.

'' I'll talk to the father about the bullying. Just make sure to tell me if anything happens okay ?''

I nod my head and get up to leave, but before I could, a man enters the nurse's office. He looked young, he had an angry expression on his face as he barged into the nurse's office without even asking for permission.

'' What the fuck, Mariam?

Nurse Mariam points her finger toward me and raises her eyebrows. The man looks at me for a second and then decides to ignore my presence and starts talking to Nurse Mariam again,

'' Are you ignoring me, you ungrateful bitch ?.''

I knew the words he was saying were bad, but I couldn't understand what they meant.

Nurse Mariam looks at me with a complicated expression and tells me to go outside. I comply and walk outside the office and act like closing the door, but I don't forget to leave a gap so that I could hear their conversation.

'' I just asked you for a small deposit, so that I can start a business that makes us some real money, instead of the money this crappy orphanage gives you and what do you do ?.... You break up with me over a text! A FUCKING text! Mariam. Is this all our relationship meant to you, you little cunt!''

'' Please calm down, Mathew. I can't see you anymore. You've wasted my money and time countless times. I know about you and Angela ... I don't want to see you ever again... So please just leave already.''

Mathew remains silent, his face had turned into a tomato, and he looked like he was about to explode.

He lunges at her and forces her onto the bed in her office.

'' You're a fucking bitch, that's what you are. Do you think you can get rid of me that easily ?.... I'll never leave you alone. What are you gonna do about it ?''

He caresses her lips with his fingers before adding on,

'' Me and Angela, that was just an accident, babe. Your sister came onto me, I was drunk then, otherwise I would have never-''

Before he could complete what he was saying, Mariam spits in his face and adds,

'' You're a fucking asshole, Mathew.''

Mathew raises his hands upwards to strike Nurse Mariam, but before he can do anything, I walk in and say in a loud voice,

'' Miss Mariam, Father Tim is calling you.''

They both get startled by my voice and get up.

The bad man, Mathew glares at Nurse Mariam before leaving. I walk after him slowly.

The nurse's office was on the second floor of the orphanage, as the bad man was going down the stairs, I give a little push and he tumbles down hitting his head.

I hear a gasp from behind me and find that Nurse Mariam was standing behind me. It seems that she had followed me here. I smile at her as to say,

'' You're going to be fine now, Nurse Mariam.''

'' What- No. What did you do, John?... Oh God...''

She puts both of her hands over her head.

'' Why are you upset miss, I did this for you.''

Nurse Mariam backs away from me, her eyes were filled with fear. She wanted to be away from me just like my mother.

I look down at the ground and say,

'' You're gonna abandon me too aren't you ?''

Nurse Mariam stops backing away from me. She looks into my eyes and takes a deep breath before saying,'' I'm not going to abandon you, John''

Nurse Mariam kneels to match my height and looks into my eyes.

'' What happened here was an accident... an accident, do you understand, John ?''

I nod my head and say, '' Yes, Nurse Mariam.''

~~~~~

I open my eyes, but immediately close them as the room I was in, was too bright. While I waited for my eyes to adjust to the light, I thought about the dream I had.

Nurse Mariam was the closest thing to a mother I had in my previous life after my mother threw me away. Even after she had quit working in the orphanage, she still came to visit me. We had a very healthy relationship if you ignore the fact that she was my accomplice in murder.

That's right.

This wasn't the first time I had killed a human being and it very well wouldn't be the last. Now don't assume that I'm some kinda psychopath just because I killed somebody. I might be a sociopath but I'm pretty sure I'm not a psychopath,

Probably...

My eyes finally adjust to the light in the room I was currently in, but instead of a ceiling, when I opened my eyes, I saw a blue screen.

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Bloodlust skill has leveled up !

Skill name : Bloodlust

Level: E, kills: 0/50

A unique skill that allows the user to let go of the fear of death and the nerve endings of the user get deactivated with the help of mana to completely erase pain and also gives the user a larger boost in strength. The only downside is that the user goes crazy upon the activation of the skill. The duration of the skill is 10 minutes.

------------------

It seems that the 'Bloodlust' skill had leveled up when I had killed Mark. It was a good thing but the skill seemed even more ominous now. During the time I had activated the skill, it felt as if something fundamental inside me had broken, it all felt like a dream, but it did happen, I cut of Mark's balls...

Ouch...

Mark Lauder deserved it though. I wasn't feeling guilty for killing him cause why even bother ?

I also hated him, so killing him actually made me kind of happy.

Humans are such hypocrites, I mean think about it ,we all commit a form of murder on a daily basis, we smash ants and deprive them of their life, we hunt and kill all kinds of animals just for fun, isn't this murder too ?

Then when someone's kills a human being, they're all like, '' Oh God, that's so horrible.''.

So in short, all humans are hypocrites.

Humans all have a major god complex as well, we think we own the world. The top of the food chain. We destroy the natural habitats of animals and stuff. I too have a god complex, but mine's justified as I literally created this world.

I may say all this but I don't actually give a crap about the environment or animals or anything in general really. The only reason as to why I'm pointing these things out is because of the fact that I wanted to justify my actions.

It's a person's nature to justify anything they do even if it's something terrible like murder.

Wait.

Where the fuck am I ?

I was in completely white room with one of those mirrors, you see in police dramas. The glass window through which the police would observe the movements of the criminal.

I try to get up from the bed I was currently in, but failed as one of my hands where tied with handcuffs to the railing of the bed, I give up on trying to get up and just lie back on the bed.

'' Hello, X.''

Suddenly a voice reached my ears, startling the hell out of me,

'' That's a weird ass name,''

Another voice can also be heard.

'' We're gonna come in now. Are you willing to cooperate with us ?''

The first person to speak asks me as if she was requesting me but it was clear as day that it was not a request but an order.

'' Yes'' , I say a bit too loud as I was unsure as to where exactly these people where. Suddenly a door opens, which for the record I didn't even knew existed and through the door comes in two individuals that I was familiar with,

Amanda Holler and Francis Lamar.

~~~~