Cultivation Chat Group

Translator: GodBrandy  Editor: Kurisu

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “Forever alone +1”

Fairy Lychee: “Forever alone +2”

I’m that little white crane at the edge of the Earth’s End: “Young man, I have a divine book here called ❮Bachelor Technique❯ that has the requirement of one being a single dog to practice. Are you interested in practicing it? I can give it to you for free.”

Medicine Master: “Forever alone + 3”

Medicine Master: “Fellow Daoist White Crane, don’t destroy our formation!”

Tyrannical Song: “…”

Monk Swallow Cloud: “Benefactor Song, did you finally see the light?”

Tyrannical Song: “…”

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “[Picture of a cute puppy].”

This time, when Guo Da sent the dog head emote, the people who were chatting in the ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’ suddenly seemed to have been choked by Mr. Destiny, and instantly quieted down.

Everyone knew that the next thing that Guo Da was going to send was definitely going to be the [Picture of the head of a dog being furiously rubbed] emote for no reason at all, but nobody liked being rubbed by Guo Da.

If he wanted to make fun of himself, then everyone was fine with that.

But this time… unlike what would usually happen, Guo Da didn’t reply.

Strange, did Guo Da go offline?

Should they continue to make fun of little friend Shuhang? But what if Guo Da were to come out again and send the [Picture of the head of a dog being furiously rubbed] emote as they were making fun of Shuhang?

While everyone was in thought, [System Message Notification: Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da has been muted by the administrator Venerable Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue for 5 minutes.]

Venerable Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue: “Okay, let’s continue chatting.”

This way, they didn’t have to worry about Guo Da popping up and rubbing people’s heads.

Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “Senior Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue, wonderful move.”

Fairy Lychee: “Hahaha, I just directly messaged Senior Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue, and asked him to come over and mute him.”

Venerable Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue: “? You guys continue, I still have something to attend to. I’ll be going first. Pay attention to the time, I only banned Guo Da for five minutes.”

Frice Reckless Mad Saber: “Come, let’s continue with the topic just now. Little friend Shuhang, from what we can understand from what you said just now, the fellow daoist who fainted because of Creation’s singing is a fairy maiden, right? You used the word ‘her’ just now.”

True Monarch Northern River: “Also, do you know why we said ‘forever alone’? A charming fairy maiden just fainted right by your side, yet you don’t even want to take good care of her, and instead want to leave her alone and let her wake up by herself?”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “Shuhang, you don’t understand women.”

I’m that little white crane at the edge of the Earth’s End: “To be honest, I always thought that men like Song Shuhang only appeared in ‘jokes’. I didn’t think that such a thing could happen in real life.”

Tyrannical Song: “Did you guys misunderstand something from what I said? Although she is a fairy maiden and could even be considered a beauty, she’s taken already. Moreover, my EQ is still above average. ”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “Boring, if the fairy maiden is already taken, then what’s with your ambiguous message?”

Monk Swallow Cloud: “And here I thought I had the opportunity to lead little friend Shuhang into Buddhism…”

Song Shuhang: “…” So, now it’s my fault?

Frice Reckless Mad Saber: “Is the fairy maiden married?”

Tyrannical Song: “Her wedding is soon to take place, probably.”

Frice Reckless Mad Saber: “So she isn’t married yet, right? In this case, you still have a chance! The man isn’t married and the woman isn’t married.”

[System Message Notification: Frice Reckless Mad Saber has been muted by the administrator Venerable Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue for 1 hour. ]

Venerable Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue: “Fellow Daoist Frice Reckless, you already changed your daoist name, so can’t you at least prevent yourself from seeking death? Be careful lest people come to your doorstep and chop you up.”

True Monarch Northern River: “Frice Reckless is indeed more reckless than Thrice Reckless, and even his death-seeking behavior has worsened… sigh.”

I’m that little white crane at the edge of the Earth’s End: “Let’s get serious, Shuhang, it’s not too good for you to simply leave the fairy maiden in one corner. At least carry her to a bed and let her rest there.”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “Regarding soothing the damage caused by Dharma King Creation’s singing, I can recommend a method—taking a medicine bath or a hot bath. After I listened to his singing previously, I had become really dizzy, but after I went home and took a bath, my mind felt refreshed.”

Monk Swallow Cloud: “Little friend Shuhang said that the fairy maiden is still unconscious. How would she be able to take a hot bath? If little friend Shuhang were to carry her to a hot bath, that would cause quite a big problem.”

As the group continued to chat, the topic in the group suddenly changed again.

From what was initially ‘curing the effect of Dharma King Creation’s singing’, they switched to the topic of ‘hot bath’.

Treasure Forging Heavenly Mansion’s Yang Xian: “? Speaking of hot bath, I remember that there are many people in the world of cultivation who sell their bathwater at sky-high prices.”

Tyrannical Song: “?”

Tyrannical Song: “I’ve heard that there are some weirdos who would taste and drink the bathwater of beautiful women… There are such people in the world of cultivation as well?”

After giving it some thought, it really did seem quite possible. Most cultivators were also human beings. It would not be surprising that some cultivators would have certain strange fetishes to them.

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “Hahahaha, Yang Xian, you are really mean.”

Fairy Lychee: “Seriously speaking, in the world of cultivation, the bathwater of beauties would not be sold for much. The looks of a person, whether they are beautiful or not, is not important; cultivators would look at other factors. I can also be considered a beauty in the world of cultivation, but nobody would want to buy my bathwater. However, there are many people in our group who want to buy True Monarch Tyrant Flood Dragon’s bathwater. ”

Song Shuhang: “…”

True Monarch Tyrant Flood Dragon’s bathwater?

A picture emerged in Song Shuhang’s mind—True Monarch Tyrant Flood Dragon was swimming in a bathtub, then after a lap, he got up casually. Then, suddenly, a large group of cultivators rushed over to drink the bathwater.

Disgusting~ This picture was too much, and he dared not continue to think about it.

Tyrant Flood Dragon wants to father a football team: “F*ck, why did you involve me all of a sudden? I haven’t said a word from beginning to end, yet you suddenly dragged me in this matter! Little Lychee, you are not a kind person at all.”

Fairy Lychee: “It’s because I remembered that it was only you, True Monarch Tyrant Flood Dragon, who was able to sell his bathwater for a sky-high price in the group ?.”

Tyrant Flood Dragon wants to father a football team: “That’s the dark past that I can’t bear to look back at, alright? And, that was not bathwater, it was flood dragon soup. That year, that old bastard threw me into a pot with more than 300 kinds of medicinal herbs used for refining. The young me almost died from being played around with; several layers of my skin had even been peeled off. Fortunately, I was lucky, and I was able to escape that wretched fate.”

When Song Shuhang heard this, he got a general gist of what had occured.

He then inquisitively asked, “Then… what happened to that old bastard?”

True Monarch Tyrant Flood Dragon laughed as he said, “Of course I killed him. After running away and practicing for good, the first one I visited was him. If I hadn’t killed him, I would not have gotten rid of my inner demon, being unable to advance further.”

After that, the topic of the Nine Provinces Number One Group had gone back on track.

Fairy Lychee started talking to everyone about the [True Martial Cup, Valkyrie Competition], which was an upcoming event on the True Martial Island. Fairy Lychee fancied the reward for the third place, which was the spiritual beast ‘Cocooned Cow’. This time, she was determined to get it.

Song Shuhang didn’t know much about this, and could only keep his mouth shut. After thinking about it, he exited the chat group page and turned off his phone.

In front of him, Fairy Fleeting Life was still unconscious—from the looks of it, she would stay in such a state for quite a while.

Song Shuhang gave it some thought, and then brought out the treasured saber Broken Tyrant. He willed, and a layer of saber light emerged from Broken Tyrant, propping up Fairy Fleeting Life.

Afterward, Shuhang controlled the treasured saber and moved towards Fairy Fleeting Life’s room.

As soon as he opened the door, he saw Loli Shi rubbing her eyes as she appeared in the distance. “Senior Brother Song, it’s almost time, we have to go to class.”

In the next moment, she blinked as she looked at the unconscious Fairy Fleeting Life behind Song Shuhang, and said, “Senior Brother Song, what have you done to Fairy Fleeting Life?”

“Don’t talk nonsense,” Song Shuhang said. “She passed out after listening to Dharma King Creation’s singing.”

“Oh.” Shi nodded cutely, and then she suddenly asked, “Senior Brother Song, are you interested in adopting a daughter? The cute kind that is very lovely.”

Song Shuhang: “Pfff～”

Shi was very cute, but Shuhang was still a sophomore. He had just turned 18, so how could he adopt a daughter? Did he really look that old?

Loli Shi waved her hands repeatedly as she said, “Senior Brother Song, don’t get me wrong. I don’t want you to take me as your daughter.”

Song Shuhang asked, “So why did you suddenly ask the question?”

“It was Zhu who asked me to.” Shi smiled bitterly, and said, “I also feel that Zhu is too ridiculous, but she practically forced me to ask.”

“Zhu?” Song Shuhang recalled the smaller loli that was with Shi the last time, Shi’s junior sister, who appeared to be even younger than Guoguo.

“Yes, she wants to become an adopted daughter of Senior Brother Song,” Shi said.

Song Shuhang responded, “Why? Don’t tell me that she feels some kind of deep connection with me, I won’t believe that.”

“After recognizing Brother Shuhang as her foster father, she would be able to leave the sect and play in Jiangnan University Town for a while with the excuse of visiting her foster father,” Loli Shi said earnestly.

Song Shuhang: “…”

“Zhu is a bit ridiculous, but after careful consideration, I concluded that this matter would also be beneficial for Senior Brother Song. So, I chose to relay her question to you,” Shi seriously.

Song Shuhang asked, “Beneficial?”

“Zhu’s parents disappeared while exploring some ancient immortal ruins, so she has always been raised by her grandfather. Her grandfather, True Monarch White Pear, is one of the best blacksmiths of our sect. I see that Senior Brother Shuhang has already reached the Fourth Stage, and it is almost time for you to create your own life-bound magical treasure. If Zhu recognizes you as her foster father, then True Monarch White Pear would definitely help Senior Brother Song to create his life-bound magical treasure.”

Song Shuhang asked, “Are you baiting me?”

“Zhu wants to recognize Senior Brother Song as her foster father… but knowing that you would be unlikely to accept, I thought that it would be best to bait you with some good rewards,” Shi said seriously.

Song Shuhang laughed. “Are you this certain that Zhu’s grandfather, True Monarch White Pear, is going to agree with Zhu and let her recognize me as her foster father? You know, my cultivation isn’t high. Moreover, I’m only 18 years old.”

“18 years old is no longer young. In ancient times, people of such age would already father several children.” As Shi said this, her eyes slightly sank. “And, if Zhu wants to recognize someone as her foster father, as long as that person’s character is decent, even if they were an ordinary person, Zhu’s grandfather would still not refuse.”

Zhu’s parents disappeared when she was very young; because of this, True Monarch White Pear would not have the heart to refuse.