Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

At this point, not only Tania was the one wearing a difficult and bitter expression because the words I've said cut deep enough for the realization of their current situation to actually "sink" inside their heads. It was a difficult position to be in their shoes because they were still living lavishly even if the world had already ended, and their lives flipped upside down just because they haven't attended a fucking welcoming party.

However, it didn't take long before Shirley had another realization of sorts because not only did I prevent her "friend" from offering herself to random people just to not see their neighbor's faces, but I also made Tania think twice about harming herself because that pain I inflicted to her would definitely be memorable for quite a bit of time.

It's not like I didn't hear her pleas to just "give" her friend to her because she's gonna die anyway but I did it MY way, not hers.

To be fair with them, their life and way of living was completely different from mine where I needed to put on my big boy pants at a much earlier age—and furthermore, we didn't have hectares of land and servants to order around, so my take on their situation would be contradictory to what they thought they deserve should have or allowed to possess.

But in the grand scheme of things, especially now, they needed to adapt to the situation as fast as they could and take advantage of their current starting point, or else what I told Tania to scare her off switching jobs would actually be her reality.

What I was doing right now was to give them a little~ bit more of a fighting chance but I then turned to the four as Tania continued to sob while clutching her stomach:

"We still have time to talk until Rosie comes back with our flower arrangements. After that, we'll go back and probably see you guys never so talk while we still have the time."

Shirley immediately walked forward, "S-Sir… I don't know how to say this but I'd like to… T-Thank you for your decision to let Tania stay with us. Words aren't enough to—"

I cut her off, "Enough with the flowery bullshit. How else can I be of service? Time's ticking, alright?"

"Ah— Y-Yes sir… But this… This is gonna sound—"

"Again, enough of the flowery bullshit. I did say you all could speak freely, right?"

She took a deep breath before saying out loud, "I-I'd l-like to request a p-proper burial for my parents, sir!"

I was a little taken aback, "A burial, huh?"

"Y-Yes, sir…"

"You do know that an actual 'burial' is phased out and a cremation is the norm nowadays?"

"W-What?"

Hearing that, I couldn't believe the current knowledge they had about the undead, and I just had to give them a quick refresher course because these people seemed to have never gone out even once—and probably never taken down a single deadhead—wanted their "rights" given back to them. They'll die on the first week—no, on the first day out in the wild and they could only blame themselves for their ignorance.

But yeah, in regards to Shirley's request, there was only one way to make that possible though I had a few questions first:

"Do you have any idea where their 'bodies' are?"

As I asked that question, I made sure to watch out for the changes in their expression—abrupt or subtle—because I knew that there were sacks of heads delivered to Sal that fateful day but I wasn't sure if they knew what I knew. I'm not even sure who among them were the actual children of the Roxas Family because all Terry told me that they came from that joint but I'll know soon enough given the situation.

Shirley shook her head after a deep breath, "From what you said earlier, sir… That could only mean that my… t-they were c-cremated somewhere else—"

"I'm gonna be honest with you and say that they were probably burned on top of one another…"

"..."

'They didn't know, huh? Makes it a little easier…'

I sighed as I waved her over, "But I'm gonna be a little more honest with you again. If you weren't aware, certain… 'trophies' were delivered on the same night they died and I'm not sure how you honor your dead but if you want to make it as 'proper' as possible, you'll need to have those trophies turned to ashes too. That means… with your current predicament, the only way to achieve that is not to only get in Sal's good graces, but also to prove your worth in a way that she'll grant you a favor such as that. You understand where I'm getting at?"

"Y-Yes, sir…"

"That means doing nothing close to what you did earlier because let's be honest here again, Sal or any of the other family heads beside me would've done way~ worse than what I did to you guys and they wouldn't even hear you out like what we're doing right now."

"W-We understand, sir…"

Then I looked at the three who looked a tad uncomfortable for standing that long:

"Dumb, Dum-Dum, and Dumber— no, Jay, Richmond, and Mark, anything else to say?"

They looked at each other first before the one I stared down earlier, Dum-Dum, a.k.a. Richmond took a step forward:

"We… W-We umm… We'd like to see if we could be employed as— no, trained as soldiers—"

I wasn't able to hold in a chuckle, "Pff… After all that talk, you three still haven't understood a single thing?"

"W-We were just— It's… I know it's presumptuous but I, for one, think that I-I'm better suited for w-work outside… A-And seeing you in action, s-sir… Learning from you is—"

"I'm gonna stop you right there."

"O-Okay, sir…"

"Haa~ Answer these series of questions honestly before I even think of taking you in as a gopher. Jay and Mark, why don't you answer too? First, how many deadheads have you killed?"

"Dead— Ah, thirt— no, a t-total of three, sir—"

"F-Five…"

"One…"

I almost rolled my eyes, "Seriously? Alright… How many people have you killed? Be honest, alright?"

"Zero…"

"N-None…"

"T-Two, sir…"

"Oh? You're a little serial killer in the making, aren't ya? This following question is only for you, Mark: Why did you kill them?"

"T-They tried to k-kill me, sir… I-I had no choice on the matter…"

I nodded 'approvingly' at Mark, "Ah~ Self-defense, is it? I get it, I get it," then I looked at the three once again while shaking my head, "This is really~ awkward, ain't it?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Any disciplines or martial arts you used to study under before?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Any of you know how to use guns?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Fuck~ What were your jobs before the world ended?"

"I t-traded stocks…"

"S-Still a college student s-studying business administration…"

"I-I'm a student too but I have a scholarship for playing basketball…"

I nodded at Mark once again, "Oh? That's promising, at least. A varsity player, eh?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

I sighed heavily while looking at the three, "Alright, this is how it's gonna go. It's pretty obvious that only Mark there has a slight chance of keeping himself alive out there because of cardio from playing basketball but I wanna be a little fair here. If any of you are still standing after three minutes with my actual student over there, Seb, I'll ask Sal to give you a change of careers and if you actually win against him, I'll poach you on the spot."

The three didn't know how to react to that statement but Seb instantly got up and asked to talk to me to the side:

"Y-You…"

"Hmm? What's wrong?"

"Fighting those three—"

"You don't think that you're gonna lose, are ya?"

"No—"

"So, what's the problem?"

"I… I don't know how to properly hold back…"

"For real?"

"Y-Yes, sir…"

Hearing Seb say that, I've never been more excited to see him in action because, from the time I was his instructor, I've only beaten him senselessly and trained him to the point of vomiting without actually making them spar with each other. Sure, they probably did in their own time but our nice little gazebo had now become the octagon for Seb and the three stooges to show what they were made of, and I didn't even care when one of Rosie's maidservants told us that the flower arrangements were done.

Funnily enough, the three decided to decide who would go first via rock-papers-scissors and their little BSBA was up.

Jay had never looked so nervous as Seb was sizing him up but once I gave them the signal, Seb's whole demeanor just changed as he lunged at his opponent. He was postured very low from the start which I assumed he'd aim for a takedown but the moment his opponent swung a hail mary to stop him in his tracks, Seb had already stopped an inch short from the arc Jay's fist would travel, and it was already over right then and there when Seb took him down and mounted him for a pounding.