Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!



With the little bit of time left for us, I helped abduct Megan and threw her to the ladies' fitting room—which for some reason, I was barred from entering, but since the clothes that I was supposed to wear were already prepared upstairs, I just put them on after fixing myself a little bit.

Luckily enough, it wasn't one of those clothes a certain Witcher needed to wear in one of those earlier quests but I did feel like I was about to attend a fancy ball or gala with the fancy-ass clothes I'm wearing.

'Even these white gloves cover my tattoo… Will I get to throw them at someone and start something? Heh…'

In any case, all hell just broke loose when I met up with the guys who looked so fucking uncomfortable—except for JP and Jesus, of course—and to be frickin' honest, they looked like they were made for this shit, and I don't fucking know where Jesus pulled out that fancy-ass cane he was carrying around.

Isaac nudged me while trying to scratch this certain part in his neck, "Dude! How're you pullin' this off?! I'm itchy as heck! And shouldn't we be carrying rapiers or something? I'm practically naked without my gear."

I chuckled as I leaned close, "I have four knives and two concealed guns on me… Shh…"

"Wha— A-Alright, bro… Dibs on one of those if shit goes down…"

"Sure…"

Then I suddenly felt two huge hands placed over my shoulders then a deep hoarse voice followed:

"We meet again! Fancy meetin' ya here, fuckface!" Mauro exclaimed as he let out a smile baring all of his teeth.

I gave him a strong handshake as I turned around, "What's up, Mauro? Marriage looks good on ya…"

"Heh. Thanks!"

"I heard you've been fuckin' ever since you came here—"

"HAH! I JUST FUCKING KNEW YOU'D SAY THAT! But yeah, don't tell anybody else but I've been trying to keep up with my wife! She looks pretty normal but she can— Whew~ I've never seen a chick ride so hard and long and keep up with my schlong—"

"That's what our 9-incher does for us—"

Sebastian suddenly cut in from behind, "Excuse me, gentlemen… But I do hope we choose our words wisely when the ladies arrive—"

Mauro rolled his eyes as he cut him off, "Piss off, man. Haven't you heard Sal talk?! She's worse than all of us combined! So cut it off, will you?!"

I waved them off as I nudged Sebastian playfully, "Sorry, man… We do talk like Irishmen sometimes but it's all love, alright? Don't worry, we usually stop when we're eating so~"

Sebastian forced out another smile before he excused himself, "Very well~ I'll leave you all to it, the ladies will come a little later…"

In any case, I began to introduce Mauro to those who don't know him but I made sure to rub in his face that I beat him along with Mr. Alvarez, and I'm 100% sure a brawl would've occurred if Ongkiko was present but it's funny enough to see Mauro hold it in while crushing several furniture into powder or bending nearby metals like they're fucking playdoh.

Mauro found Kuzma already partaking in alcohol but wasn't saying anything, "Who's that?"

"The one who traded the Humvee for Dave's ride—"

"He's the guy?! Hah! Yo, Kuzma! C'mere for a sec!"

"Huh?" Kuzma just realized we were talking about him.

"We got more alcohol over here! Talk to us for a bit—"

"I don't understand—"

"Oh, look! Vodka—"

"Now, I understand! What's up, Komrads?!"

"THERE WE FUCKIN' GO!"

At this point, only us guys were present with some of the maids and other butlers handing out drinks and appetizers, but our attention was put somewhere else when the music changed and the girls walked in with all the shit and kaboodle.

"Holy shit—"

"Should've worn tighter underwear—"

"Is that Alexa?! She looks way~ different!"

"You guys blind?! Tatiana's smoking— No offense, bro— I don't mean anything by that, just stating the facts… But Quinn too— How do they fucking stay there?!"

"HOLY FUCK, THAT'S KALEY?! WHAT—"

"HAHAHAHA!!! Why do both Meg and Megan look so uncomfortable?!"

In any case, this dinner was supposed to have a certain theme but Tatiana and Quinn's dresses threw it out the window. Both of them were wearing risque strapless dresses that accentuated their assets and their tattoos while everyone else was wearing something appropriate for the occasion.

However, it was pretty obvious that I was like a statue—not because I was hard, wait— no, I am, partially— but what I meant to say was I was totally starstruck seeing Kaley in a beautiful black dress that complimented the clothes I was wearing.

Kaley's dress was a long gown that had a high slit up to her left thigh but the upper portion was like a sleeveless turtleneck of sorts where it completely hides her deep cleavage but reveals everything from her shoulder, her sideboobs, up to her waist.

She was even wearing complimentary jewelry and makeup, of course—as everyone else did—and she started smiling brightly when she saw me like a fat fuck just served the juiciest of steaks.

But yeah, the last people who came in were Sal, Elsa, and Edith, and the dresses they were wearing could make anybody feel all sorts of ways though one of them was already way~ past my preferred age range and one was fucking off-limits because she was recently married.

At this point, Edith quickly made her way towards me before she giggled and spun around for me to see her in this beautiful attire.

"W-What do you think?!"

"You look amazing, Edith!"

"R-Really?! Aww—"

"Definitely much better than that Bee Suit—"

"Pfft! Hah! You're so funny! A-Anyway, did Nancy take care of you?"

"Hmm?"

"She looked pretty exhausted when you guys threw Megan over to us— Do you know we were having a hard time finding Megan earlier, good thing you found her!"

"Ah— I just got lucky—"

Before we could continue our conversation, Kaley, Tatiana, and Quinn joined in with drinks in their hands though Tatiana and Quinn's drink was a fucking bottle, and they seemed to be fishing compliments from yours truly. I obviously went above and beyond for my darling wife but the other two needed a different kind of compliment.

Let's just say they needed to get close and grab me by my crotch to see if they prompted the right reaction—and once they found what they were looking for, they just let out a smile before continuing where we left off. But yeah, these four beautiful ladies were chatting with me before Megan came in and nudged my sides with her elbow.

"You… You'll get it later—"

I chuckled as I pinched her cheek, "What? You look great, you should be thanking me—"

"Stop—"

Kaley and Edith added, "You do look great, Megan!/Right! You look really pretty!"

There was a visible blush on Megan's cheek, "I-I'll let it slide— W-Well, t-thanks… Y-You guys l-look pretty too…"

I never felt so betrayed, "Hey! What about me?!"

"I said you're ALL pretty! Just accept the compliment—"

Quinn cackled as she cut her off, "He probably wants to hear you say that he makes you wet."

Tatiana nodded as she chuckled, "That sounds about right. That's more of an actual compliment for me too!"

"R-Really?"

Megan was about to be dragged by these two's weird but brutally honest antics but I found this Steinway piano sitting by itself—and before anyone else asked, I couldn't read music but I could definitely watch other people do their thing, but it seemed like I garnered a small crowd asking me to play a little something because they assumed I could play just because I was standing in front of it.

But yeah, I was just about to decline when Edith excitedly sat me down before sitting right next to me, giving me more reason to just go with and somehow wing it for her sake.

She nudged me while playing a few keys, "So… What do you wanna play?"

I immediately confessed, "I actually don't know how to play—"

But she got the wrong impression, "Oh, you! Stop fibbing! I just know you do by looking at you! C'mon, anything else comes to mind?"

'Then fuck it, it is…'

I pulled out my phone and showed her a video from Sheet Music Boss, "Can we play this?"

"..."

"Edith—"

"D-Do we even have enough hands for this?! Are you crazy?!"

"A little, yes. But we crash and burn together, wanna give it a go?"

Edith was staring at me for a moment—trying to figure out whether I was serious—but she eventually relented as she tried to give it a few practice runs. And with how complicated this piece was, it obviously needed a minimum of three people but we decided to go along with it with passion and guts.

In any case, everyone else seemed to be waiting for us to actually play for real but as I said earlier, the goal wasn't to play well but to just have fun with it so the two of us downed a glass of wine before cracking our knuckled and letting out a silent but long exhale.

With the way everyone else was looking at us, they looked like they were expecting something from Bach or Mozart but the piece Edith and I will be playing was something these fucking normies haven't heard before.

I turned to everyone for a moment, "Everyone, this is Rush E."