Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!



Our four-vehicle convoy had now become a five-vehicle one but we had an agreement with Jesus' group that the Tacoma should be driving at the back for everyone's safety. At that moment, I remembered a huge recall of Tacomas having issues but almost all of them arose from high-mileage ones.

'But yeah… the total's more than the average for mid-sized trucks… But it's still fairly new though…'

I began having second thoughts about the vehicle we repossessed but I made up my mind about trading it in for something better or of equal value later.

With that said, aside from picking off stray deadheads we'd encounter, the road we were traversing was relatively safe until we reached towns that had survivors that weren't affiliated with the De Leon Family.

However, Jesus pretty much knew these people because they were all around the area—visiting them much more compared to their relatives even before the world ended—and he knew what to do on their "tollgates".

And after passing through most of them without issue, we came across a small town that had a small group of survivors we could easily take down with our numbers if they tried something funny. But since we were literally letting Jesus take the wheel, we found out that—like in the real world—we'd have more use for people if we let them live as long as we knew what they needed.

I know that it's the apocalypse and all but I was inclined with Jesus' methods.

Jesus jauntily stepped out of his station wagon and greeted the "guards" who were basically holding a checkpoint with mid weapons, "Hello~ Is Mr. Cruz here? We've brought some things you might like or need so we'd like to sweeten the pot if you'd let us have 'safer' passage, if you know what I mean?"

'Safer?'

The short and stout guy wiped his face shakily before replying, "H-He's here but what are you trading? Y-You got some 'spice' in there?"

Jesus shook his head, "Not today, sorry. The stock's a little… tight. But yeah, we have that Tacoma at the back up for grabs plus some random shit we managed to liberate from this rest stop you told us about before… Is Mr. Cruz sleeping or do we need to—"

"I can call him later but the toll will be double if you don't have anything to—"

Jesus cut him off, "Fine. I'll check my stash again but I'm telling you to stop taking, it's bad for your—"

"D-Don't tell me what I should and s-shouldn't take! I-I-I can take it alright?!"

"Easy, easy~ I just might have the right one for ya… Calm down, okay?"

At that moment, Jesus turned around with a bitter expression but instead of checking his 'stash' like he told the guy he was speaking to, he made his way to me.

"Hey man. I hate to ask you but do you have something that you know… can make it easier for a bit then make it fucking shitty the moment it fades?"

I replied, "Drugs?"

"They call it 'spice' over here. It could be anything, really."

"I thought you have a stash of some sort? Why are you asking me? D'you think I have drugs on me?"

Jesus was a little taken aback, "N-No man, I was just— I'm saving my last batch of weed and it's a little… you know? I know a place where I could get some but I dunno when I'm gonna need it so I'm looking for more options. Can you help a brother out?"

I shook my head as I looked back at Jesus, "I have a small bottle of Morphine and a tincture's worth of Mad Honey."

"Morphine? You still have those?! Wait, what's Mad Honey?"

"I only have a bottle of Morphine and we need it for emergencies so I'm leaning on giving you the Mad Honey. And yeah, Mad Honey is… honey that could make you numb and hallucinate if you take more than a tablespoon—"

"We'll take the honey! They probably don't know what the fuck it was so they'll be fucking curious! And you're right, we'll need the morphine for medical emergencies… We can't just find them lying around anywhere… Don't worry, I'll pay it back with whatever you'd want for the Woody's blueprint! I give you my word!"

With that said, I handed over the small bottle of Mad Honey Sal gave to while Jesus exchanged it with an IOU, but once he presented the 'spice' to the troll guarding the passage, he was sent away to offer more. I thought for sure that junkies would do anything for something unknown but the guy wanted a dash more of whipped cream on his supposed dessert.

I was about ready to give a handful of painkillers—or the bottle of Morphine—just to get it over with but Jesus didn't come back to me and just took out his last batch of Marijuana, and handed it over to the guard.

The guy was failing at hiding this smirk on his face as he took the offerings, but the moment Jesus and his crew were let in, the same fucking guy stood in front of my Raptor while wearing a nasty look on his face.

"Who the fuck are ya guys? I know Jesus over there but you're definitely new. If you don't know—"

Jesus quickly stepped out of his station wagon, "Hey! They're with us! The fuck are you doing that for—"

"SHUT UP! MOVE ALONG OR WE'LL WASTE YA! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M— GCKH! WHAT THE— ARGCHK! ACK! FAK! GRCK!"

"WASTE WHO, SHORT BITCH?!" Quinn shouted at the top of her lungs as she was already beating the guy senselessly.

To be honest, I would've done the same thing for the blatant audacity of that bitch, but Quinn was just a fraction of a second faster than me. I know that this place was their territory and all but I wouldn't accept getting bled dry by a 4'9'' midget that wasn't even this place's head honcho.

And yeah, I waited a good 20 seconds before breaking up the fight—or should I say the one-sided beatdown, and we were granted safe passage plus the items he took from us. It was because the guy's partner had to call it in and summon their leader of sorts that definitely looked so fed up with the hobbit's antics.

Jesus still tried to apologize in Quinn's stead, "Hey, sorry about that. We didn't know that he was just playing and—"

The 'Cruz' guy waved him off, "No, no. It's all good. It's his own damn fault for that beating, he'll be back to shoveling horse shit after that. Anyway, we can offer you guys free lodging or something if you ever drop by again but I'm sorry, we're not taking the Tacoma."

"Huh? Why? It's pretty much brand-new. You guys could use another vehicle, right?"

"No, we're good. Thanks anyway. Don't you guys have somewhere to go?"

"Kicking us out so soon? How's Diane and the kids?"

The Cruz guy shook his head, "Same as the last time you asked."

"Ah…"

"Jesus, I know you mean well and I appreciate it but I'm tired and still have so much to do. We'll catch up properly next time, alright? Don't worry about Jim, it's his own fault for pissing off Quinn. He's just too fucking dumb to realize who he was talking to."

"Alright, man. Keep safe, and I promise I'll bring some beer next time we stay for the night!"

"Yeah, yeah…"

After a few minutes, we were back on the road after leaving that small town but Jesus quickly spoke on the radio after we were a fair distance away.

-

*bzzt*

[We're so fucking lucky Cruz is in a good mood.]

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

"He's in a good mood?"

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

[Yep. That guy's a psycho when he gets a good night's sleep. He would've hacked Jim to death if he wasn't tired.]

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

"Huh."

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

[Anyway~ Just don't actually take his offer of staying the night. I'm just being courteous but the guy's fucking scary. I don't mess with scary unless I have to.]

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

"Noted."

*bzzt*

-

With that said, we continued the drive with the wonderful view despite the rotting corpses laying by the side of the road or totaled wrecks that had bodies that shouldn't be moving or parts that should be attached somewhere. We still drove into towns that were either empty or had people that wanted to do nothing with us, but as we continued on, the area was getting more and more familiar.

The road in these parts was starting to get narrow and narrow but it didn't take long before we started to ascent a steep road that was ten times more dangerous. The number of wrecked cars and flattened corpses at the bottom were already a red flag but Jesus and his crew just strolled in like it was a normal Tuesday.