Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Kaley and I just stayed in bed for a few minutes to fool around before we took a shower, got dressed, and went down. However, we only came with our blades and our sidearms since our vehicles would be undergoing some inspection and maintenance.

They didn't have any problems when we drove back but it was best to be thorough.

With that said, my main team was free to do anything they wanted this day and some of them came with Artem's team with a different vehicle. Aside from us two, only Tatiana and Jared stayed behind but we'll be doing something a little different and kinda… invasive.

This thing we were facing has been ongoing for a few months already and we'd need people to not be complacent even with the safety provided by our walls.

To be completely fair with everybody, I started being transparent and close, and what better place to start than my house. Oscar, Johnny, Matthew, and Marisha were with us and I opened up my house for them to inspect.

Oscar was slightly chuckling, "Kid. You don't have to do this, right? You're the freaking boss of this place! You should be following the rules you placed on everybody."

Johnny added, "I agree."

Marisha interjected, "It's only to be fair with everyone. We're gonna be inspecting everyone's houses for the whole day, we should start with who's running the whole operation to keep everyone happy."

Matthew scratched his head, "I'm sure some people wouldn't want their privacy put out in the open like this. If this was back then, I wouldn't agree unless I allegedly committed a crime and had a warrant."

Oscar nodded, "I agree with you, but we just need to be thorough at times like this. We could have psychos under our radar building a cult or a little fucking kid dissecting rats for whatever fucked up reason."

"Still..."

"C'mon gentlemen, we already talked about this yesterday and our votes suggested we do this. Not only we could have peace of mind to whoever we're letting in, it also… in someway… builds trust."

"Trust? For checking their rooms?"

"I know it sounds weird but them letting us check their rooms willingly and letting everything for us to see what they may or may not be hiding is also a form of it. Unless they're hiding something sinister, we'll keep to ourselves whatever we saw and not talk about it to anyone. Honestly, I wanted a smaller group for this but ultimately, they trust you guys the same as me. They know we'd never blab about anything and if we did, they'll lose that trust they put in us. If they have nothing to hide, what's the problem?"

"I guess I could see it but I still have my reservations. You know, some of them might start cleaning up or change the location of their stash if they know we're gonna do these inspections."

"So, you want a surprise inspection?"

"Yeah."

"The time it takes to get to each house would take too long and the ones that are-"

I waved them all off, "Guys, we're already here. We have a lot of houses to go so let's hurry up."

The old-timers eventually started to inspect my room though Marisha was the only one allowed inside the two other rooms aside from mine for common decency. In doing so, I was stuck with the old dudes carrying magnifying glasses and wearing a sleuth costume.

I was already facepalming as I joked, "Be careful with those or you'll burn my rug if the sun hits them."

Oscar interjected after a light chuckle, "Where are your BOBs? I know you're against them but we'll never know."

"I'm not against them but they're under our bed. There's one for me, one for Kaley, and one for Zeus. It's different from the bags we'd always carry but their contents are almost the same."

Johnny pulled out one and shone a flashlight underneath, "Geez, why's your bed bolted on the floor?"

I almost snorted, "I better not answer that question."

Matthew instantly turned in my direction, "And why is that?!"

Oscar started chortling, "Matt, trust him. He better not answer that question. If you want clues, I think putting a pillow on the headboard isn't enough. Am I right, kid?"

Johnny started losing it, "Hah! Happy wife happy life, I guess!"

Matthew just gave me the most intense gangster stare he could give, "You better wed my daughter or I'll break your windpipe. Got it?! The fuck are ya waiting for?! You already got the diamond, right?!"

I shook my head amusingly, "I told you, we're already husband and wife whether we had the ceremony, gave each other our rings, or not. It'll come soon enough and trust me, you'll bawl your eyes out once it happens. It'll take some time since I just wanna do things right."

"Cheh. I'll be the judge of that! Let's see this armory of yours!"

"Fine then. Feast your eyes!"

Once I opened the door for them, they looked like a kid that just visited an amusement park for the first time. They were stunned by a straight five minutes and they didn't even walk a single step inside, fearing they might defile the sanctity of my armory. With that said. everything just went smoothly and we went ahead to visit the other houses inside my compound and everyone inside our main gates.

It got weird a few times and I'll omit their names for obvious reasons.

"Umm… What is this?"

"A chicken?"

"..."

"Problem?"

"In your room..."

"Yes?"

"Why?"

"It just went in..."

"You didn't bother letting it out?"

"It looks comfortable in here… should I?"

"Do you want to move in the coop?"

"Ah… I'll move Gregory then..."

"Gregory? You named that- nevermind… get it out of here..."

And weirder.

"Umm… what is this?"

"A… A vegetable?"

"I know… A cucumber..."

"Great!"

"But why is it under your pillow?"

"Midnight snack?"

"Uh-huh..."

"Problem?"

"Let me rephrase… what the fuck is it doing here? We have you know… rubber and silicone counterparts of them, right? You just need to put in a request with Rin. She'll definitely understand and she'll hand it to you discreetly… and she'll even throw in some lube..."

"Ah… right… right… can I still keep it? I grew it myself so- do you want me to place it back then?"

"JUST DON'T PLACE IT BACK IN OUR COMMUNITY PANTRY!"

"Right! Right! Ehehe..."

And even weirder…

"Umm..."

"Ah- I can explain."

"You could? You sure about that?"

"Y-Yeah! I was running-"

"In a bikini?"

"Y-Yes! It's t-training! A-And I just went over my speed limi-"

"In your bathroom?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Did you just ask a question?"

"N-No! I-I… I slipped..."

"Penis first?"

"Yes… it was an accident..."

"Uh-huh… did you slip in some lube as well?"

"JUST HELP ME GET OUT OF HERE!"

"THEN WHO TOLD YOU TO FUCK THAT- Nevermind… You know we already have services for these kinds of needs, right?"

"C'mon, man! I get nervous when I talk to them! It's not like I haven't been jacking off to them when they're still on TV-"

"Okay. Too much info. Can't you just back it up a few bits so-"

"I SAID I'M STUCK! HELP ME! JUST GRAB MY- HELP ME!"

"FUCK, NO! WON'T IT JUST GET SOFT OVERTIME?!"

"IT ALREADY IS! DO YOU THINK I'LL REMAIN HARD WHILE YOU'RE HERE AND THE OLD-TIMERS ARE CACKLING THEIR ASSES OFF IN THE OTHER ROOM?!"

"Then that leaves me no choice… I'm sorry… we'll have to cut it off..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! NOT JUNIOR~!!! GET THAT AWAY! GET THAT AWAY!"

Our inspections got a little too chaotic at times but most of them were pretty normal and easily fixable. There were a few issues like BOBs being placed too difficult to get to, wirings being left tangled and exposed, rooms being too fucking dirty, backup food being used as snacks, garbage stewing for a few days more than necessary, and so much more.

Easy fixes and reprimands were given to such people but one particular house had one of its residents give us trouble. Or rather, was just about to cause some trouble specifically to one other person close to us.

I called out, "Bring him here. Now."

"W-What are you doing?!"

"Ma'am, please calm down. We just found something sensitive and we need to discuss the matter with your son privately. It'd be best to cooperate to make things run smoothly."

"W-What did he do?! What d-did you do?! Answer me!"

"N-N-Nothing, mom! I did-"

"Then come inside to answer a few questions."

"S-Sure..."

"Hurry up! Stop stalling!"

"Alright! Alright! I'm just..."

After a few moments, a guy only a few years younger than me was dragged inside.

His eyes were erratically darting around the pieces of trash I uncovered and beads of sweat were forming on his forehead. Kaley was trying her best to keep her emotions in check while I was staring dead into the kid's face. And if Matthew ever saw it, he would've put a bullet in his head even if his mother was watching.

"You're Ezekiel, right? Your mom and you came here a couple of months ago."

"..."

"If you don't answer me, I'll move your place of resi-"

"T-THOSE AREN'T MINE! THEY'RE P-PHILIP'S STASH! I-"

"Am I fucking yelling at you?"

"I-"

Ezekiel was already giving us the signals of him trying to cover up the truth and the only person keeping him alive right now was Marisha. I was fucking ready to let him take a swing at me before I break his fucking neck for fucking cutting up and pasting Olivia's face into a naked woman's body on a magazine. It could be some sort of sick prank to play on people but doing this kind of shit on a minor would land him more than just jail time, especially at our times. Furthermore, there was only one other reason he would resort to such things and it was more than fucking sick.

I couldn't even fathom how he got to this stage and I'm sure his percentage of living was less than fucking zero.

I tilted my head and leaned over to look him dead in the eyes before saying, "Talk."