Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

I was stunned in place for a few seconds and I was brought to my senses when Kaley exclaimed.

"ILANA?! WH-WHAT ARE YOU- What are you doing here?!"

Ilana just let out a faint smile, "Business, mostly. Hey, could you please close the door? It's gonna be awkward when Mylene walks in on us and you're swinging that huge thing around."

'Is she even the same person? Is Mylene on the first floor? Or did they came from the roof? But- this is just too weird. Wait, is she? No… Kaley and Marisha would've found out… Unless...'

A lot of things suddenly flooded my head but I closed the door and locked it while keeping Ilana in my sights. However, she just looked at me with the same expression before removing everything on her and just leaving her white shirt and stretchy jeans. After that, she turned around and raised her hands, only turning her head to look at me.

I looked at her suspiciously, "What are you-"

Ilana responded, "I have concealed weapons in them. You could search them and me as well just to remove that look off your face. If I would try and kill you, I would do it from afar, when you're asleep, or in between your orgasms. However, that would be a waste since… you know, like I said… I came here for business, mostly."

"Now you just made me more suspicious. Don't move a single step or I'll make you experience something else."

Ilana chuckled, "Now you just made me more curious. You see-"

"Don't talk as well. I only need a few seconds to break your neck."

"..."

'Is she really? But how? I thought...'

Ilana turned silent as she stayed in the same position while Kaley and I got dressed. Kaley was still confused as she was looking at Ilana's back but I discovered that she already had her pistol in her hands. However, I just waved her down before taking a look at Ilana's gear.

I found an S&W M&P Shield and a Springfield Armory Hellcat tucked in her vest and in one of her boots while I found several knives almost hidden in plain sight. There were a couple in her boots, another couple in her gloves, one was actually the other end of her belt buckle, another in her vest, and one more inside her flashlight.

"Cool knives. Custom?"

"..."

I shook my head, "You can talk now."

Ilana faintly smiled, "Some of them could be bought at the right places but to answer your question, yes. They had to fit me or else it would look too bulky."

"Tell me, no one has patted you down yet? I find it impossible that no one has searched you and found them. I could understand the knives staying hidden but those two guns should've been easily found. Are they all on your side? Or just Mylene and Harold?"

"I'm just good at putting up a good front. They see someone in full body armor that's too demure with a bodyguard that's armed to the teeth and a loud officer that's too stubborn to give a proper answer, they wouldn't bother as much. Tell me, did you figure me out yet?"

"Kinda."

"You sure? Something tells me you're still 50-50 on that."

I chuckled before I turned her around, "You're Ana71. A simple arrangement of letters would turn Ilana to Ana71. You see, if we take the first two letters of your name and flip it after capitalization, it would turn IL to 71. Add the remaining letters in the front and we'll get Ana71 from your name. Lemme tell you, you fooled Kaley and Marisha. That's rare."

Kaley exclaimed, "What?! You-"

Ilana cut her off as she chuckled, "Good job, genius. However, I never fooled them. I'm really demure when it comes to crowds. I'm just more confident in this type of setting. Can we talk business now or you'll finish searching me?"

I looked at her in the eye, "Just a sec. I'm calling for backup. I'm not quite done with you yet."

Ilana frowned, "I'd suggest against that."

I chuckled, "You have no power here. Besides, it's just my own bodyguard in the next room. Where's yours?"

Ilana shook her head, "That's fine if it's her. Mylene is downstairs playing with Zeus..."

'Foiled by my own dog... I guess Zeus never sniffed any ill intention or he would've bitten a chunk off of them from the beginning...'

I made Kaley knock on the next door to wake up Tatiana and it was another set of trouble when the two met face-to-face. We weren't even able to introduce them properly when Tatiana saw her with both her hands raised. She pushed Ilana's face onto the table and started searching her roughly. It was the first time Ilana's face got a tinge of red because the search Tatiana did was worse than a TSA agent at an airport.

It got to places where some gloves and some lubricant were needed but Tatiana just freehanded it and just used some spit. I would've made Kaley search Ilana if I could turn back time but I would've needed some Sands of Time, the time stone, or a Delorian with a flux capacitor. Everything just happened so fast and Ilana wasn't able to defend herself. It got really weird for the next few minutes and Tatiana was fucking thorough.

Tatiana turned to me, "She's clean, even down there. Everything she's hiding is already on the table."

Ilana was glaring at Tatiana, "Do you need to be that rough?"

Tatiana scoffed, "You moaned. You should've come earlier when we're not as tired."

Ilana got even redder, "I didn't! You shoved your fingers in my ass and made them watch! Do you want me to laugh instead?!"

'What is happening...'

Tatiana started walking outside, "Blah, blah, blah~ I'll come back after I wash my hands."

Ilana got fucking pissed but what she blurted out next made Tatiana stop in her tracks.

"Katarina Morozova Solovyova."

Tatiana turned around to look at Ilana but I already predicted what would happen next. I managed to get in the middle of them when Tatiana lunged for Ilana but all I saw was Tatiana's look of confusion. Her eyes were red while her eyebrows were furrowed, and she was stronger than ever. Her reaction caught everyone off-guard while she kept trying to break free from my grasp.

I tried to look at her in the eye, "Calm down. She's here to talk."

Tatiana exploded as she kept glaring at Ilana, "Who the fuck are you?! And why do you know her name?! I-I-I… are spying on me?! W-Wha… IS SHE STILL ALIVE?! FUCKING TELL ME THAT AT LEAST!"

Ilana took a couple of steps back before answering, "I'm sorry… I'm not really-"

"LOZH'! BULLSHIT! FUCKING LET GO OF ME! ARE YOU ON HER SIDE?! DID YOU TELL HER TO SPY ON ME?!" Tatiana was glaring at me as well.

Kaley was looking at me as well and she wasn't saying a word.

I sighed heavily before I forced Tatiana down, "Will you listen to me first? I'll let go of you if you calm down. No, I'll let go of you if you promise that you'll only hit me. Is that a deal? Once we're over that, I'll tell you everything I know and she'll explain herself too. After that, I'll let you decide on what to do after hearing everything."

Tatiana was glaring at me before she answered, "Fine!"

As soon as I let go of Tatiana, she balled her fist and delivered a punch across my face before sending a knee right in my abdomen. I grunted as I endured the first two hits and when I thought she would deliver another punch, she stopped herself and tried to calm herself down. She was still breathing heavily as she stared right at me but her gaze slowly turned to Ilana. Her fist was slowly balling up again and Ilana took a few steps back.

I waved her off, "We made a deal, right? You'll learn nothing if you beat her up. It'll feel good but a cooperating hostage is better than a hostage that was made to cooperate."

Tatiana huffed before pulling a chair and placing it backward. She was looking at the two of us before sitting on it, "Talk."

I turned to Ilana first, "This is your fucking fault, alright? You didn't have to but you did."

Ilana muttered, "I… I d-didn't know, alright?!"

Tatiana exclaimed, "Stop stalling! Tell me fucking everything! Where's Katarina!"

I just sighed heavily once more, "Tatiana. I'm sorry but when I received news that you would be sent to us, I thought you were a spy."

Tatiana was frowning before she said, "Understandable. I thought you're an edgy character from all of the animations Cynthia made Rin and I watch. I thought Rin was a nerd but Cynthia is… you know what I mean."

"Sure..."

"So?"

"Hmm?"

"So, where's the rest of your explanation?!"

"Huh?"

"Are you fucking with me right now?!"

"No. I'm serious."

"Then continue!"

"Oh. That's it. I really thought you were a spy."

"Fucking elaborate! You always do that, correct?! Start from the top!"

"Sure… umm… I was tapping my phone and eyeing every person that walked by. I was checking each one, careful not to miss my friend that I was waiting for. I was in an airport- Ow! Kaley?!"

Kaley bonked me and she was fuming, "Not that start! Be fucking serious!"

I rubbed my head before continuing, "Sheesh, be more specific at least… Fine… Just a few days after this shit started, I received a call from the president. Long story short, he told me that you would be sent here to be my bodyguard of sorts. Being a guy that's too paranoid for his own good, I thought you had the chance of being a spy."

Tatiana was shaking her head, "Go on..."

"But, I know that if you had ill intentions... you wouldn't come for a nobody and just go straight for the president. I still have my reservations at first but when I was contacted by this two-faced Hackerwoman, I just had to make sure. To be fair, I did it with everybody because I needed more filters aside from local records and an interview with Marisha."

Tatiana started scratching her head, "Ill intentions? Really? What if my purpose was to just collect information and send it back, huh? Did you even think of that? Spies don't just assassinate, correct?"

I chuckled, "It could also mean that you could get more information if you're closer, cOrRect? Besides, you already told me you and your team always send relevant information back as everyone does. I don't fucking care who solves this first, I only care about solving this thing as fast as possible. Wait, did you just admit being a spy?"

Tatiana started to furiously scratch her head, "I'M NOT A FUCKING SPY! DO YOU EVEN LISTEN TO ME?!"

I pouted, "That's what a spy would say… If you backstab us now, we wouldn't even see it coming… That's scummy, you know? *fake sniffs* You make us like you and you do that? *high-pitched* How could you?!"

Tatiana started to lose it, "You… I'M NOT A FUCKING SPY! AND YOU! WHAT'S YOUR EXPLANATION?!"

'This is gonna be a long~ night...'