Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

What happened that night defeated the time when the attendant from the pharmacy announced that I was gonna buy five boxes of condoms.

"KALEY!!! KALEYYY!!! KALEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~!!!"

"Ehehehe… You're gonna learn today~"

"NO!!! NOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!"

Seeing Kaley with a deranged look on her face as she was lubing up the Badonkadong 3000 sent shivers down my spine. A thin film of dangerous aura was forming around her body and the room's temperature was dropping by several degrees. It was close to a do-or-die moment and one wrong move would land me in a different kind of colonoscopy.

"K-K-KALEY!!! CALM D-DOWN!!! L-LET'S TALK ABOUT T-THIS, O-OKAY?!"

"Talk? Huuuuh~? I'm already set though? What would talking do? Tell me?"

"I-I-I'M J-J-JUST J-JOKING, O-OKAY?!"

"Sure~ I already put a lot of lube though… it would be a waste if we didn't use it, right?"

"N-NO! IT'S FINE! REALLY! Y-YOU'RE TIRED, R-RIGHT?! W-WE SHOULD S-SLEEP!"

Kaley towered over me with a menacing tone, "No. Go on all fours or lay down. Your pick."

"STOP STROKING IT!!! K-KALEY! I-I-I-I HAVE A S-SUGGESTION!!! PLEASE! L-LISTEN TO ME!!!"

"I'm just lathering it up. What's the pro- Hmm? Let's hear it then."

"Okay... H-Hear me out..."

I managed to talk her down and before I said anything, I pinned her down so I could safely remove and store the Badonkadong 3000 in a place where it would be safe. Surprisingly, she didn't put up much of a fight and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was spooning her the whole time I was brokering the deal of my life because my ass was in the line. My arms were in the perfect place because if things went south, I'd hinge my safety by knocking her out. In the end, Kaley grew more curious about a little something I brought up.

"Just tell me what this secret is! I can't wait that long! And why would you need my hair?!"

"Not all of it! Just a few clippings will do!"

"I think you're just stalling! I don't have the guarantee that what you have will-"

"I'm kinda stalling until your birthday but trust me, it will do something. If it doesn't, let's just say I'll let you have your way with me to do whatever you want. D-Do we have a deal?"

Kaley turned around laughing then she hugged and kissed me, "I'm really just messing with you, don't sweat it! W-Well… you really got me curious as to what it is! I just had no idea how far you would go just to avoid getting pegged! I really had you there for a second! You should've seen the look on your face!"

"Kaley! Y-You! Hngh… Can we stop talking about how things would 'go' far?"

"Hah! You might like it, you never know..."

"That's not a way to ease me into it!"

"You did it this time..."

"Huh?"

"You said 'ease you into it!', right?!"

"Pfft! DAMMIT KALEY!!!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!!! WHA- STOP TICKLING ME!!! I- HAHAHAHA!!! STOP!!!"

A bit of scruff on my chin was left attended for a short while but I used it to my advantage as I kissed her neck. At the same time, my hands ran through her body and she struggled to break free. After receiving a headbutt and an elbow, we eventually had some well-deserved rest with just us.

When morning came, I heard a familiar voice coming from the radio when Kaley and I were in the middle of changing our clothes.

-

*bzzt*

[We're here bro! Where's the fucking welcome mat?! HAHAHAHAHA!!!]

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

"You survived, eh? Heh, we'll come on down shortly."

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

[No 'Welcome Back!', eh? Oh, we've just passed through the gates at Woodlands. We'll be there in a few.]

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

"Oh, did uh… did they actually come?"

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

[Yeah, they came with us. Talk to you later, bro. Oh, ready 'that' for me, will you?]

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

"The what?"

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

[My SCAR, bro! You promised!]

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

"Yeah, yeah. Just pick it up later and I'll let you set it up."

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

[HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FUCK YEAH!!!]

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

"Just get here quick. It's awkward talking to you wearing nothing but a shirt."

*bzzt*

-

*bzzt*

[UGH!!! Spare me the details, bro! Sheesh!]

*bzzt*

-

It took us a while to get ready and Jared started yapping on the radio incessantly. I had to turn it off so we could have a bit of peace and quiet but it didn't take long before we went down with everyone. Tatiana, Vera, and Marina greeted Artem and the rest of their team while Natasha was looking at Marina suspiciously. It was because Mikhail, Petrov, and Stefan came from the opposite direction while Marina came down with us.

"W-Why did y- Ack! What is wrong with you?!" Natasha was about to ask something forbidden so Tatiana immediately took action.

"Ah..."

Stefan cut off everybody as he slapped Bogdan's back hard, "Got any souvenirs? How about you boss?"

"None."

"None?"

"We ate it on the way."

"FUCK!!!"

"I still have some hot pockets, want some?"

"..."

Breakfast was just being served but what caught my eye was the small entourage that came with Jared and the rest.

They were five all in all and four of them seemed to be soldiers and one civilian. One of the soldiers was a woman but the guy in the middle had the same aura as Morales. However, what piqued my curiosity was their fifth member wearing a slightly oversized vest. She was a woman that kinda looked in her late 20s and she was looking directly at me.

I just locked eyes with her for a brief second but she immediately looked away.

'Hmm? No guns or even a knife in her belt though… Is it all hidden in her vest? Impossible...'

Her body was covered from head to toe with protective equipment but all that could pose some threat was the belt itself or the flashlight she had if used for striking. Besides that, the only other woman in their team seemed to be closely guarding her for some reason and in her case, she was armed to the teeth like everybody else.

'Well, she has that pouch though… but it's weird to store your weapons somewhere too unaccessible...'

"Weird, huh?" Jared whispered as he gave me a fistbump.

I whispered back, "You know her?"

"Eh, I know her name but not the reason she came with us."

"Eh?"

"Come, I'll introduce you."

Jared was already carrying a few plates so he handed half of them to me as we approached them. Jared and I handed a plate to the two other guys first but when I reached out to hand a plate to the target in question, her 'bodyguard' took it from me and handed it to her instead.

The bodyguard just responded with, "Thank you. I'll take it from here."

"Yeah..."

Then Jared started talking, "Sir Harold, this is my cousin, Sky. He runs this place and everything you saw once we entered that gate."

"You? I fucking knew it the moment I saw that sword! I'm Harold! Nice to meet you, kid!"

'Fuck me...'

"My sword?"

Harold cackled, "Yeah, Rod just said to look for the samurai boy and pay respects! I heard some stories so I'll keep my judgemental self to myself. Hah! Just kidding, a lot of youths already surprised me so don't mind what I said. As we're talking already, I'd like to take this time to propose a busi-"

"Sir Harold, that could wait. Let's eat first, okay?"

'He's kinda like Jose or even Oscar now...'

"Right! Where are my manners… let me introduce my team first… Hey you, go first."

One of the soldiers about to scoop some rice abruptly turned his head toward us, "I thought you'd introduce us, sir?!"

"I forgot your name, just do it already!"

"What the fuck, sir?! F-Fine… I'm..."

It was then that everyone introduced themselves, mostly. The two other guys were Richard and Peter, the bodyguard was Mylene, and the woman was Ilana. Ilana wasn't speaking much besides nodding because Mylene was the one that introduced her to us. She was silent most of the time when we were all casually chatting on the tables and she only took a small portion of food for herself.

Kaley tried to talk to her, "Aren't you hungry from the trip? You could eat some more if you want?"

Ilana just shook her head slowly.

"Coffee? How about some coffee? We have hot chocolate too if you want?"

It was then that Ilana nodded when the word 'chocolate' was said. However, she still looked at Harold for a brief moment, seemingly asking for permission to come with Kaley without Mylene following behind her. Several things popped into my head just from that short interaction but instead of finding more clues, I decided to be direct.

Jared at the side looked to be dying to know as well but Alex was keeping him in place.

"Sir Harold, why did you bring her with your team?"

Harold's expression slightly changed, "Hmm? Is it not allowed? Everyone needs protection, right?"

"Not exactly, just curious about her purpose here. If we're talking about protection, it's better if she has a gun or a kni-"

"We're enough."