Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

At this point, I didn't even notice that I dozed off for a few minutes until I was jolted awake by the ship's horn, telling its intent to leave the port. We did say our goodbyes to the group we'd be leaving behind but I still walked out and saw them waving us goodbye before driving off.

It was still a few hours past noon so we'd probably reach home right after they had dinner so I tried to make use of our traveling time to radio in a few people.

Obviously, the first person I tried to contact was the old man, Oscar, and he picked up on the first ring:

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[KID! I heard you're finally getting back! I have some news for ya!]

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"Subic Bay?"

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[Aww~ man! Johnny told you, huh?! It was supposed to be a surprise!]

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"So what's the plan for going there—"

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[Going? I'm already here, you dumbshit! We helped them clear the Marine base and everything! I'm helping them set up and all and I've taken a few dozen panels over here and they're loving it!]

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"WHAT?!"

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[Jealous, huh? Things happen over there, things happen over here too, little shit! I would've loved to welcome you back because the two weeks felt like two years but we're still waiting for more… uh… guests… to arrive.]

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"How about Irene's package?"

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[WHA— She sent something back too?! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I still got it, right?! RIGHT?! I'm~ the fuckin' man— But seriously, don't even try to open that shit or I'll chop your fuckin' balls off! Ya hear?! I'm serious!]

*bzzt*

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"I'm not even gonna try, old man… So, who else is coming?"

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[Figure it out, dumbass! Who do you think I'll wait for besides other veterans like me? My place would surely be crowded once I take them in but I always have a room set aside for her—]

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"OH FUCK! Jennifer's coming, huh?!"

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[HEH! You got that fuckin' right! I guess she misses her old man still… The carrier they're on is getting crowded and crowded with the oh, so special peoples and as usual, they'll just send the not-so-special ones to this place or other much closer shit—no offense to our archipelago but you know how my people think.]

*bzzt*

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"But it works for us—"

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[Whaddaya mean it works for us?! If I see you fuckin' look at her a certain way, I'll beat your fucking dick off!]

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"Not this shit again— No homo but that sounds a little—"

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[YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT! STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER, YOU HEAR?!]

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"Chill, old man. Fine! I'll try to stay away from her. I won't even speak to her while—"

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[WHY?! IS SHE NOT GOOD ENOUGH?! SHE'S A FUCKING MARINE FOR GOD'S SAKE—]

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"Bitch— I dunno if you're getting fucking senile but you have to get your stories straight! D'you want me to fuck her or not?!"

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[AHHHH! STOP MAKING IT SO WEIRD!]

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"You're the one who brought up the topic! And what if she's the one to come to me?! Or god forbid, she gets played by a dumbass?! Are you gonna blame me for that too?! Make up your mind, alright?!"

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[Huh. I didn't think about it that way… You're making a lot of good points. I decided: I give you my blessing. I'm expecting a baby at your earliest convenience—]

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"..."

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[Kid?]

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"I was just talking in hypotheticals…"

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[But I wanna be a grandpa now, kid! I thought you'd put one in yours so I was kinda excited but you fucks keep waiting for the right fucking time! Ah— You might have some problems though…]

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"What are you on about now?"

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[I believe she's a lesbian… I believe that didn't stop you before…]

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"I'm hanging up, you dumbass… Couldn't you have started with that?! She might be committed for all we know!"

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[Haah?! Be a little progressive, alright?! They can have babies too! Just need a proper donor—]

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"Beeeeeep~ The number you've dialed is unattended, the number you dialed—"

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[I KNOW IT'S STILL YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT! ARE YOU GONNA GET HER PREGNANT OR WHAT?!]

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"You— Be a little progressive too, then! It's her choice after the fact, alright?! A-Anyway, do you need me there or something? A delivery or a resupply perchance? I'll still be busy once we arrive but I'll be ready first thing in the morning."

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[Of course, you'll be fucking busy. I wonder how much pussy you're bringing back this time… Ha… But yeah, we're still figuring a lot of things out but I'll give you a call if I ever need anything important… I have— no, we have people back home that could do shit for us…]

*bzzt*

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"Okay, old man. Stay safe, alright?"

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[Heh. Thanks, kid. You too, wear condoms—]

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"Asshole! WANT A BOX OF VIAGRA DELIVERED TO YA?!"

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[HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME MAD WITH THAT!!! NOT ANYMORE!!! GET FUCKED, KID!!! BYEEEEE!!!]

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With that said, I ended the call while laughing my ass out because talking with the old man was something I'll never get tired of and I was glad to know he wasn't just moping around at his home and drinking alcohol but did something great and was now waiting for the arrival of his daughter.

I would've loved to be at least part of the clearing group when they reclaimed the Marine base but I'm pretty sure that there was still a lot of work that needed to be done or wasn't a priority yet, but we'll get right on it once I pay a visit.

But yeah, after that call, the person I tried to contact next was Honasan, one of our helicopter pilots I asked him if there was an available helicopter for immediate use and the response was:

"All of them, sir. Even the one on your roof."

On that note, I asked him to prepare to accompany me and attach a coupling mechanism for the cargo we would be taking from a certain farm and a few other items I promised our one hell of a butler. It wasn't as drawn out of a conversation compared to the one I had with Oscar but the next one I tried to contact was Sebastian— no, Edith so we'd be also straight to the point.