Classless Ascension

Once upon a time in the Dimensional Tower...

About a thousand energetic corpses were diligently trying to catch a handsome, innocent, suave, and very friendly lone human. All were riding, worthy of the Rohirr-something charge!

"Stop fleeing, foolish ghoul! Accept your doom already!" Their leader screamed.

"Nope! Go fuck yourself!" Josh kindly replied.

Josh could only sigh under his bronze helmet. How had this even happened? His cover was still fine, and yet he still had to run for his life?! How would they react if they knew he was human?!

Josh had great confidence in his abilities as a one-man army, but this was pushing it quite a lot. The main issue was the Boss. With a weaker enemy, he could overpower them and redirect their attacks, but not this guy.

"You deadbeats! Show a little enthusiasm!" shouted the smelly ghoul as it glared at its minions that were a distance away from it. They shuddered as they faked excitement.

"Tear him limb to limb!"

"Skin him and wear it!"

"Kill the nightmare and eat it!"

"What? No! We'll bring it back to the stable…."

Nightmare was shaking its head in annoyance. Still, it couldn't help but wonder if serving the ghouls wouldn't be easier. No more being bait, only short and sweet regular patrols…the dream!

"Run like the wind, Nightmare! We're getting the fuck out of here!" Josh heroically called out.

Now, how was he supposed to out-gallop an army? For now, he would remain patient and explore this world. As the chase continued, Josh could see many more monoliths but nothing else.

At least, Nightmare was fast, fast enough to preserve both of their lives. But soon afterward, there came an issue. In the distance, Josh could discern a foggy dark wall full of highly potent and chaotic killing intent.

It reminded him of the sky on the nightmare Floor. This realm seemed to be one big circle, big enough for him to kite the enemies for days— or so he thought. But Josh then noticed that the walls were sluggishly creeping over!

Goddammit! This reminded him of the battle royales he had played in the past. Except, this one was way more brutal as everyone was against him. He would need to slowly chip away at their numbers before he ran out of space to dodge.

No, this wouldn't work either. Could he assassinate the Boss somehow? Probably not. The opponent was still angrily shouting insults at him, standing on his mount in a fury.

Ah, but there was one thing he could exploit! The ghouls seemed to be loyal to that one smelly knight only out of fear. How could he change this? Josh racked his brains.

It would be hard to convince them to courageously revolt while he was running. But then Josh's eye was attracted to the monoliths. Perhaps there was something he could try…

As he passed by a monolith, he attacked it with his pickaxe. The ghouls in the back couldn't help but feel puzzled. What was their target doing? When they reached the monolith themselves, they stared confused. What was this?!

In the rock, a message was engraved:

<Have you heard?>

But as they kept passing monolith after monolith, there were more of these inscriptions:

No one likes the Smelly Knight

None but his nightmare

Isn't this lonely?

He used to be lonely.

So damn lonely!

All until a fateful night

The Smelly Knight and nightmare

Began an intense riding session

One that was filled with pleasure

Filled to the brim, so much it hurts!

Except, the nightmare was the one on top!

The Smelly Knight loved it so very much

That ever since, he hasn't slept a wink!

The only issue is his ass hurts so much

That he can't even sit anymore!

That's how he lost the tournament.

Isn't this sad? No, because he found love!

Only this horse tolerates his lover, the smelly knight

They will live happily ever after, exploiting the other ghouls!

It painted a beautiful love story of forbidden love between a misunderstood hideous smelly ghoul and its loyal companion. Well, one could argue that the undead horse sodomy kinda shattered the cute lovely vibe but whatever.

At that moment, the soldiers couldn't help but turn their eyes toward their leader, the one who was still standing in fury. Except that many unconsciously associated him standing to his ass really hurting.

They glanced at the nightmare under the smelly knight with disgust. All night long without sleep?! Was this why the creature wasn't running away from its master?! Scary!

At this point, Josh was mainly having fun. Still, it seemed like his weird random plan was working. Somehow the fear the minions felt was slowly turning into pure disgust. Who wanted anything to do with such an individual?!

Josh diligently kept inscribing nice little messages:

Fight me 1 V 1,  I dare you!

Coward AND sore loser! Talk about shitty!

Do you even know how to ride, bro? Naw, just how to receive…

All this ghoul knows how to do is fart all day!

Do you dare leave your babysitters behind and fight?!

Josh sighed. How great this felt! Was there anything more beautiful than to slander an enemy? It was one of the small, simple pleasures of life. The angrier the shouts behind him and the better he felt.

"I'm going to destroy you!"

"You will die an atrocious death!"

"Someone erase these fucking lines!"

"ARRRGGG!!!"

In the end, It was only angry screeching. As for the troops, they were getting fed up with this wild goose chase. Their leader was showing a clear lack of self-control.

Of course, Josh exploited this. <If you guys all suddenly leave, I'll kill him 100%>. He could see them stare at his proposal in hesitation. That's when he suddenly ordered Nightmare to stop.

He stood straight as he confidently faced the incoming army with incredible arrogance. They were charging at him with incredible momentum, making the ground tremble. Nightmare showed great discomfort, but it didn't move either.

They were akin to statues as they just stood there. The incoming ghouls were completely taken off-guard. What was happening?! Why was their target suddenly stopping?! Was it to fight the Smelly Knight?!

"Hehe, mad ghoul! There is no way they will betray me! All of you kill him!" The leader screamed at the top of its undead lungs.

But, there was only silence to answer it. The whole realm had become ever so quiet as a thousand ghouls all stopped their mounts at once. Only the leader had kept going forward, alone.

"What?! What are you all doing?! He's right there!" the Boss shouted.

"If you can't even defeat me on your own, what right do you have to order them? They all hate you to the bone. You are unfit to lead!" Josh commented.

"YOU! Die!"

Epic combat began! Just as the first clash was about to happen, the creature gave a savage grin. The fog around it suddenly fluctuated before expanding outward. It engulfed both of them. What was it?!

Nightmare instantly fell, with Josh recalling it. As for him, he was still fine somehow. He dodged the surprised ghoul's assault as he took down the creature's mount too.

"Nooo!!! What have you done!!" The Boss despaired. Seeing such an intense reaction, Josh wondered if his slander story hadn't been real!

Luckily, besides the furious shouts, the Boss didn't seem that strong. Its main attack was to suddenly charge forward without rhyme or reason with an impossibly fast speed. But, the intent was too evident, so Josh was already waiting with a spear ready.

That's how the Boss impaled itself, not once but thrice. The only issue was that a ghoul seemed to be so resilient! Josh could only sigh and resolve himself for a long fight.

After a few hours of non-stop fighting, Josh finally defeated his opponent. He turned toward the crowd of ghouls, expecting applause and awe. Nope, they were all gone.

They had just fought to the death (1 already being in that state), and no one had even witnessed it. Still, how the fuck had a thousand men army gone away without him noticing?! Either way, Josh inspected the drops:

<Monster Book>

- Allows one to record information about monsters in the Tower.

<E Gem Carving knife>

- Useful for jewelry

<D Smelly Earing>

- True to its name

How great! This was the first D-ranked item that he had dropped, and it was so satisfying! As for the monster book…was this even useful? He could just sell the knife.

[Mission completed! Congratulation on surviving!]

[Please select a reward (first clear): True Nightmare Feed | Irregular Femur | Smelly Bead | Monolith]

What the heck were these choices?! Why did every single one sound bad?

True Nightmare Feed: Would it just feed the pet or have special effects?

Irregular Femur: Why did it seem like the ghouls had a femur fetish? What effects could it even have?

Smelly Bead: This one was obviously the better choice power-wise. The only question was: what kind of ability would it be? Josh's gluttony was passive. What if it was the same with this ability?

Monolith: What could one even do with a monolith?!— writing slandering messages, duh! No, seriously, who loved these besides the Gauls?

Josh thought it over for a few seconds but then gave a self-deprecating smile. What was the point of hesitating? Logically all rewards should relatively have a similar value.

"Give me the nightmare feed. Hard work should be rewarded!"

A small dark pill appeared in his hand. Without waiting further, he summoned his pet once more, feeding it. "Here you go, buddy. This is for you."

It gobbled it up, then neighed in satisfaction with eyes closed. That's when it stopped moving as it seemed to be in the process of evolving?! But, it appeared like it would take time. Josh sent it back to its pet space.

"Teleport out!"

As soon as he was out, Josh checked his UW.. Not only was there news, but something big was happening at his school….