Classless Ascension

What defines a being as human? Asking two individuals one would get three answers.

For the Greenwood Lord, it was a race that was weak, lacking potential, and missing something called an ancestral heritage. For Josh, it was having all these weaknesses and yet telling the arrogant deity to suck it.

Was it the most logical choice? Far from it. He should have refused politely and made sure not to burn the bridges. But Josh did something very human. He understood the best logical course of action and still chose to take another path.

He believed in effort and will. Not in a naive dumb way. No, he knew clearly that the choice he had made could very well be objectively wrong. Yet, he wouldn't regret it. Even if it condemned himself— and humanity.

Worst case, he would enjoy his remaining <35 Days> remaining to the fullest. Somehow that value had gone up a lot.

Josh could be seen whistling happily as he exited the Tower.  There was no trace of guilt on his face, his steps were steady, his back straight, and he even wore a big smile. He felt the warm sunshine on his face and couldn't help but feel profoundly at peace.

Well, until screams ruined the moment.

"We're all going to die!" There were many panicking people.

"The end is near, the end is near. Exactly as it has been foretold by the...!" There were false prophets having a blast.

"Do not worry, guys. The MTAs and the S-Rank guilds will find a solution!" There were optimists.

"Honestly, I wouldn't trust the S-Rank guilds that much right now. Who do you think managed to get cursed by a god? I'm sure it's not some low-level dude." There were conspiracy theorists.

"That's bullshit. But yeah, it's going to be hard for the various powers to even see eye to eye." There were also realists.

Josh fiddled with his UW. People online were taking "the end of the world" way better. Just looking at the thread titles brought back his great mood.

- Quick! This is the last chance for you to request nudes from your crush! Just do it!

- The end is near! How near? Bets are open! Blow all your $$$ it's the end of the F@cking world! It doesn't matter if you lose!

- Nooo! I'm still a virgin! Looking for help to cure my condition ASAP! Any girl will do! Actually, any good-looking guy too! Please! I'd rather not settle for a dog… *Begging*

- I blame the vegans for eating all that grass! They've done it and infuriated a forest deity! # Eat ass not grass # Save the world

- ! Warning Graphic Content ! Sending potted plants to space as retribution against the Greenwood Lord. Do not miss it! *Tons of unrelated emojis*

- Totally not a conspiracy theory! Who said anything about the Greenwood Lord being a forest deity?! #Ogre #Massive Erection #Greenwood #QED #Haters will say it's fake

Wow just wow. In times like these, Josh truly loved humanity. Yep, they were all madmen. One could argue most were probably scared shitless and just using humor to calm their nerves. So what? Any species making fun of literal evil gods were great in Josh's book.

That's when he saw a lot of messages in the Draconic chat about a guild meeting. This concerned the fate of the world and was clearly important. There was only one thing left for him to do. After all, he had to take responsibility. Taking a deep breath he carefully typed:

-Josh MF Malum: You guys can figure it out without a low level like me. Good luck! ;) Going back to farming, talk later.

Then he entered Floor 13 once more. What about the whole Curse thing? It may have been his fault but he would never admit it.

Honestly, coming clean was the fastest way to end up either locked up or assassinated. In any context, it was always easier to kill than to protect (as proven by Floor 13). There were bound to be a few lunatics out there that would have just loved to see humanity fall.

Josh would simply keep climbing doing his best not to die. In fact, this didn't change his plans. It potentially just meant that the path ahead would be more troublesome.

Anyway, it was time for some farming. It was a matter of applying the strategy he already knew, this would clearly be easy.

He simply waited for the failure message patiently while twiddling with his new ring. But no matter how he looked, he couldn't figure it out. It was bronze-looking but there weren't even any details. It was very plain.

It sure felt longer than usual. Was it perhaps because he didn't have the same sense of wonder toward what would happen? He even started wondering if he should task Navi with keeping track of time. It probably could, right?

That's when he heard a sound coming from relatively far away. It seemed to be the hopping of shrooms. Just hearing it made him puzzled but seeing it confused him even more.

Somehow the assassins were running next to their target. They had made peace?!  All of them were angrily charging at Josh.

"Wait, do you guys remember your last life or something?" But then it hit him. 'Marked to death by the Greenwood Lord himself'. These things were apparently copies of his subjects. Was this what marked to death meant?

Oh my god! What a tragedy! Cursed to have every monster in the area charge at him madly?! Oh no! For some weird reason, Josh simply couldn't wipe the huge grin off his face. This 'vengeful god' had seemingly cursed him with attracting forest monsters.

This meant he would have no respite no matter if it was day or night. He would have to always remain alert. His hands would most likely bear the brunt of it all. Perhaps he would soon need to go to the hospital to treat them. It would play out like this:

"Doc, I need you to heal my hands." Josh would mutter utterly in pain.

"What happened?!" A handsome and well-built U-bot doctor would ask him in simulated sympathy.

"My hands are sore from picking all that loot, Doc! So sore!" He would complain in anguish, with glistering tears in his eyes.  Yes, Josh could clearly see this very plausible future.

He stopped daydreaming and annihilated all the nightmarish shrooms, leaving only his protection target that was currently trying to bite him. Yes, the toothless one.

He then simply began walking with the monster literally glued on him. There was a very good thing about all this. Since the enemies didn't care about the target, Josh didn't have to worry about it. He took some string out and tied it up really solidly.

It was still wriggling its body trying to attack him even while completely wrapped. Every time the assassins appeared, Josh simply threw that shroom package a little distance away, far enough so it wouldn't be poisoned.

Funny how this curse had actually rendered this Floor extremely easy. Well, it may very well change based on the nature of the mission. For instance, Josh really hoped there wouldn't be a sneak one.

Just by spawning, he'd possibly get noticed instantly. He wasn't sure how this thing worked exactly but chances were this magic could be sensed by these creatures from afar. Perhaps it was similar to the insects that targeted whatever had the stench of their dead brethren.

In any case, he soon reached the clearing and initiated the Boss fight. When it summoned minions Josh didn't have to stain his own hand. Before, he had worked hard to kill them as soon as possible so they didn't cause damage.

Now, all he needed to do was to move right next to the boss and dodge at the very last second. Yes, the minions kept getting killed by their ally. It kept rampaging until they were all dead. After that, Josh just needed to repeat the same strategy he had used earlier until the creature finally fell.

He waited for the revitalization cinematic, but it was nowhere to be seen.  Instead, there was now a small glowing light that soon turned into an earing. It seemed to be another part of the Big Chungus set. Pocketing it, Josh then went to grab his hostage, no, protection target.

He forcefully dragged it all the way to the other side of the bridge before releasing it. Of course, the creature was hilariously still trying to bite him without much success. That is when it finally came.

[Congratulations on Completing Floor 13 Hellish Mode!]

[Feat Accomplished, First solo clear of Hellish Floor 13!]

[Reward Big Fungus Item B— Error Error. Curse of the Greenwood Lord Detected!]

[Reward Big Chungus item Box!]

"System? What drug are you on? It seems to be some solid stuff. I already cleared this earlier…" Josh remarked teasingly to a Tower Protocol that ignored him. Was this perhaps because of the gods crashing the party? It seemed like it was having issues earlier too.

At least he had received his reward. Using it, he randomly received a necklace. Trying on the set he resolved to farm it for it would help increase his survivability. He then restarted the Floor, doing it over and over.

The good thing was that he didn't need to wait for anything, he only needed to find the clearing with the Boss. Other than that, the mission would pretty much clear itself as his target came to him. Before long, Josh stood before a fat pile of loot.

<E+ Big Chungus Necklace>

<E+ Big Chungus Necklace>

<E+ Big Chungus Necklace>

<E+ Big Chungus Necklace>

But why was it all necklaces?! Josh couldn't help but despair at his ungodly luck. He only had one neck! What was he supposed to do with all the extra? Sell it? Who would buy one piece of a set item?!

Still, Josh persevered. It took him 24 tries total including the previous victories for him to finally manage to complete it. The entire thing took him the whole day, which was pretty fast all things considered. He had gotten 18 necklaces somehow…Still, he couldn't help but smile as he observed his loot:

<Big Chungus Set Effect (3)>

Resolve of the Big Chungus: Increases defense based on size (Passive)

<Big Chungus Set Effect (5)>

Calling of the Big Chungus: Chungus Ally Cooldown 1 hour.

<Big Chungus Set Effect (7)>

Bloating of the Big Chungus: Become one with the Chungus Ally. Toggle.

It was finally time to test the abilities. Josh first called the Chungus ally with a bit of reticence. Then appeared a short and fat phantomatic rabbit eating a shroom. It started hopping around him gleefully.

That is when Josh used the Bloating ability. Instantly the bunny merged into him as his entire physique began growing. It kept going until Josh was about 5 times his usual size. He felt like a giant. He felt powerful!

Letting out a mighty roar, he approached a tree before violently punching it. That is when the dead tree remained perfectly still. Yes, Josh had barely managed to break a bit of its bark. It seemed as pointless as the toothless shroom attacking him before.

His size was increased but not his strength. His massive body even recoiled backward a few meters from the force of the blow. He felt like a ball that had rebounded very naturally. He would need to test the defensive buff at some point. Still, that gave him a wonderful idea.

He tried to get his morphing weapon to become as big as possible. It could take the appearance of a greatsword about double the size of a normal weapon, but that wasn't enough. His whole idea was to get a really HUGE weapon. Ah, but a fairly light one.

Why? No matter how great someone was with a knife, how much damage could actually be done to a gigantic dragon with it?  It would be the equivalent of removing a tiny bit of skin from it. Josh felt like one day he would need such power.

So yes, size mattered. In this specific case at least. It was time to go home. The panic would have diminished a bit, right?!...