Beauty and the Bodyguard

“Good opportunity? What’s so good about planting trees?” Pinliang didn’t quite understand what Xiaofu was trying to get at.

“Liang Bro, think about it! You could get a tree model and etch Chu Mengyao’s name on there! That’ll please her for sure, it’s what girls like! Flourishes!” Xiaofu said. “Just like in that movie _The Return of the Condor Heroes_ , when Guo Xiang gave Hou Yangguo fireworks as a birthday present! It made her so happy she married him!”

“Did they marry? I remember Guo Xiang becoming a monk?” Pinliang blinked.

“Uh… Maybe he did become a monk, I don’t remember. Maybe I’m thinking of the wrong movie…” Xiaofu said, embarrassed. “But I think becoming a monk is for the sake of love, too- anyway, this tactic’s gonna work for sure!”

“You’re telling me to give her fireworks?” Pinliang asked.

“Yeah, Liang Bro- haven’t you heard that it’s never night with fireworks?? We’ll just give those to Chu Mengyao!” Xiaofu suggested.

“Yes, we’ll do that! I’ll go buy a sapling!” Pinliang found the idea to be a lot simpler and better than writing a letter in blood. At the very least lighting up the night with fireworks didn’t involve self-mutilation.

“The sapling needs to be special- if it’s the same as everybody else’s it won’t look special!” Xiaofu said.

“Right, I’ll do some research and get an imported sapling later.” Pinliang was getting excited himself- Xiaofu had finally provided a useful suggestion.

“Liang Bro, do we need to tell this to lil sis Xiaoxiao? She’s the big sis boss of our class now… We might need to mention something this huge to her beforehand.” Xiaofu reminded.

“That’s right, we do need to mention this. It’d be bad if it conflicts with some plan lil sis Xiaoxiao thought up against Lin Yi.”

Pinliang asked Xiaoxiao out to a corner of the field after school, thinking of telling her about Xiaofu’s suggestion before making the preparations.

Xiaoxiao listened to Xiaofu’s explanation patiently, but wasn’t too interested in whether Pinliang was chasing Mengyao or not. Her target was Lin Yi.

“Is that it? What does that have to do with me?” Xiaoxiao frowned. “I thought you guys came up with something to humiliate Lin Yi with!”

“Humiliate Lin Yi… Lil sis Xiaoxiao, didn’t you want to punish him? How come it’s just humiliating him now?” Pinliang blinked. He’d assumed that she had some serious beef to pick with Lin Yi, but that didn’t seem like that case.

“Why do you care what I want?” Xiaoxiao hmphed. “I got humiliated so bad today, so I need to pay him back the same way!”

“Uh… If that’s all then I actually have an idea…” Xiaofu’s eyes lit up.

“What kind of strategy is that?” Xiaoxiao wondered if this dog headed general could come up with something insightful this time.

“We’re going for flair and impact, right? So we’ll be needing fireworks and everything. We’ll give you some firecrackers, and you can hang them on Lin Yi’s butt, light it up, and… Heh heh, it’s as humiliating as it gets with the show’s from Lin Yi’s butt!” Xiaofu wasn’t good at much, but he was pretty competent when it came to petty tricks.

“Oh?” Xiaoxiao considered the possibility carefully. If all went well, then it was actually a pretty good plan. Hanging firecrackers on Lin Yi’s butt without getting discovered, and when Pinliang lit up the fireworks she could ignite those firecrackers, making it look like he’d gotten hit by some of the fireworks… Even if Lin Yi wanted revenge afterwards he wouldn’t have any evidence to go on!

“Lil sis Xiaoxiao, I like Xiaofu’s idea!” Pinliang was full of hate towards Lin Yi, so humiliating Lin Yi was something he’d definitely cooperate with Xiaoxiao on.

“Uh… Let me think about it first.” Xiaoxiao wasn’t as impulsive as Pinliang was- she needed to properly look into this and see how likely of a success it’d be.

“Yao Yao, are we going sapling-planting tomorrow too?” Yushu was pretty excited for the event tomorrow. To tell the truth, she always looked forward to things as long as they were fresh and interesting.

“Of course we are. Years and years after our graduation, when we’ve gotten married, we’d be able to bring out children back here and tell them their mothers came to this school. It’ll be really educational!” Mengyao nodded, all serious.

“Oh, would our children have the same father then?” Yushu asked.

“Shu!!” Mengyao glared- she wanted to pry Yushu’s head open and see what special ingredient was mixed up in that structure. How could she so naturally turn something so serious into a joke?!

“Hm?” Yushu blinked.

“Open your mouth.” Mengyao ordered.

“No! Never.” Yushu shook her head.

“Why?” Mengyao blinked. Yushu had always been pretty obedient.

“You’d pull my tongue. It hurts.” Yushu said,

“Why do you keep saying that if you know it’d hurt, then?” Mengyao hmphed.

“Then I won’t talk about that anymore.” Yushu promised.

“That’s what you always say! It never ends, you’ll just do it again next time! The time after next time, when will it end?” Mengyao didn’t believe Yushu anymore.

“Yao Yao, the original saying is day after day, when would it end?” Yushu corrected.

“Oh. Day, then. It’s the same, who care- Shu! You’re changing the subject again!” Mengyao didn’t know what to say- Yushu almost got away again.

“Heh…” Yushu stuck her tongue out. “Aren’t we going to do some research? We need to go buy some saplings!”

“Fine then…” Mengyao decided to forgive Yushu for now. Dealing with a best friend like this required an open heart- she needed to be the better woman and take a step back! Otherwise, she’d die from frustration. “Go tell Lin Yi to follow us in his car. We can’t put small trees in our car.”

“Alrighty! Shield Brooo- Shield Brooo!!” Yushu called out loudly.

Lin Yi had went back into his room after seeing Yushu and Mengyao arguing- he’d gotten used to the two’s behaviors already. He came walking out his room after Yushu’s summons. “What?”

“Shield Bro, I wanna eat shark meat again!” Yushu said.

Mengyao almost knocked her head on her sofa and tripped over- weren’t they just talking about saplings?? Why was Yushu talking about shark meat?

“Oh, they don’t sell it in the markets. You wanna go catch one yourself?” Lin Yi was speechless- shark meat wasn’t good at all, so how come this Miss Chen liked eating stuff like that so much?

“Oh, oh! Sure! Yao Yao, let’s go to the sea and hunt for some sharks, okay?” Yushu suggested.