A Will Eternal

Some of the imps wielded wooden rods that they would normally use to mix medicines. Others rode atop vicious beasts who had blank eyes but moved with surprising quickness. A few of them even carried pill furnaces with them.

Many of them had flamestones in hand. All looked particularly excited as they raced toward Bai Xiaochun. Apparently, now that they had ruined the world in which they lived, they were very excited to see a new ‘test tube’ arrive.

Furthermore, considering how large of a test tube he was, it meant that countless medicinal pills they had created over years of research could finally be properly tested. The imps couldn’t keep from hooting and hollering in excitement.

They were looking at Bai Xiaochun like a wolf looking at a beautiful woman, their eyes shining with passion, as if they wished to experiment with him and learn every little thing about him.

They were even struggling with each other to be first among the crowd, to the point where fights were breaking out. It was really very dramatic.

Before, heaven and earth had only been filled with the muffled boom of exploding pill furnaces, and had been relatively peaceful and quiet. But now, the entire place was buzzing, filled with shouts and cries of all sorts.

Bai Xiaochun looked around at the countless imps rushing out of the mountains like mice. Most of them were so smudged with dark soot from the exploding pill furnaces that they were pitch black. After a moment, their shouts and cries brought Bai Xiaochun back to his senses.

“Test tube?” At first he thought perhaps he had heard wrong, but after hearing the same thing a few times in a row, he started to get angry. “They’re calling me their test tube? Dammit! You people are the test tubes! Everyone in your clan is a test tube!!!”

Most people wouldn’t get so angry at being called something like that, but Bai Xiaochun was a grandmaster in the Dao of medicine, and had performed countless tests on animals.

It would be like if a pig butcher faced a mob who said that he was a pig that needed to be butchered. It was a level of insult that caused his hair to stand on end.

Even as Bai Xiaochun began to devolve into a rage, the incoming imps smiled, revealing yellowish teeth. At the same time, they began to pull out medicinal pills to throw at him.

“Hey, test tube, why don’t you try this pill? It’s been passed down for nine generations in my family? It’s called a Yin-Yang Retroversion Pill!”

“Don’t even think of trying to steal what’s mine, you! Come over here, test tube. Try <em>my</em> pill. I just perfected the formula recently. It’s called a Burping Pill. After you consume it, your burps will smell like food you ate last year!”

“Get the hell out of my way! It took me a hundred years to successfully concoct this Nine Lives Reincarnation Pill!”

Although none of the imps seemed to get along, they were all pulling out medicinal pills and throwing them at Bai Xiaochun. Clearly, it was a skill they possessed, and they had experience doing this sort of thing. Because of that, the medicinal pills would explode before they actually reached Bai Xiaochun, creating a toxic cloud that threatened to envelop him.

Shivering, Bai Xiaochun backed up. And yet, before he could even move, another wave of medicinal pills shot in his direction.

Booms rang out left and right, forcing Bai Xiaochun to dodge as quickly as he could. Unfortunately, there were a lot of imps, and thus, a lot of medicinal pills. Within only a few breaths’ worth of time, the entire area was covered with a powerful cloud of medicinal powder that was virtually impossible to escape.

Some of the imps were too slow, and couldn’t get close enough to throw pills. When they saw that Bai Xiaochun was just about to be overwhelmed by the medicinal pills, they started to get very nervous.

“Hold on, test tube! Try <em>my</em> medicinal pill!”

“Dammit, take mine too!” The multicolored cloud was quite a shocking sight to behold.

As for Bai Xiaochun, he was in a very tight spot, and was just about to make his escape, when the cloud caught him and rolled over him….

But that wasn’t all. Many of the imps were intent on capturing him alive, and were therefore a bit nervous about how things were playing out….

“You people are outrageous! Just when we got this great new test tube, you’re going to go and kill him!?”

“Hold on! If we can’t catch him alive, we should at least try out this pill I’ve been working on for my entire life. It’s called a Resurrection Pill!!”

“Hang in there, test tube. Try out my Integrated Super-Tonic Pill! That should keep you going for at least an incense stick’s worth of time!” And thus… even more medicinal pills shot forth and exploded.

The imps looked at the shocking cloud, eyes burning with anticipation and passion. They truly wanted to see what would happen when Bai Xiaochun absorbed the medicines they had researched and created, and if there were any unexpected developments. They were so excited that they began to argue amongst themselves.

“Do you know how hard it is to come across new test tubes? This might be the last one!”

“Aiya. I just hope that before this test tube dies, he can inhale some of my medicinal smoke…. It’s all your fault, people. How embarrassing for us Dark Concocters. Have you never seen a test tube before or something?”

As the imps argued, the boy that was the spirit automaton gasped and backed up a bit. Although he didn’t need to fear the medicinal smoke, it was so terrifying that even he felt chills.

“The sovereign was right. The Dark Concocters really are horrifying. Give them the right circumstances and resources, and they could definitely destroy the entire starry sky! They should make short work of that shameless bastard!” With that, the boy excitedly looked on to see what happened to Bai Xiaochun. Even just imagining what was to come was quite pleasurable to him.

The Dark Concocters likewise all craned their necks, causing countless gazes to fall on the roiling smoke. It was at this point that, all of a sudden, a boom rang out as smoke erupted out in all directions. At the same time, Bai Xiaochun shot out from inside, his hair disheveled, his face smudged with black patches. His face was a mixture of red, pink, and yellow colors, almost as if he had been dyed. He really didn’t look to be in good shape at all.

In addition to fleeing, he was sneezing loudly. Even more exaggerated was the noxious stench which spread out in all directions, and the fact that tears were streaming down his cheeks. Then he opened his mouth as if to shout, only to spit out a ball of fire….

He was itching everywhere, especially in his private parts, enraging him to the point where he was nearly senseless. All of these were things that he had never experienced before in life.

Worst of all was that a multitude of marks had appeared on his face…. There was a tortoise, a bird, a dog, a tree leaf, and many others. Some even looked like pill furnaces. Some were even repeats of other marks.

“That’s my mark! Hahaha! The test tube got one of my medicinal pills! I’m definitely the newest <em>Patriarch Mystery Pill!”</em>

“Hey, my mark is there too! See that little tortoise!? This is awesome!”

“Dammit! Why isn’t my mark there? <em>Why?!?!</em> I threw out over a hundred pills!”

“Don’t even try to compete with me. I’m definitely the Dark Concocters’ new <em>Patriarch Mystery Pill!!”</em>

Of course, the Dark Concocters had long since reached a point in the Dao of medicine where they could cause personal marks to appear on people who had consumed their medicinal pills. Thus, those who didn’t see any marks were beating their chests and stamping their feet in lamentation.

Bai Xiaochun was feeling all sorts of strange sensations, from tickling to torment. And then he heard the things the imps were saying, and his eyes turned crimson. Unheard-of levels of rage began to course through him as he descended into madness.

He was the one who used medicinal pills to deal with people! Now, for the first time, he was being harmed by the effects of unusual medicinal pills. It was a feeling that had him hovering on the verge of insanity.

Plus, as a grandmaster of the Dao of medicine, the vicious banter and ridicule of the imps was even more humiliating.

“Complete and utter bullying!!! Dammit, you people are forcing my hand! Let me tell you, when I get pissed off, I frighten even myself!! I’ll show you who’s the <em>true</em>… <em>Patriarch Mystery Pill!!!”</em> Slapping his bag of holding, he produced a handful of medicinal pills.

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