i'm not a bad man

Chapter 501 Understood

This is the second time since we met that Zuo Xiaowei has asked me to be more ruthless towards people and things, and she is the only one who has advised me to do this after so many things happened. I absolutely I didn't expect that in the end, I would get the understanding I wanted most from a woman who wanted to be used by me, which made me feel very complicated.

I'm wondering, why do different people produce different results?So, I looked deeply at Zuo Xiaowei, and then remembered some of our experiences.

We met in a bar. Because she is pretty and can sing well, there will inevitably be people who harass her in the bar. When I am there, I will find ways to resolve them. When I am not around, she will She has to bear it alone. Once she behaves too aloof, she will be insulted by those people and scold her for being fake aloof. A truly aloof would not come to a place like a bar to sell her songs; therefore, Zuo Xiaowei is a real person who A woman who has come from the bottom of society, she is still different from Qiao Jiao. She can understand the pain of a person moving up from the bottom of society and the unequal treatment he will inevitably suffer. For those of us who have been on the fringes of society for a long time, For people, the so-called "be cruel" is indeed a means of self-protection...

I finally spoke to her and said, "If you say it more harshly, will it really help?"

"Of course it works. When I was in Qingdao, I always rented a house, and then I met a rogue landlord. Even though the lease period was over, he just found various reasons not to return the deposit... They relied on us. The cost of defending rights is high, and I don’t have time to argue with him... Once, I met this kind of rogue landlord again. I finally couldn’t stand it anymore, so I decided to fight with him... During that time, I didn’t even go to the bar. , I moved all the valuable appliances in the house... The landlord called the police, and I told them that these appliances were worn out and needed to be repaired... The police force is so precious. After coming twice, they let us negotiate on our own. Handling... I have read online a long time ago. Regarding this kind of dispute, the state agencies will not deliberately favor one party. They usually let it go freely. At this time, it is a competition to see who is more ruthless and can endure... In the end, in the room Without home appliances, he couldn't rent out the house, so he had to return the deposit to me, and then I returned the home appliances to him... Although it wasted a lot of time, I also safeguarded my legal rights, so, Don't give in and be more ruthless, it will really help."

I nodded, then smiled again and said, "Does this count as cruel?"

"I think it's cruel enough!"

"Whether it's cruel or not is another matter, but it solves the problem anyway."

"Yes, if I have been weak, I will have no choice but to let him bully me... I am not saying that we outsiders coming to a strange city to work are already very pitiful. These landlords are relatively poor in this city. Okay, they still want to bully us, I don’t know where their hearts are!”

"Yes, he really shouldn't bully you like this... But you won't be bullied by these people again in the future. You are now a rising female singer."

"But I can't deny that this is indeed what I have experienced... Therefore, after wandering outside for so long and running into obstacles everywhere, I really hope to return to the small town and bring you there with me. Unfortunately, the person who gave birth to me and raised me The small town is actually not my final destination...there will also be bullying and bullying...So, no matter where you go, only when you are strong can you live with dignity."

Listening to Zuo Xiaowei's words, I suddenly understood what the purpose of all that I am doing now. Qiao Jiao would not understand, nor would Ren Ran. This feeling can only be experienced by people who have truly lived at the bottom of society. Only then will we understand.

At this moment, I suddenly wanted to drink more with Zuo Xiaowei from the bottom of my heart. There was no conspiracy, just so that she could understand me, my inner struggle, helplessness and these last resort choices.

Yes, I have an elder brother named Wu Luoge, and he is indeed very grateful now. But people can change. If one day, for some reason, he is no longer close to my family, or even turns against me, what should I do? manage?
By that time, it will be too late to regain your ambition; then why not take advantage of the time when you are still on good terms with Wu Luoge to create your own career?Only in this way can we truly deal with any variables that may arise in the future.

What's more, even if Wu Luoge has been on good terms with our family, it doesn't mean that he will not experience other ups and downs in his life. I have witnessed with my own eyes that Chang Tianming was reduced from the richest man in a small town to a prisoner. Among all the variables in life, he is the only one. The most reliable; therefore, everything I do now is not wrong.

……

When I thought about this, my mood suddenly improved a lot; this time, I took the initiative to pull Zuo Xiaowei up, and then pointed to the opposite side and said: "There is a quiet bar opposite, let's go have some more drinks..."

"What's the reason?" "Just for the ruthlessness you said, let's have a drink."

"If you will never be bullied or plotted by others again... then it's really worth a toast."

After saying that, Zuo Xiaowei also pulled me and walked to the opposite side in the early spring evening breeze. In my memory, for the first time, I felt that I didn’t want to separate from Zuo Xiaowei easily. In the past, I was always afraid of her pestering me, but tonight, I was in the mood to keep drinking with her.

I even kind of forgot what purpose I came here with.

……

In the quiet bar, we sat in a corner where others would not easily notice, and ordered another dozen beers. I was very happy, and Zuo Xiaowei was also very happy. We kept talking about the funny things that happened in Qingdao before. Gradually, she became completely drunk and fell in front of me.

Judging from Zuo Xiaowei's drinking capacity, she has really reached her limit this night, because at this moment, even I feel dizzy. The last time she could drink me to this extent alone was on the road. A drinking buddy I met; although my drinking capacity now is not as good as it was back then, it is definitely not what Zuo Xiaowei can drink to pass out, but I did feel a little dizzy.

I picked up Zuo Xiaowei and prepared to walk outside the quiet bar. When I was about to go out, I stopped. After some mental struggle, I put on a hat and a mask for her, just to prevent others from recognizing her. out of her.

……

This night, I deliberately chose a small hotel with a very ordinary environment. This kind of small hotel would not attract other people's attention, and then stayed in it with Zuo Xiaowei, because I knew she would vomit, and she would be completely drunk until she died. If there is no one to take care of her, the vomitus may get stuck in the trachea, which is very dangerous.

I did not lie on the same bed with Zuo Xiaowei, nor did I fall asleep; while taking care of Zuo Xiaowei, I dug out the songs she had written before from the bag she carried with her, and then spent the whole night , modified some places that I think are not mature enough or have flaws.

In the middle, Zuo Xiaowei did vomit, and she did drink so much that she didn’t even wake up when she vomited...

The only time she spoke was when it was almost dawn, she talked in her sleep. In her dream, she called my name over and over again, asking me not to leave her, telling me that the pair of bracelets was a shadow that she could not let go of her whole life... …

Then cry.

It wasn't until I hugged her that she shrank into my arms and burst into tears.

(End of this chapter)