i'm not a bad man

Chapter 45
It was a sunny morning. Ren Ran drove the car very fast. After a while, she drove the car to the "Jiaozhou Bay Bridge". I have been traveling in China for so long. In addition to the newly built "Zhuhai-Hong Kong-Macao Bridge", there are also I didn’t have a chance to walk around. This is the longest cross-sea bridge I have ever walked on, and it is also the cross-sea bridge I have walked on the most.

The reason why the city of Qingdao gives people a feeling of romance and freedom is due to this bridge; every time you fly on this bridge, you will be accompanied by seabirds, especially in the summer evening, with the red, blue and pink sky, The illuminated high-rise buildings and my old-fashioned RV drove along the bridge into the night of the city. What I saw in the rearview mirror was the present, but it was driving backwards towards the future. At this time, how could I not look forward to meeting those in the city? How about a romantic encounter with beautifully dressed beauties?What's more, there's endless beer and seaside restaurants that never close...

I opened all the car windows, stretched my hands out of the window, and finally felt the residual heat of late autumn and the slowly blowing sea breeze.

"Han Chao."

"Ok?"

"It's a bit boring. You've written a lot of songs before. Let's listen to them."

I looked at Ren Ran, a little dazed, because I have lost my hobby of music for too long, especially in the past two years, I rarely even touch the guitar. It’s not that I don’t like music anymore, I just don’t want to recall those who used music to heal themselves. days, but the music I originally wrote seems to still be there.

Where?
I thought about it for a long time under Ren Ran's attention, and then took out a USB flash drive from a bag containing headphones, and then said to Ren Ran: "They are all packed in here, can your car accommodate a USB flash drive?" "

"sure."

With that said, Ren Ran opened the cover on the center console. There was really a place to insert the USB flash drive inside. At her urging, I inserted the USB flash drive in and watched what was being read on the display. The words I chose made me feel a little complicated, and I was more confused: What kind of melodies did I write at that time?
It's really been too long.

Unexpectedly, the first song turned out to be a very rhythmic and brisk song with a very funky rhythm (one of the types of dance music). Ren Ran glanced at me in confusion and unconsciously followed the rhythm. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, looking relaxed and contented.

The second song had the same style. At this time, Ren Ran finally couldn't help but asked me: "How could you write such a song in your mood at that time? And why are there no lyrics?"

I tried to remember, and then I remembered the reason; after pondering for a while, I said to Ren Ran: "At that time, I really longed for this kind of freedom and romance, so composing the music was very easy. I tried to fill in the lyrics, but there was a sudden rush in my mind. All that came out were despair, depression, helplessness, anger, these dark words... I didn't dare to let myself split into two people, so I gave up writing lyrics and only used music to express my inner longing... I thought, When my mood gets better one day and the weather becomes clearer, I will definitely fill in the lyrics for these songs, but this matter has been delayed for four years..."

Ren Ran nodded, and then he was immersed in it again. It wasn't until the next song was played that he said to me: "I have never heard of this style of music. What kind of song is this?"

"CityPop...the scene is loose, leisurely, and summery; the context is realism and humor; the music is band-based: focusing on performance and rhythm...This is the fun of listening to CityPop...most CityPop-style music works will incorporate Vacation, beach and summer atmosphere express a kind of escape from urban pressure... At that time, I was very obsessed with this style of music. It was precisely because I was immersed in it that I couldn't extricate myself, so I bought a RV. , chose to escape... and became a believer in freedom and romance."

"Okay, I don't understand, but I can probably understand your mood at that time... It was indeed music that saved you. If you hadn't found the motivation to escape in music, you would have had a character that liked to get into trouble at that time. , under long-term depression, I really don’t know what extreme things you will do.”

I smiled, then opened the car window wider, closed my eyes, and enjoyed this rare leisurely moment... But for some reason, when my enjoyment was about to reach its peak, I thought of Ba Xiao again. The light and bald forest then became a little breathless, just like the steel and concrete in the city, which collapsed suddenly, with no way to escape, and was crushed to pieces by the remaining bricks and tiles.

At this time, Ren Ran called me again: "Han Chao."

"Ok?"

"You are so talented, why don't you choose to pursue music like Xiaowei?...I think it would be great if you could go to BJ with Xiaowei. At least the two of you will experience a common struggle. process. No matter which one of you succeeds in the future, you will be the soul mate of the other."

"One moment you ask me to eat Luxi's soft rice, and the next moment you ask me to be Zuo Xiaowei's soul mate. How many pieces do you want to break me into?"

Ren Ran laughed: "As long as it is beneficial to you, I will think about it for you."

I didn't echo Ren Ran's laughter, but said in a low tone: "If I go back to Qingdao, I think it would be good to stay with you and do something... The music world is not any more noble than a construction site." "You Do you really think so?"

"Ah."

Ren Ran nodded and said with a smile: "Suddenly I felt that I was worth it... I just didn't expect that after everyone had been eating and drinking together for so long, we would end up depending on each other."

"It's a bit sad to say this, but if you think about it carefully, this is an inevitable consequence of changing your lifestyle. We will also make many new friends."

Ren Ran was briefly absent-minded, and then smiled and said to me: "Compared to meeting new friends, I still prefer this feeling of being dependent on you... Han Chao, I think you must be a gift given to me by God. , because you always healed me in different ways at different stages. When I wanted to indulge, you taught me to drink and smoke. When I wanted to cultivate myself, you gave me such good music and a career. The hope...I suddenly feel that I may never be able to live without you in this life."

I smiled, and then Ren Ran asked again: "Do you like Qingdao?"

I subconsciously looked outside the car window at the "Jiaozhou Bay Bridge" that stretched endlessly, as if connecting the city and the sea, and then nodded and replied: "I didn't feel it when I was here before, but now that I have to leave, I really can't let it go. This is the only city I have ever seen where romance and gravity coexist.”

"Then let's make an agreement. No matter what situation you face after returning home, you will come back with me in the end."

"try your best."

I spoke calmly, but my heart became increasingly uneasy, because in six or seven hours, I would see the consequences of running away from home four years later...

"Han Chao, give me this USB flash drive. I really like this style of music."

"no problem."

"So when will you be able to fill in the lyrics for these songs?"

I exhaled heavily and replied in an expectant tone: "One day, I will really feel happy."

……

The journey went smoothly. Ren Ran and I got off the highway at 05:30 in the afternoon, and then drove all the way to the place where I used to live; I was in a mixed mood and smoked two cigarettes in a row downstairs in the community. Then he took Ren Ran upstairs.

This is a house my dad bought 12 years ago. At that time, high-rise buildings were not advocated, so this house only has 6 floors and is not equipped with an elevator. Although it is a bit old, by today's standards, this is a good house. A standard bungalow with a good location. This is the only thing that can still prove that my family has been in a good place after my dad's accident.

……

When I reached the fifth floor, I stopped and looked up. The only white door in the whole building appeared in my sight. I felt inexplicably desolate because this door was also the only door in the whole building. One has no couplets posted on it.

(End of this chapter)