i'm not a bad man

Chapter 3 You’re afraid you won’t be able to leave
Sister Ren Ran didn't realize it. She drove around the mall in a flash. In front of her was another intersection. This intersection was interspersed with railways. A green train was passing by carrying a few passengers. All the cars were giving way. ...I suddenly didn’t want to leave anymore.

"Sister Ren Ran, just send it here."

"You don't want me to go sit in your RV?"

"It's just a second-hand broken RV. I don't like to clean it up. It's a mess inside and there's not even a place to sit."

"It's the same excuse every time. I think you just don't want us to know where you live..." After saying that, she looked at me with suspicion and said, "Han Chao, is that something?" You just made up the RV and your experience of traveling around the country to deceive ignorant girls in bars, right?"

"I really have an RV, I'm not making this up."

"I don't believe it. We've known each other for almost a year and a half, and I haven't heard of anyone seeing your RV..."

"believe it or not."

With that said, I opened the car door and prepared to get out of the car. However, Sister Ren Ran grabbed me again and said, "Just take me to see your RV. Next time one of them will question you." , I can also say a few words for you...otherwise, everyone will think you are a liar, and they will never have anything to do with you in the future."

I smiled: "In a place like a bar, who can really have a heart-to-heart relationship with someone... If we really have a heart-to-heart relationship, will you still play tricks on me like this tonight?"

"Don't take it seriously, it's just a joke..."

"It's such a big joke. They sent me to someone else's room... It's a shame that I'm thick-skinned. Otherwise, I would have died there. I would have been so embarrassed."

"Isn't it just because everyone knows you are thick-skinned that you dare to make such a big joke?"

I'm a little speechless...

At this time, Sister Ren Ran suddenly took out a box from the back seat and handed it to me: "This is the cake I bought for you. I originally wanted to go to your place to make up for your birthday...but you If you don't welcome me so much, I can't help but force you."

"Thank you, Sister Ren Ran."

"You're welcome...then I'm really going to leave?"

"Let's go. Slow down on the road."

I got out of the car with the cake in hand. Sister Ren Ran didn't say anything more. Then she turned around and sped away in the direction in which she came... Watching the car quickly disappearing into the light and shadow of the city, I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. taste……

I'm not that stingy, and I won't hate anyone because of this prank.Maybe, just because Sister Ren Ran and I talked about RVs and my RV life, I realized that I had really been parked in the city of Qingdao for too long...

My body rots in the world, and my soul grows in all things. My life should be ideal, romantic, and mediocre... Therefore, I must drive the RV to see the sea, the Gobi, the grasslands, and the glaciers. , seeing all the heat and coldness in this world, this is my romance and my ideal... Now, I have trapped myself in this city, becoming more and more vulgar...

Maybe, some things really should be let go, and I should leave, leave the bar, leave the nightlife, leave physical desires, and leave this group of friends who have been together for more than a year.

……

I walked slowly alone, and unknowingly, I walked back to the closed shopping mall; I put aside the cake that Sister Ren Ran gave me, and then sat on the steps...

The giant advertising screen was still playing the Luxi advertising video.

It was extremely quiet near the shopping mall at two o'clock in the morning; then, it seemed like she and I were the only ones left in the whole world...

I was decadent and reflecting, while she was radiating the hottest energy on the screen.

I put my hands together, put them over my eyes, and looked at the screen with some confusion. This was a promotional video she shot for this luxury brand: the background was an open-air ski resort abroad, and she was wearing a sky blue dress. She was holding a bouquet of flowers in her left hand, and a goblet in her right hand, filled with transparent water... The sky was densely covered with dark clouds, which seemed a bit dull... And she was walking smartly under the dark clouds on her skis, her The hem of her skirt and long hair were fluttering in the wind, the white snow became more and more eye-catching under her feet, and the world became more and more pure... At this time, she raised the glass gently, looked forward, and took a sip of the water in the glass.

This is a difficult action, but she performed it with ease and ease...

I know that the brand wants to use this idea to reflect the brand tone of coexistence of elegance and sport, but what I see is an inner calmness and the ultimate pursuit of freedom. She transcends the world and transcends everything. Opposition and contradiction have become independent individuals that exist proudly, and finally, with a graceful posture, they are deeply imprinted in my heart.

I understood why I felt out of reach when I met her for the first time; this kind of woman should only exist in the promotional videos in front of me; if I hadn’t accidentally met her, even if I was lucky enough to meet her in real life, I would Just watching from a distance, unable to communicate or speak.

I can already imagine that she has a wealthy family. From the moment she can learn, her family will give her the best education and make her versatile, and skiing is just one of them. After 20 years of After training, she was finally sent into the star-studded entertainment circle. She lived up to expectations and was already the brightest star at a young age.To a certain extent, we are both believers in advocating freedom, but there is no difference. If I am doing asceticism on earth, then she is the one dancing in the sky. Therefore, wherever I go, there are fireworks in the world, and she Follow the wind and stars, turning freedom into a dream and an art.

I liked this commercial she shot so much that I recited her name silently in my mind.

"Deer Creek".

This is an almost natural goodwill. Unfortunately, she will not have the slightest goodwill towards a person like me. In her heart, I am just a scumbag who failed in an affair and then harassed her.

I am very depressed!

……

When I returned to my RV, it was already late at night, but I had no desire to sleep at all. I turned on the spotlight on the bedside, ate the birthday cake given to me by sister Ren Ran, and looked at the picture posted on On the "Map of China" on my toes, I marked the places I've been with a red pen.

Nowadays, only XJ has not been there. I have long heard that Northern Xinjiang is an extremely beautiful place. There is "Salim Lake", Nalati Grassland, and a road that has suddenly become popular in recent years. The "Duku Highway" connects northern Xinjiang and southern Xinjiang, and there are unparalleled beautiful scenery along the way.

Of course I was yearning for it, but I ended up staying in Qingdao for a year and a half. During the year and a half in Qingdao, as long as I wasn’t extremely drunk, I would habitually suffer from insomnia. When I had insomnia, I would look at the road on the map. Heading to the "Lianhuo Highway" in northern Xinjiang, I felt lost for a while.

I encouraged myself countless times, but I could never find the enthusiasm I had to drive myself on this highway, which is known as the longest highway in China, just because there was no longer a woman named Luan Yu accompanying me all the way.

She left me in Qingdao and there has been no news from her.

……

Exhaling the turbid air in my mouth, I finally put out the cigarette in my hand, then picked up the red pen and drew a circle at the end of "Lianhuo Expressway".

It’s time to leave Qingdao!
……

The next day, I slept until noon and got up. I didn't cook by myself as usual.I ordered takeout for the first time in order to save time and pack the RV and luggage.

In order to reduce the hidden dangers of driving, I put all the large luggage in the lockers at the bottom of the car, and then cleaned the RV again. After confirming that the car was clean, I stored the bucket that had been stored for a year and a half. I took out the gasoline. One-third of the gasoline had evaporated, but it was still enough for me to drive to the nearest gas station.

……

The sunshine at noon was very dazzling. When I was ready, I stood on the beach and lit a cigarette. This is a sense of ritual that I must have before leaving a city. I don’t want to leave in a hurry, because every city has it. A place worth remembering.

Qingdao is particularly special. After wandering outside for so long, this is the first time I have my own circle of friends in a city. Although I always say that I am just a passerby, this place has already left a mark on my heart, and I feel a little uncomfortable. Let go...but I haven't figured it out yet. Is it this city or the people in this city that I don't want to let go of?
……

A cigarette gradually burned to the end as time went by. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before preparing to leave. If everything goes well, I will be able to board the train leading to XJ in two hours. Huo Expressway.

"Are you a Korean Chao?"

I turned around and saw a 30-year-old woman standing behind me. She was a little fat and wore glasses, but she looked smart and capable. I looked at her, and her eyes were full of hostility. So I subconsciously I'm recalling it in my mind, but I can't remember when I had an encounter with her...

"I am, who are you?"

"Stop asking questions knowingly?"

I was a little annoyed by her inexplicability, and then my tone became less friendly: "Why should I ask knowingly, are we familiar?... If you have something to ask me about, don't hide it... I'll get there right away..." We are leaving Qingdao."

"Now that I've found you, I'm afraid you won't be able to leave..." As she said that, the woman took out an envelope from her bag, handed it to me, and said, "Open it and take a look."

I was wary, but because I was really confused, I took it from her hand and opened it.

I was shocked: the envelope contained a dozen photos, which recorded the entire process of me entering the room by mistake from different angles.

Yes, that’s the female star’s room!

(End of this chapter)