i'm not a bad man

Chapter 229 You should reflect

When we walked into Luan Yu's ward, she had woken up, but she still looked very weak. It wasn't until she felt someone standing next to her that she opened her eyes with a tired face, and I just looked at her, I don't know what to say for a moment...

At this time, her father was still fighting a life-and-death battle with the disease in the hospital, and she was suffering from the same disease as her father. It was in line with the saying: hemp ropes are only cut at the thinnest points, and bad luck only seeks out the poor. I don’t have to go. I think deeply about Luan Yu's situation, and just think about how her mother felt after learning about this incident, and I feel extremely suffocated...

I would like to ask, how could such a Luan Yu leave herself and her family in the hands of a man like me who once lost his sense of responsibility for life?
Although Luan Yu and I had long since broken up, standing next to her now, thinking of those past events, I still felt a surge of regret and pain in my heart; but in order to prevent her from noticing anything strange, I still forced a smile. , said: "The doctor said you are anemic, just rest and recover and you will be fine."

"I don't want to see you, get out."

"Don't be resentful, okay... I've really tried my best on your matter."

Luan Yu looked at me with tears streaming down her face.

I was at a loss. The purpose of my coming in was to comfort her, but the moment she saw me, her emotions were already on the verge of losing control.

"Then...then you should have a good rest..."

I seem to have lost the ability to speak. I have never felt that my language is so pale and blunt like now.

"Which thing have you tried your best?... We have been together for so long, and you don't even know my parents' names, and you never mentioned your parents' situation... I asked you to stop countless times and think When you think about your future life, you have been struggling with how many cities you have not been to... You don't want to get married, buy a house, or have children... You are like a monster living on the edge of society, and you only know how to brainwash me. , hoping to turn me into a person like you...Han Chao, if I become like you...if I really become like you..."

Luan Yu's emotions became more and more agitated, so much so that she breathed quickly. At this moment, she seemed to suddenly lose the desire to express, then turned her head to the side, and said to me in a voice so soft that I could hardly hear it: " You go, there is nothing left to say between us."

There is no possibility of communication between us. In her eyes, I am synonymous with pain and unbearable. After recognizing this, I lowered my head and walked out of the ward after sighing. The moment I opened the door, I found Lu Xi standing at the door of the ward. After we glanced at each other, I walked out of the ward and she walked in. We were once again separated into two worlds by a door.

But I didn't go far, and I could still vaguely hear their conversation.

I heard Lu Xi call her sister-in-law again: "Sister-in-law, I called my brother. He has already bought a ticket for the latest flight and can be here at noon."

Luan Yu was crying again, but this kind of crying was like tears of joy, full of hope and dependence, completely different from the kind of crying facing me; this contrast was about to pierce me, and I fell into deep introspection. middle……

Leaving aside the past few years of being alone in Qingdao, the people closest to me, my father, my mother, and Luan Yu, all hope that I can become a man who can stand on my own, but I struggle to lose Everything, and I was unwilling to fulfill their expectations of me. What on earth was I thinking at that time?Why am I so afraid of the so-called sense of responsibility and the constraints imposed by society?
Am I really a monster living on the fringes of society?
I raised my head and closed my eyes. Everything that had happened was like a slideshow, flashing in my mind frame by frame. I was in great pain, but there was no chance of redemption.

……

Standing alone at the end of the corridor, I didn't smoke, I just opened the window and looked at the lonely stars in the sky, until Chang Yuli called me.

"Leftover profit."

"Brother Chao, how is your friend?"

"Already woke up."

"She...what is her illness?"

After pondering for a while, I replied: "The doctor said it's suspected leukemia, but it hasn't been diagnosed yet." "This... don't feel too bad. Leukemia is not considered an incurable disease now, not to mention it hasn't been diagnosed yet."

"It's not uncomfortable. You're right. There's no diagnosis yet, so why should I feel uncomfortable?"

"By the way, Qiao Jiao drove my car to the hospital. She also wanted to see your friend."

I responded numbly, and then fell into silence again. I didn't even notice when Chang Yuli hung up the phone.

……

After a while, there was a sound of light footsteps behind me. I looked back and saw that it was Lu Xi; she walked to my side, stood side by side with me, and then whispered to me: "She is asleep."

"Well, you didn't tell her the truth."

"No, I just told her she was a little anemic, probably due to being too tired from driving all night."

After a while of silence, I said, "I really want to do something for her at this time, but I feel so powerless... She doesn't seem to need me to do anything for her."

"Let him go with the past."

I shook my head and replied: "People's relationships will end one day, but some things other than relationships really need to be reflected and let go of for a lifetime..."

"You should reflect on it, but Luan Yu's pain is not caused by it. Even if you can replace my brother and give her everything she wants, her father and she will not be able to escape the bad luck of being plagued by illness... These are one code after another. You must figure things out, and don’t take all the responsibility on yourself.”

I looked at Lu Xi and she added: "No matter what the final outcome is, two people who have truly loved each other should not regret their choices, let alone hold grudges against each other. There is nothing wrong with love itself. Even if we are no longer together, we should still remember the beauty that love once gave two people."

"It would be great if the relationship between two people could be so simple and pure."

My negativity did not affect Lu Xi, but she did not try to persuade me anymore. She just said to me in a very optimistic tone: "You go back and rest first... I will stay with her here... Come to the hospital tomorrow When you arrive, remember to bring a bouquet of flowers..."

"What kind of flowers do you want?"

"Symbolizes hope and beauty."

At this point, she seemed to realize something and added, "The flowers are for Luan Yu, not for me."

"I know it's for Luan Yu."

After saying that, we looked at each other with embarrassed expressions, and Qiao Jiao also came to the hospital at this time. She was standing behind me and Lu Xi. I thought she would come over rashly, but she was obviously After being stunned for a moment, he slowly approached us...

(End of this chapter)