i'm not a bad man

Chapter 131 Let's go play

The distance between the cafe and where I live is only two streets, but I feel like there are thousands of miles of distance between me. The more I walk, the more tired and frustrated I become. I don’t like the feeling of facing up to difficulties, so I simply find a place to stay. I sat in a comfortable place against the wall, then lit a cigarette, smoking and looking listlessly...

I tried to find some pictures that would make me happy, but the city seemed to be still. Only the wind rustled the leaves, and the sun fell on the old buildings. After a long time, they secretly squirmed. Occasionally, a bus passes by, but the sun is so dazzling that it is difficult to see what kind of people are sitting inside. The passers-by on electric bicycles also hide their heads in their helmets, and I don’t know their emotions...

When you can't see anything clearly, even if there is movement, it is still. Because these cannot prompt me to change my emotions. I am still listless and still don't want to move. This feeling of self-imprisonment makes me look down on life and death. , at least at this moment, there was not much difference between living and dead. I was just breathing, but without any emotions, and stopped thinking, until two old men broke into my sight...

They first stood next to a trash can and pointed at each other, and then started pushing and shoving.

Only then did I get emotional, and quietly looked at these two disrespectful people. These days, young people have learned to control themselves when they have emotions, but two old men who should have become human beings actually used the most powerful method. There is no way to resolve the conflict; what's even more ridiculous is that they have been making trouble for a long time, and I haven't found out what the reason is?
I made up a picture in my mind. Maybe they are extending the dispute over square dancing here. They are dueling for a square dancing aunt. Whoever wins can dance romantically with the aunt tonight...

This was so funny that I grinned.

But in fact, there is no such thing as the square dancing lady I imagined. The source of their fight is an empty cardboard box, probably the kind that holds a refrigerator. At this moment, the old man in black clothes who has the upper hand has hugged the cardboard box; wearing a The old man in the military coat still didn't want to give up, so he also grabbed the other end of the carton.

I almost died laughing, and I recorded the scene of them fighting for the cardboard box into a short video, which I saved in the photo album of my mobile phone.But even though I was smiling, I couldn’t laugh anymore...

I put out the cigarette in my hand, then walked up to the two of them and said, "Uncle, don't fight over this carton. Give it to me."

The two old men looked at me as if they were crazy and looked at me with hostility. I added, "Aren't you collecting this carton just to sell it? I won't take it for free. You tell me how much it is, and I'll pay you."

One of the old men raised five fingers, and I asked tentatively: "Fifty?"

"You're stupid, five dollars."

I was speechless for a long time, and then replied: "Don't argue, I'll give you five yuan each. Give me this cardboard box."

As I said that, I took out my wallet from my pocket and looked through it. The one with the smallest denomination turned out to be ten yuan in RMB. I took it out and they started fighting again...

I was too lazy to think of a way, so I took out another ten yuan note from my wallet and gave it to the weaker old man. Then the two of them were satisfied and left on their tricycles. In a blink of an eye, only me and the old man who had installed the refrigerator were left. empty cartons standing next to trash cans and standing on the street.

……

It was considered to be the best use of everything. I dragged the empty carton to the lawn opposite, spread it out, and lay on it, facing the afternoon sun. It felt pretty good, so I used my arms as pillows and crossed my legs...

"Han Chao..."

I was almost asleep when I vaguely heard someone calling me, so I opened my eyes. Lu Xi was looking down at me.

"You...how did you come here?"

I quickly sat up, and the Aston Martin in Luxi was parked on the roadside; she looked at the time and said, "Isn't this the only way to your house? It's time to rehearse."

I stood up and wanted to go with her, but she motioned for me to give way. After I gave up half of my seat, she sat down next to me and asked again: "Why don't you reply to my message?" After pondering for a while, I replied: "It's better not to go. We both know very well that it's not that kind of relationship. If your family is involved again, wouldn't it be even more chaotic?"

Lu Xi smiled and said: "I have already explained it clearly to my brother. I don't want Zhao Xin to pester me, so that's why I said this... He has no other intention of inviting you to dinner, he just wants to tell Zhao Xin Xin, he has accepted you as my family member, and the purpose is to make Zhao Xin give up completely and prevent Zhao Xin from taking revenge on you... Zhao Xin is quite afraid of my brother."

I'm a little surprised. It seems that everyone thinks more deeply than I think when thinking about problems. Still, it's the same with Lu Ming. I don't know if I'm too lazy or if I'm really naive. I'm always missing something. A kind of comprehensive shrewdness, and the depth of seeing through the essence.

This dinner party seems quite nonsense, but Lu Xi is not a woman who is fooling around. The reason why we have this dinner party must be to better solve this matter, but I didn’t think in this direction; indeed, there is no other way. This is a better solution.

After being woken up by Lu Xi, I finally said: "If this is the case, then you must have this meal... What time did you make an appointment in the evening?"

"It's okay, he and my sister-in-law watch our time."

I nodded, and after a short silence, Lu Xi spoke to me again: "Why do you look so listless?"

I shook my head and sighed, and then replied: "Some things that have happened recently have made me see through myself. I know that I should struggle, but I can't always find the motivation to struggle... This state is not just a day or two, it is It's like a stubborn disease in my heart that has lasted for several years."

"That's what happens when you don't know what to fight for."

I nodded, and after thinking for a while, I added: "I have a college classmate who committed suicide last year... He was a very hard-working person. He received scholarships almost every year during his schooling. After graduating from college, he found a job step by step to repay the debt. Not a bad job... He has a girlfriend, and they have been together for four years. During the Chinese New Year last year, his girlfriend found out that she was pregnant, and the two of them were caught off guard and reached the stage of discussing marriage... …The woman’s parents asked him to buy a house in Chengdu…My classmate is from a rural area. One of his parents is a migrant worker and the other is a household farmer. Even his tuition fees were raised by his seven aunts and eight aunts. How could he have any money? He spent money to buy a house in Chengdu... As a result, the woman was forcibly taken away by her parents and the child was aborted... He was so desperate that he jumped from the rental house to his death that night... He left a letter There were only eight words in the suicide note. He said: Knowledge cannot change fate..."

I lit a cigarette, took a deep breath, and exhaled heavily: "He is the kind of ruthless person who can work all night long to get a scholarship. Probably because he reads too many books. What about him?" We all understood, so we jokingly called him an encyclopedia... But even with such an encyclopedia, there was still no way to buy a house in Chengdu and marry his girlfriend... Later, when we talked about him again, others said He is too stupid and unworthy, but I don't think so. He didn't choose to commit suicide because of love, he..."

I didn't continue talking. When I spoke again, I no longer talked about the "encyclopedia". I said again: "Just now, two old men were arguing over picking up a waste cardboard box and even got into a fight... But you know, this waste cardboard box was only sold for five yuan. In the end, I gave them ten yuan each to buy the cardboard box, and they flew away on their tricycles. They must have been busy. Find a place with waste paper boxes. Both of them are already very old. They are still running around for life and worrying about survival. Can you say that they are not hardworking?... In my eyes, ten yuan is just a piece of cake. Shit, but they ignore the face of the elderly for such a small amount of money. You can imagine how poor they are... When hard work cannot make you rich and knowledge cannot change your destiny, why should I fight?... I am just like this Don’t put pressure on yourself, live happily, and live one day at a time, what’s wrong with that?”

Lu Xi did not follow my mood. She just patted the cardboard box we were sitting on and said, "I saw it all. This is the cardboard box you bought from them."

I said so much, but it didn't resonate with Lu Xi. I couldn't help feeling a little frustrated, but it wasn't unacceptable. After all, our survival trajectories were different, so it was difficult for her to understand my cognition. What's more, she was a star. A shining star, this kind of thing has nothing to do with her. A so-called house in Chengdu can be earned by just accepting an endorsement, and the broken cardboard box is not worth mentioning.

Just when I was completely silent, Lu Xi suddenly spoke: "Brother Chao."

I stared at her dumbfounded...

She actually called me Brother Chao. This was the first time she called me that.

"Let's go play, no more rehearsals!"

Then I spoke: "It's already been agreed, isn't it?"

"When we go to school, it is our responsibility to go to class on time, but haven't you skipped class?... Just treat it as if we skipped class together, let's go... let's go..."

(End of this chapter)