I watched Er Chuang’s short video, and everything went numb!

Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty.

Liu Che was very unhappy.

It was during his reign that Dong Zhongshu came up with the "Three Bonds and Five Constant Virtues" and was recognized by him.

Among them, "Father is the bond of the son" is an important one.

Therefore, the fact that this later generation openly blamed the problem of "family internal friction" on the parents made him very unhappy.

……

[We do not deny the blood relationship engraved in our genes, but we cannot ignore the huge damage this cancer has caused to mental health and intimate relationships. ]

[If your family has the following four characteristics of internal friction, I hope that every friend can accurately identify and properly handle them, rather than blame them internally and endure them alone. ]

……

Many ancient people in all dynasties looked at the giant screen in the sky with more focused eyes.

Even though the previous video content made many ancient people unhappy, the idea of ​​putting the blame on parents was bold and novel enough for the ancient people.

So, they also want to see more content.

……

[The first type: extremely controlling, his rules are rules. ]

[Parents who are too controlling never treat other family members as independent individuals, but use a suffocating force to make you act completely according to his wishes, and deliberately pretend to be "I am doing this for your own good". ]

[They often show the following points. ]

[1. Excessive interference in your life. In the past, a female colleague had to hand over half of her salary every month. It was said that her parents wanted to keep it for her brother to buy a house in the future, but the problem was that the female colleague was still renting a house. 】

【Second, make decisions for you without authorization. A high school classmate had already filled out his application after the college entrance examination, but his father actually contacted the teacher behind his back and changed his application. The reason was simply that he didn't want him to be too far away from home. 】

【Third, ignore your emotions and opinions. No matter how you express your dissatisfaction, it is useless. They either suppress you by your status, "I am the master of this family"; or they kidnap you by morality, "You are so old and still don't understand." 】

【Four, do not respect your privacy, enter your room without knocking, check your phone without your consent, and even often ask you to report where you are, what you are doing, and who you are with. 】

……

See here.

Many ancient fathers in the past dynasties looked gloomy.

"Nonsense! Evil words to confuse the public!"

Some ancient people even opened their mouths and scolded immediately.

They did not think there was anything wrong with the behaviors refuted on the giant screen.

In their view, it is natural for a father to take care of his sons and daughters.

Children should obey their fathers unconditionally.

It has been like this since ancient times. Is there anything wrong with it?

No!

Absolutely not!

Therefore.

They are extremely disgusted with this passage on the giant screen.

Even some ancient people think that thisSuch words are deliberately provoking the relationship between father and son (daughter), which is malicious.

At the same time.

On the other side.

Some ancient people who were still sons or daughters in the past dynasties felt that the words on the giant screen were too right.

The parents of these ancient people were naturally those who had a strong desire for control.

Although the cases listed in the giant screen did not correspond to their actual living conditions, the suffocating feeling was indeed almost the same.

So, they agreed with the giant screen's point of view at this time.

Such parents are creating "family internal friction"!

Although they lived in the ancient patriarchal society and were educated to obey their parents, they were also human beings.

There would be normal inner emotional reactions.

Of course.

These ancient people who agreed were only a part.

There are also some ancient people who have completely accepted the "father is the leader of the son", so they naturally disagree.

……

[The second type: talking at cross purposes, communication is not on the same channel. ]

[The parent-child relationship I envy the most is that you can share your daily life with your parents like friends, and they can also joke with you and gossip with you like friends. ]

[But the reality is that many people almost never share with their parents, and even block their parents on WeChat Moments. ]

[Why? ]

[It is because they have parents who talk at cross purposes. ]

[They will not control you, but will wear down your enthusiasm for communication little by little. ]

[And, their focus is completely different from yours. If you post a photo of your trip, they say you should study and not waste time. ]

[What's more frustrating is that they also like to talk to you about reason and value. ]

[A colleague posted a sentence in WeChat Moments, "If a person has no dreams, what is the difference between being carefree?", and then was enlightened by his father for a whole night. 】

【Such parents do not understand what you want to express at all. They ignore any of your emotions, thoughts, and feelings. 】

【They only express their emotions and thoughts from their own perspective. 】

……

“Right!”

“That’s right!”

Many ancient people who were children in all dynasties felt the same way.

They have all encountered this situation where they could not communicate with their parents at all.

I have to say it.

This feeling is really terrible.

……

【In fact, every child is willing to express himself, but when they realize that their parents just want an obedient child, not a child who can talk, they stop expressing themselves. 】

【This is also the beginning of their gradual alienation from their parents. 】

……

“Is that so?”

Some ancient people who were parents in all dynasties thought in their hearts.

There is no doubt that these were ancient people with relatively open minds who knew how to reflect.

On the contrary,Parents are often not the creators of family friction.

……

[The third type: belittling and blaming, he will never be satisfied. ]

[Once I ate in a small restaurant, the owner was a young couple,]

[From the time I sat down until I finished eating and left, for about half an hour, the husband kept scolding his wife, wanting to impose all the unpleasant adjectives on his wife, and the reason was just that the fish his wife bought was a few dollars more expensive. ]

……

The plane of Emperor Chengzu of the Ming Dynasty.

Zhu Di snorted in his heart.

This kind of person is petty, calculative, unworthy of being a man, and is simply a waste!

He despises such waste the most.

……

[After coming out, I kept thinking, is their relationship or the wife's self-esteem really not worth even a few dollars? If it is hundreds or thousands of dollars, how should the husband react? 】

[People who blame others always quibble over small matters. They will make their family members pay for the emotional cost of buying too much food or breaking a bowl, which are almost negligible losses. 】

[You probably haven't heard of anyone who became depressed instantly. It's all the accumulation and amplification of negative emotions, which eventually lead to psychological loss of control. 】

[Therefore, this kind of internal friction of making a fuss is the biggest cancer that tortures family members and destroys intimate relationships. 】

……

Many ancient people who have encountered "blaming people" in all dynasties thought about it in their hearts, and suddenly a feeling emerged.

People with this kind of personality are really disgusting.

……

[In addition to people who are entangled in small matters, there is another kind of parents who can't be satisfied no matter what you do. 】

[You scored 98 points, but what he saw was not the result of your hard work, but the two points you lost because you didn't work hard; you won a prize in a competition, and thought he would praise you and reward you, but what he got was a disappointing "Don't be proud". 】

[Although parents' original intention was to motivate you by belittling you, they didn't know that long-term negative comments would only make you lose confidence and motivation. 】

[Because the brain cannot get positive feedback, it cannot activate the reward circuit. If success cannot bring happiness, it is better to lie down. 】

……

The plane of Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty.

Li Shimin was shocked.

Wasn't he like this to the former crown prince Li Chengqian?

Because he had high hopes for Li Chengqian, he also had extremely high requirements for Li Chengqian.

In this case, he rarely praised Li Chengqian and always asked Li Chengqian to do better.

He thought this was good for Li Chengqian.

But now it seems that there might be a problem.

Li Shimin pondered in his heart.

……

[The fourth type: emotionally unstable, more emotional than children. ]

[Emotionally unstable people are like a time bomb at home, you don't know if it will explode or when it will explode, you can only walk on thin ice, be cautious in words and deeds, and be in tension and anxiety all the time. 】

[It's like he is the willful child, and you have to tolerate him unconditionally like an adult. 】

[Sometimes think about it, what is the difference between parents and us, they are just older than us, but older does not mean mature, so you can find that some parents' minds are as childish as children, it's better to say that children bring parents than parents. 】

[The father of communication analysis, Abern, divides the mode of psychological influence on behavior into three types: child self-state, parent self-state and adult self-state. 】

[Although some people have become parents, they still copy the cognition and behavior of childhood. When encountering problems, they do not take the responsibility and calmness they should have, but vent their emotions, make a big fuss, throw things, and lock themselves up. 】 (To read the most exciting novels, go to Flylu Novel Network!)

[These behaviors, which are more emotional than children, will spread to every family member like a virus, and will completely turn the home into an emotional trash can. 】

The barrage flew out:

"You are so right. It is really a torture to get along with people with unstable emotions."

"I hate people with unstable emotions the most. It is too tiring to get along with them."

"I understand it so well. My father is such a person. He will talk and laugh for a while, and then suddenly lose his temper. I really can't stand it."[]

"..."

Many ancient people from all dynasties nodded continuously.

They all had the experience of dealing with people with unstable emotions and had a deep experience of the difficulty of getting along with these people.

I can only say that if you encounter such parents in your family, it is really too tiring.

……

[The above four characteristics are all single manifestations of family internal consumption, and the actual situation may be more serious. 】

[Because many parents have more than one problem, they may have a desire for control, like to belittle, and have unstable emotions. 】

[In such a family, no child can be immune, because they will inevitably establish self-identity from it, and it is easy to become dependent, deny themselves, and have no sense of security. 】

……

Many ancient people in all dynasties sighed in their hearts.

Any of the above four types of family internal friction is enough to make a family environment extremely tense and extremely depressing.

If there is really a family that encounters the situation where the four types of family internal friction exist at the same time, it would be really miserable.

Such a family will indeed be destroyed for two generations, and the decline of the family is also likely to be unavoidable.

……

[How to get rid of family internal friction? 】

……

Hearing this.

Many ancient people in all dynasties were inspired.

They really want to know the answer to this question.

……

[If it's the same as usual, I'm going to start sharing practical methods. ]

[Unfortunately, family internal friction is notIt is not a problem of an individual, but a problem of the entire system. 】

[So what we can do is to change ourselves as much as possible, so that we can be immune to its influence as much as possible, so as to form a complete and healthy personality. 】

[When you know that you only need to be responsible for yourself and only need to recognize yourself, you are already strong enough that you don’t need anyone to heal you. 】

……

“This…”

After reading the answer to the question and the conclusion of the video, many ancient people in all dynasties were quite disappointed.

Such an answer cannot satisfy them.

Because if you are unlucky and encounter a situation full of "family internal friction" when you are a child, how can you make yourself stronger?

So in the end, many ancient people felt that the best way was not to meet parents who would create "family internal friction".

But this is not something you can decide.

“So, in the end, it still depends on fate!”

Many ancient people in all dynasties naturally thought so.

……

On the giant screen in the sky.

The video is refreshed.

A new video appears.

[The Achilles' heel of the county system! Is Gu Yanwu's "Utopia" the perfect solution? 】

……

Looking at this line of characters on the giant screen in the sky, many emperors of all dynasties were shocked and focused their attention instantly.

Since the Qin Dynasty unified the world and established a unified dynasty, the county system has been the basic institutional arrangement of ancient Chinese society for more than 2,000 years.

No matter whether the later dynasties used the names of "county" and "county" or whether they made institutional adjustments, in the final analysis, their institutional foundation is still the county system.

Therefore.

The title of this video says that the "county system" has a Achilles' heel, which will inevitably attract their attention and attention.

They are eager to know:

What exactly is the so-called Achilles' heel of the county system in later generations?

Is it really so?

And more.

Who is Gu Yanwu?

What does the so-called "ideal country" plan mean?

With these many questions, many emperors of all dynasties stared at the giant screen in the sky.

……

[Let me ask you a question first: If you are a leader, how many people do you think you can directly manage? ]

[10? 20? Or 50? 100? ]

……

The plane of Emperor Gaozu of the Han Dynasty.

When Liu Bang heard this question, he couldn't help but think of his old friend Han Xin.

At the beginning, Han Xin said that he could only lead 100,000 soldiers, but Han Xin himself was the more the better.

Of course.

Leading troops and directly managing people are actually not the same thing.

It is impossible for him to directly manage 100,000 people.

“50? 100?”

Liu Bang pondered in his heart.

At the same time.

In the rest of the courtIn the modern dimension, many ancient people also had their own thoughts and answers to this question.

……

[Clausewitz, the author of "On War", felt that managers should not have more than 10 subordinates at most, because ancient armies were all decimal. ]

["Several officers, centurions, and thousand officers" indicate that a person can handle at most 10 subordinates. ]

……

"On War?"

"Is it a well-known Western military book?"

Many generals in all dynasties have become interested in "On War".

They are familiar with Chinese military books and are very interested in learning about Western military books.

……

[At the same time, the father of management theory, Henri Fayol, believes that if you are a front-line manager, it is best not to have more than 25 workers under you; if you are a senior manager, then it is best not to have more than 6 department managers. 】

[In addition, Andy Grove, former CEO of Intel, also said: An excellent manager should have 6-8 subordinates. 】

[The above is the conclusion drawn by Western scholars based on modern enterprise management. 】

……

"How can it be so few?"

In the Hongwu dimension of the Ming Dynasty, Zhu Yuanzhang frowned.

He didn't believe these conclusions of the so-called Western scholars at all.

If a leader can only manage this number of people, then his management ability is too poor.

……

[If we turn our attention to the Warring States Period of China, the answer given by the King of Chu is: 30. 】

[Why? 】

[Because the "county system" in the county system was invented by the State of Chu. 】

[The original distribution to the nobles was not moved. When a small country around was destroyed, one or more counties were set up in the original place and directly governed by the royal family of Chu. 】

【At most, (King of Chu) had 30 counties, which was equivalent to the general manager of King of Chu directly managing 30 department managers. 】

……

Daqin plane.

Qin Shihuang nodded slightly.

Of course, he knew about this period of history. .