No shortage of walls

All the civil and military officials in the hall laughed, making fun of Cui Zheng, who was also an old member of King Jing and was always fined. Every other year, it must be that there is a woman in Beijing who has no money to spend and is unwilling to face charges for corruption. He told his wife that he had been fined by the emperor, as if it was true.

Just to lie to his wife.

Cui Zheng was helpless. Bai has earned the reputation of being a cat-loving minister.

From the beginning, whenever criminals are involved in crimes, who committed the crime and how to deal with it will always be followed by light jokes and interesting things in Beijing. One time, Lu Zhi, the commander of the imperial army, loved to eat lettuce. One wife and one concubine at home grew too much lettuce. He ate lettuce like a cow every day. After eating for two months in a row, he vomited when he saw lettuce.

It was lettuce that defeated Lu Zhi, the invincible commander of the imperial army.

Guan Duhua, the minister of household affairs, also followed the example of leaving vegetable seeds to plant on his own. He left twelve broccoli seeds in a row. Unexpectedly, if one broccoli plant was too large, it would have four liang of seeds, and if it was small, there would be more than two. I can grow more than ten acres, and I have nearly ten kilograms of various vegetable seeds. Now I sell vegetable seeds in the vegetable market in my free time. The price is cheaper than what the government sells. I invite everyone to buy it. The purpose of this move is not to sell for money, but there are not enough vegetables in Song Dynasty. I don’t want to waste it. Please buy and grow it. You can take it away without paying.

There is only one condition, take the necessary seeds.

Liu Guo was addicted to potatoes with sprouts and was poisoned. He said that he was surrounded by beautiful women and slept for two days.

What made the people laugh the most was Chang Sheng, the second-grade commander of the Dongyang Army, who loved sweet potatoes the most. One day, he was drunk. The next morning, the army fireman caught some unripe sweet potatoes and ate them. After eating them all, he farted loudly and smelly all day long. No one dared to come close to his lieutenants, generals, generals, and close men. It is said that there was a big hole in his pants.

A month later, Mr. Jin Chuan published an apology in the newspaper, saying that Commander Chang Sheng came to report urgently; he just farted for a long time and there was no big hole in his pants. Although it was smelly and loud, it didn't fart all day long. Jin Chuan, the Minister of Propaganda Department, investigated the matter incorrectly and apologized to Chang Sheng, the second-rank commander of the army.

He was just a close confidant of the ever-victorious army commander. They clashed on the battlefield and refused to retreat. However, he was still able to escape due to the commander's big ass.

The victorious commander's fart is more terrifying than the enemy's weapons.

Some of the people laughed so hard that they rolled on the ground with laughter.

The newspaper said it was issued once a month, but it was often extended; it became available every day. In addition to reporting on crimes, Mr. Jin also wrote brilliantly. Now that the people had money, all the literate people bought it and read it.

Then, the newspaper reported that the workshop had a new thing called chalk. It was made of lime and a secret recipe. It was very easy to write and erase. It was most readable when written on a black board. There are one hundred sticks in a box, each stick is three inches long. Suitable for teachers in school. Very cheap, a box sold in Song Dynasty for fifteen cents, and sold outside Song Dynasty for twenty cents. There is also a chart below. The emperor said it was a multiplication formula. He said that it looked uncomfortable when he saw Taixue teaching multiplication. He came up with a special method, one multiplied by one, etc., and the word multiplication was represented by The Nine Palaces Numerology, the Imperial Scholars did not understand it for a long time. His Majesty, the wise and mighty emperor, took a pencil and drew several methods without adding any details. Those Imperial Scholars were stupid and stupid. They had grown white beards in vain and knelt down. There, I didn't dare to get up for a long time.

Fortunately, His Majesty the Orthodox Emperor has mercy on such stupid scholars. If it's the former dynasty, even if you don't push it out and chop it, you should still hit it twenty times.

In addition, the workshop of the Cat-loving Minister has produced something called a barbecue grill. His Majesty the Emperor, the Empress Dowager, the Empress Dowager, the Empress and the ladies of the harem are preparing to hold a barbecue party on October 15th. Now the Emperor is personally giving instructions. The imperial chef, but the imperial chef is just like the bachelor, he has no airs. If there is no wise and powerful emperor, he will be extremely stupid and incompetent. Fortunately, the emperor is compassionate and loves his people like his own son. If they were in the previous dynasty, they would all be taken out and chopped down.

Regarding the use of the barbecue grill, Cui Zheng promised to send one to the Minister of Propaganda, and after Master Jin used it, he would write how to use it and publish it in the newspaper; and the Imperial Court officials from the third rank and above would each be rewarded with one, and Cui Zheng would be responsible for delivering it.. Everyone else, buy it yourself.

The locusts finally came. Fortunately, the newspapers from the Song Dynasty had already been sent out and came from the Nanxia Kingdom. Nanxia boldly tried it and it was really delicious. When they arrived in the Heshan area, it turned out that there were no green leaves after the locusts had passed by. Guan Yunshan ordered the guardian The army followed the newspaper's instructions and caught them to eat. Soldiers even dare to eat blood, let alone tiny locusts? Who knew that once eaten, it would be so delicious that the people took advantage of the news and invented various ways of eating it; some even soaked it in salt water and dried it before eating it, and cooked it all night long. Some people especially loved it and dried it for themselves. There are more than a hundred kilograms hidden there.

The common people, who are unable to catch them, follow what the newspapers say and drive their chickens and ducks out to eat worms.

Although the locust plague is very scary, there is no problem since it is delicious. Although there is not a single green leaf on the ground, the people just happen to eat more meat! People in the Song Dynasty were just full and didn't eat much meat. There were many ways to cook this food and it was very delicious. The people scolded you for eating my food, so I would eat you. They caught salt and made it so that they could still be eaten when the locusts passed away. Just once. Everyone passed on their own methods to each other for more than a month, and the rest went to Yue and Wu. The people of Yue and Wu also imitated the methods of newspapers in Song Dynasty. The locust incident did not cause much damage. Compared with the usual legends, it was still happy. Many people in the Song Dynasty regretted that the locusts passed by too quickly. My own chickens and ducks are gone before they are grown up.

The Ministry of Punishment investigated all the way and found out that many lower-level officials were corrupt and perverted the law, took human life seriously, and used power for personal gain. All matters were handled according to Song laws. Those who were wrongly convicted will be rehabilitated one by one.