Hidden Yao Era

Sonia was amused by him: "Hahaha, you are so straight, I will tell you, don't worry, I won't have anything to get over with you." "

"I'm very upset about you just like that. Do you remember what happened in the mountains?".

"No, not only these, but also a lot of what I have experienced before, as well as what I have realized this time, my understanding of the world, myself, and other people. Sonia kissed Castor and said, "Now I am calmer than before, but I just heard the song and recalled the process of reaching this peace, and the emotions in it suddenly came up, and I couldn't control myself a little." "

Casto was still a little relieved, and he said, "Really, how are you now? Feeling miserable, or sad?"

"I'm just moved by every life that has gone through suffering, and I can't talk about sadness or pain. "

"I think it's too abstract for me to be about what this song is about. Casto still didn't understand

"It's complicated, I've thought about it tonight, I've heard that the sunrise on Mars is magnificent, and I want to watch the sunrise with you by the lake tomorrow morning. Bring on the COPY of this song, the last part of this song is as magnificent as the sunrise. "

Afterwards, Castor took Sonia back to the house. Casto's parents arranged a house for Sonya, who walked into the house and said to Casto, "What would happen to you if I died on Mount Olympus?"

"It's going to be painful, and I'm going to ...... with you."

"Don't be so stupid, no one deserves another person's life for it. If life is held hostage by such morality, then the love built on such a relationship is too heavy. "

"Then you won't ...... for me."

"You want me to be tied to a moral gallows like this, and everyone's life should be independent, isn't it?".

"I risked my life to come to you and get you out, and you ......" Castor looked a little angry.

"I know you may not be able to accept this, but it would be a burden for us to build our relationship on such a heavy foundation. Our expectations of the other person can become too high, and if the other person does not meet those expectations, we may become frustrated and even angry. Our relationship is ......

."

"How is this possible, I haven't let you down until now!" Casto clenched his fists.

"That's true, but have you ever thought that we can't be completely satisfied with each other all the time? Our relationship should be based on independence from each other. Our independent personality should not be tied down by anyone, not even our loved ones. I was thinking that the inhuman treatment I had suffered was a concrete expression of the will of those who wielded power, who had countless cruel and perverted desires in their hearts, which harmed me through concrete power and violence. Those high-ranking people of the Shenyin Sect and those madmen of the Tianyin Sect all want to impose their will on me, and it is the people's own will that forms delusions and gathers together to form a joint force to distort me into what they want. Do you know why they cut my muscles? Because that Colonel Shukla didn't think I was feminine enough, and my muscles made him feel threatened. He said he wanted to have sex with a heterosexual man who was not threatening, and the thought was disgusting. But isn't everyone consciously or unconsciously shaping an expected 'other' when facing the other? We expect the other person's body, character, and knowledge to be exactly what we want, and we force them to do so. A lot of people are doing this unconsciously. "

"Is it wrong to expect the other person to be nice?" asked Castor aloud.

"That's right, but to make the other person change according to their own definition of goodness, that can only bring pain to the other person. I'm worried that we might unconsciously project our desired love onto each other and make each other what we want them to be. You never let me down, and that's because I fully understand your heart. But I also hope that you can understand me and never be disappointed in me. "

"I don't understand, I can feel your pain, but I don't think there's any need to worry about what you're saying. I'm not going to force you to do anything. Castor looked aggrieved.

"I know, you can feel it. But I don't want you to twist your mind to conform to me too much, you have your life mission, and I have my own mission. But the important thing is that you understand your own will to live and not easily twist your will because of someone else, even if that person is your love. "

"I'll do everything for you! I'm willing to do it, and I know exactly I'm willing to do it!"

"You see, you say everything, does it include things you don't want to do? The subtext of what you say actually includes that you will do things you don't want to do, I don't want to be the 'other' of your will to live, I don't want you to bend your will to cater to me, to obey me. People should put all their hopes in themselves, don't you know that?"

"Then why are we still together!?" Castor said angrily with a hint of confusion.

"Because of love, this kind of love was full of the true impulse of life, and now I hope that this kind of love can express our feelings in a controlled way under the guidance of reason, so that we can not only perceive the soft side of each other's sensuality, but also allow each other's lives to have enough space to maintain their independence. I don't want an overly entangled emotion to distort our free will, I love you, but I don't want you to be another version of yourself. "

"I don't understand, shouldn't you love someone with all your might? You also said that you want me to love you all the time. "

"I was so naïve then, and that seems too willful now, I'm sorry, but it seems to have become a constraint on you. "

"I don't even know how to love you when you say that. "

"You're loving me right now, you just don't know your own heart. With that, Sonia walked over to Casto and hugged him.

"I'm a little confused right now. Casto's hand hesitated, then wrapped his arms around Sonya.

"Hahaha, I'm sorry, maybe you don't understand what I've said now. Let's all go wash up. With Sonia finished, Casto left the room preoccupied. He looked at himself in front of the bathroom mirror, and he didn't understand what was wrong with his love. He is willing to twist his will for the other party but is not accepted by Sonia, isn't his love from his true heart?

Casto washed up and returned to Sonya's room, and when he opened the door, he was stunned. He saw Sonya, who looked like a jade man, standing in front of him. The dim light of the room reflected on Sonya's fair and plump body, and the light and shadow were intertwined, and Sonia in the room was like a goddess on an ancient fresco. Casto's heart was so frightened by this scene that he did not even dare to step forward, he was afraid that the slightest movement of himself would ruin the beauty in front of him.

"What's wrong with you, what do you seem to be afraid of?" asked Sonya. She then stepped forward and hugged Castor.

Casto looked down at Sonya's face, her fair face flushing in the ambiguous soft light.

"Are you a little shy, dear?" asked Casto.

Sonia nodded, burying her face in Casto's chest.

Casto said: "I have always felt that you see the world so clearly, but why is it so easy to blush because of love and be ashamed of being naked? "

Sonia looked up at Castor and said, "It's because it's my conscience and shame that support me to see through the world and still be kind." If they didn't exist, my most essential kindness and gentleness would cease to exist. But I still choose to be honest with you tonight. It was love that made me drop everything in front of you. The willingness to share our physical and spiritual loftiness has nothing to do with it, it has to do with love. "

After Sonia finished speaking, Casto kissed him deeply.

Casto later recalled the night as if it were a soft and warm spring dream. He often wandered through these memories, though not all of his experiences with Sonia were as rosy as they were on this night.

"Wake up. A drowsy Castor was woken up by Sonya, his mind still drowning in the dreamlike feeling of a few hours ago.

"Is it dawn?".

"Aren't we going to the lake to watch the sunrise?" asked Sonya.

"Oh, okay, let's go, I haven't seen the sunrise in a long time. "

With that, they got up and drove to the shores of Lake Utopia. It was just dawn, and the sun had not yet risen. The clouds in the distance of Utopia Lake meet with the orange sky, and a little light beats in the distance, as if there is a hidden vitality rushing across the sky.

Sonia played the second movement of Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 32 and said, "Do you want to know why I cry because of this piece? Because this piece is about the process of a suffering person who can achieve peace and detachment, and it records the whole process of a soul from calm to ecstasy to deeper peace and sublimation and independence." "

"Can you tell me more about that? I just think the first part of it is very quiet, and then I don't understand why it's going to be the way it is. Castor asked.

"The first part is the tranquility after the fury of the first movement, the state of mind that is liberated after a mental struggle. From this tranquility gradually gives rise to a happy mood, so you listen, and then the rhythm becomes faster and faster, and the mood becomes more and more lively. "

When the music reaches its third variation, Castor says, "Yes, it's a carnival here." "

"Yes, but this will not last, it is not the ultimate liberation of the soul. One cannot get a profound answer through excessive entertainment. So then, the carnival gradually ceased and became a constant reflection, as if wandering between darkness and light. Eventually, an answer was found. "

"Well, it feels like a sudden opening up. After Casto finished speaking, Sonia hugged him and kissed him on the cheek and said, "I know, we can feel the same goodness." "

Then, Beethoven seemed to be wandering, and his tone was constantly changing. He was so free, he was no longer bound by anything, even sonata-like shackles. His soul has been liberated and has seen the gates of heaven, but his heart is still attached to this earthly world. Finally the piece returns to C major, and he finds the way, the right path that belongs to mortals. As soon as Sonia finished speaking, the sonata reached its most majestic moment, and at this moment the sun rose in the distance, and the blazing sunlight and the vitality released by the climax of the sonata made people feel an infinite power that was close to eternity.

Sonia said to Casto, "Listen, this is the fiery heart that still beats after suffering, the great soul who embraces beauty after suffering and chooses to return to the world after achieving transcendence. Like this rising sun, warm and sublime. And I have found my own way to liberation, and my spirit will live independently and strongly, without any attachment to any gods or forces. After my spirit fell into endless darkness and experienced inhuman torture, I found that I still did not lose my heart, I still love you, and I still love the world. "

The sonata gradually came to an end, and the vigorous impulse of life gradually turned into a pure and sublime brilliance. Like the sun that shone on Casto and Sonia, the light penetrated into their hearts, making them feel a serenity that was close to eternity.